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I really do
not think that I have the same nostalgia for this property that other people
seem to have. I had lots and lots of
toys of the turtles, I watched different cartoons, and I watched the older
movies growing up. I never read the
comics. Regardless, while they are a
fixture of my childhood I do not consider them sacred or high art, they are a
bit of goofy fun that you watch, laugh a little, and then move on. But this movie takes a lot of missteps and no
real excuse for it, because the Turtles have been portrayed so many times so
consistently that the failures are all the more obnoxious.
First off I
find that all of the Turtles themselves are well acted and well animated. They look suitably monstrous with enough visual
distinction to tell them apart. Splinter
is well acted, his voice oozes wisdom and concern. Both of those things are good.
I have real
problems with the scope of the movie, the hack plot, and the bad guys. Picture for a moment a tree, the tree branches
out in numerous directions, with a big central trunk, then several large
branches, then little branches, each with their own leaves. When building a universe, whether it is a
fantasy world like Westros or Middle Earth, a space voyage like Star Wars or
Star Trek, or a world of superheroes like the Avengers or the Turtles you have
to grow the universe the same way. A
central storyline: Fight Shredder and the Foot Clan; then secondary stories:
Fight street crime with Casey Jones and April O'Neil, Fight monsters from
Dimension X, Time Travel, Aliens, etc.
This movie doesn't branch.
April saved
them from the lab they were experimented on, the same lab that is working with
the Shredder. See, you took what could
have been 3 branches: Shredder, April, and the Lab, and turned them into more
trunk. Rather than the story being able
to go in a lot of different directions instead it goes in one direction. Lack of scope.
The plot is
incredibly hack, a product of two of the biggest hacks in Hollywood, the same guys
who did the Transformers series, modern Star Trek, and the Amazing
Spiderman.... and holy shit is the climax of this movie look like the climax to
Spiderman, with a strange mutagenic gas about to be released over New York, the
tower to launch it falling off the building, and a fight taking place in a lab
between the female protagonist (April here, Gwen there) to secure a
chemical. There is also magic blood
(Star Trek Into Darkness and Amazing Spiderman 2), an action scene based around
falling (Star Trek and Star Trek into Darkness, though I guess this is down a
mountain rather than thru a debris field in space), and saving a mentor figure
who is badly injured (Master Splinter here, Captain Pike in Star Trek). So many elements that have been used before.
Lastly, the
villains are just flat and boring. Their
plan is to create a plague to sell the cure.... Which was the plot in a million
other movies and Shredder is a mecha samurai.... just like the Silver Samurai
was in "The Wolverine". It is
a boring plot, with boring motivation, and it once again echoes the sentiment
of "9/11 Truther" movements which one of the writers is an outspoken
member of. None of the bad guys have any
personality and only Shredder ever posses any physical threat to the Turtles. Boring and unthreatening. Very weak.
I really
wish some other creative teams could get their feet in the door of these types
of movies. I would not mind the Turtles
fighting Krang or the Triceratops aliens, or just some big street gang. Something other than this.
3/10
 |
| It's not like this was ever high art. |
This movie
has serious issues, but first the positives.
I still think that Andrew Garfield is great in the role, clearly having
a love of playing the character, and his real life chemistry with Emma Stone translates
to the screen as a very sincere romance that in many ways makes the movie worth
watching, and Emma Stone's Gwen Stacey is a competent active character that
makes all other love interests in superhero fiction look weak by comparison. A simple movie about them getting back
together after breaking up in the first one, maybe while taking classes at NYU
and Peter reconnecting with his friend Harry Osborn and battling a small gang
of super villains (the Enforcers or Syndicate) would have worked wonders as a
fun movie. That is not what this was.
This thing
is two or maybe even three scripts shuffled together and they suffer for it
greatly. Clearly the Electro story was
separate, starting off with Gwen and Peter broken up, Peter meets Electro
initially as he works with Gwen as he is trying to get her back, Electro's
obsession with Peter mirroring the unhealthy attraction Peter now has toward
Gwen following her and taking pictures without talking to her. Ultimately she helps to defeat Electro and
Peter and her get together, her making a conscious choice to accept the dangers
of his life as part of hers. Maybe the
introduction of Mary Jane to add a new love interest and give Peter temptation
to leave Gwen be.
The other
script had to do with Osborn dying, and the army of super bad guy equipment
that had been produced as a side effect of that research, that script had Harry
kill Gwen as revenge for Peter failing to help him find a cure for the goblin
condition, This running alongside the real story of Gwen deciding whether or
not to go to the UK and Peter having to decide if he will follow, her death
robbing him of direction in life and the movie ultimately ends with him
recommitting to being Spiderman when the Rhino attacks.
Each of those stories would have worked on
its own, but they got mixed up and staggered so they just fail. There are two showdowns within seconds of
each other, the first with Electro, the second with Harry, you are so tired
from the fight with Electro.... It is like eating a big meal and then having
someone jam a funnel down your throat and pouring in a milkshake. TOO MUCH.
These two stories are shuffled together and their themes run counter to each other, one is about reconciliation between Peter and Gwen, the other is about them being broken apart. A house divided cannot stand. This is a whole that is less than the sum of its parts.
This thing
is cluttered and incoherent and a huge waste of talent as the special effects
and action are on great and the actors are well cast, all of the stars are for
Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone which this franchise utterly fails to live up
to.
Overall: 4/10
 |
| This is a fan made poster. All of the actual posters are inaccurate, in that they show it as a show down between Spiderman and Electro... That is not the core of the movie. Gwen and Peter are the core. I feel like I will have more to say about this movie in time. Much like I did with "Man of Steel". |
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