Dungeons and Dragons, "My Favorite Setting"

Standard Introduction

            I have been writing about Dungeons and Dragons semi-regularly this year and in the course of writing those I found a 30-day blog challenge.  As I have done those a couple times before it seemed remiss not to jump on this one.

            If you want here is a link to my 30-day challenge on Disney Movies, here is a link to my 30-day challenge on Video Games, and here is a comically out of date 30-day challenge on Movies (it is old and the writing is rubbish).

Day 3- Favorite Game World

            Not to sound too much like an egotistical madman, but the answer is “My own”.  I like being the GG rather than player by a wide margin for just this reason.  I know that I have a lot of derivative ideas, I borrow/steal stuff from other settings, and I make strange pop culture references because I think that having humor to latch onto allows people to remember what the hell is happening.  I still like it.

            I like writing and playing to an audience.  When I have players feeding me ideas I can then build them into the world in interesting ways.  Throwing their concepts into my concepts creates something unique.  But, just banging on about my own world for however many words (and I have a lot of words on that setting, so many that I thought of doing a 30-day blog challenge where I just post stuff from my game world) I feel it is also fun to look at the most common and popular settings and give a bit of a rundown on what I think about them.

            I went a bit nuts with this and ended up making this a long rundown.  This will probably be the longest entry for the entire month.  That being said, feel free to post about your own favorite setting in the comments, post a link to your own blog/website/kickstarter because I like the idea of someone getting a kick out of making a fantasy world.

The Rundown and the “Imaginatives”

            I think a good place to start would be those worlds mentioned in the 5e Dungeon Master’s Guide on page 68 “Known Worlds of the Material Plane”.  These are (by implication) the default settings when they crafted the 5e material and I think that judging them will give everyone a good idea of where I am coming from.

            This section about the Material Planes also have a mention of “Heroic Fantasy”, “Sword and Sorcery”, and “Epic Fantasy” which are subgenres in the worlds and I think the distinction might be too subtle for people to pick up on in most cases.  Let me take a swing at that before we get going.

            The best line I can draw between these subgenres (based on looking at which ones get each designation) is to say “Heroic Fantasy” puts its emphasis on powerful individuals, like certain gods, warriors, and wizards that seem to be the crux the whole world moves on.

            “Sword and Sorcery” seems to be more about the world with the characters being smaller moving parts in the greater whole, whenever you would describe a particular dungeon, adventure, or kingdom it would feel more like an “S&S”.

            “Epic Fantasy” is about events, the gods/titans are returning, the Ring of Power has been found, or the Dragonborn has appeared.  The worlds of “Epic Fantasy” are still fun places to explore and the heroes still go on adventures but when you talk about the world you talk about the BIG THING that happened.

            Toril is the world of the Forgotten Realms.  It is classified in the book as “Heroic Fantasy” and I can see why.  When you talk about the Realms you talk about the heroes that at this point are so popular they are almost Fantasy icons beyond being Dungeons and Dragons icons.  Drizzt Do’Urden novels were read by some of my friends before they even knew what DnD was.

            I personally am not a fan of the Realms, I have mentioned that before when I talked about setting.  I get the appeal, I just personally don’t care for it.  To me the Lore is simultaneously as derivative as a line of best fit and dense as neutron star.  Again, I do see the appeal for those of you who like it (Kind of like yesterday’s discussion of “Simple versus Complex”, Realms is too complex for me).

            Oerth is the world of Greyhawk.  It is a “Sword and Sorcery” setting and kind of the default setting of 3e.  Greyhawk is pretty good, it is rather down to Earth, there are some key locations, some important NPC’s, some ongoing events, but really it is the sort of setting that provides what you would expect in order to run a fun game without getting bogged down in too many details.  You are heroes and you go on adventures.

            If there is a complaint to have about this setting is that the world is kind of same-same.  There is no Asian influence at all, there are no conflicting religions (that is to say, all the gods are known and fighting for power, but everyone acknowledges the existence of all the gods and conceptualize their struggles in similar fashion).  Nothing that says you can’t add your own, but I would argue the point of running a default world is that you shouldn’t have to add your own continent worth of material.  This is an ideal campaign world to start with.

            Krynn is the world of Dragonlance.  It is an “Epic Fantasy” setting.  With the Dragons coming back and being a bother as the core defining event that shaped the world.  This is another series that has transitioned from DnD fantasy to just fantasy in a good chunk of the popular consciousness.  My Aunt read these novels but until I mentioned playing Dungeons and Dragons at a family get together, I don’t think she knew the connection between the two.

            As far as I can tell the setting is kind of up my alley.  I like big events and do suggest having a singular big event like a world war or cataclysm being a strong starting point or background for a campaign.  I don’t know if I like how prevalent Dragons are in this (I tend to put more emphasis on the first D in DnD), but again I understand the appeal of this more than the Realms even if it is not exactly my thing.

            Athas is the world of Dark Sun.  This is a “Sword and Sorcery” setting that asks, “Do you like “Mad Max” movies?  Cause this is it.”  A desert world full of gangs, god kings ruling city states, and a general theme of misery as the world is drained of its natural resources to become a husk.  This thing was re-released for 4e and I feel that was a sad, too quick on the draw move for Wizards, if they had the luck to release it alongside “Mad Max: Fury Road” it probably would have captured the nerd passions that (I think) inspired it to begin with.  (I have mentioned this setting before.)

            I am not much of a fan of Dark Sun, but have stolen elements from it.  I feel the need to endorse it in theory though.  Dark Sun is part of a collection of Settings that I refer to as the “Imaginatives”.  Those settings that take the freedom provided by the rules to create worlds that break the mold of typical fantasy.  This is Post-Apocalyptic fantasy something you do not see a lot of (unless you look at how many ruined castles and dungeons that imply the fall of a once Great Empire which led to the current age which is a theme present in basically all DnD).

           

            Eberron is the world of… Eberron.  To speak of the “Imaginatives” here is another one.  A “Sword and Sorcery” setting that puts the emphasis on Pulp Action.  Akin to old adventure serials this at times feels like a World War II, Noir Espionage, Indiana Jones, and Doc Savage mashed up and spread on a magical cracker.  There is a race of sentient robots that I love (and have talked about before), there are magical trains, there is a lost continent full of ruins to explore.  It has it all.

            I kind of love Eberron because it is not the typical fantasy adventure, but at the same time you can see how it would be the future of any world like Oerth or Krynn as magic became technology and the massive earth shattering events that shaped those worlds cooled.  It feels like an evolution of the genre rather than a clean break like the other 4 “Imaginatives” but the new elements it brings are so cool that I see it as distinct and worthy of consideration for anyone who wants to move in a more exotic direction for their world.

            Aebrynis is the world of the Birthright setting.  This is a “Heroic Fantasy” fantasy setting and I am shocked they even bothered to mention it.  Birthright feels like they reverse engineered the rules for a Turn Based Strategy Computer Game into a tabletop roleplaying game (at least, from what I can read on Wikipedia).  I can see why it won awards, and the mechanics sound interesting, the idea of playing a line of heroes fighting a war is pretty cool, but and this is going to sound dismissive, “It seems like a game different from DnD”.

            Let’s ignore the rules for a second though, and just focus on the world, it is kind of bland.  Which makes sense, when you are introducing new rules you need to keep the other aspects simple so that players can focus on the new rules rather than the exotic lore.  So, what we have is a world that is kind of flat so as not to pull focus from the cool rules system, a rules system that I feel is kind of outside what DnD’s core appeal is.  If you like this setting regardless of the rules that is cool, but I don’t see the appeal from what I can glean online.

            Mystara is the world of Classic Dungeons and Dragons.  This is a “Heroic Fantasy” fantasy setting as many of the movers and shakers seem to be the immortal heroes that ascended in the distant past.  That being said Mystara has cool elements, even if it has the ugliest logo in the history of DnD.

            This world has plenty of stuff to lift out, like the Hollow World and the Savage Coast, but that is also kind of why it isn’t great.  Mystara is a patchwork of ideas, and that is by design, but as a result it feels less cohesive.

            If Mystara had been built with all of its good ideas there from the start and everything mixed together to create a greater whole I would perhaps love this setting for all of the weirdness, but in its current state it feels more like a typical setting with weird elements in it, rather than a cool setting.  The Hollow World concept is so interesting that had that concept been its own thing, I would have made my “Imaginatives” a list of 5 rather than 4.

Look at how much better this logo is.
Can you believe they ever when with that ugly looking "M"?

             Surprisingly there are several settings I would consider much more iconic to Dungeons and Dragons than Birthright that were not mentioned in the 5e Dungeon Master’s Guide, I am going to talk about them too just to emphasize that I kind of like them a bit MORE than the ones they did mention.

            The Wild Space of the Spelljammer setting.  This is a “Sword and Sorcery” setting, but in the most fantastic place possible, space.  There are spaceships in this and all of them look and feel different from one another in ways that make them feel magical.

            The idea behind how the spaceships move, the nature of solar systems, and worlds that turn within them is described as Ptolemaic.  And that shit is a trip.  I actually love the idea of this setting and was shocked to learn it is not more well regarded as one of the most extreme settings when it comes to creativity and exploration.  The emphasis in on the world(s) rather than on specific characters and events and just the idea of there being world(S) is fascinating.

            You can probably guess that this is another “Imaginative”.  It is so exotic, so expansive, and allows for the integration of ideas so outside the genre that it feels leaps apart from the other settings in terms of look and feel when played properly.  When they announced 5e I was surprised this was not announced as one of the first big settings to be published.  Illustrating how different they wanted to make 5e from 4e (which I remind, HAD NO SETTING to go with its release).

            The City of Sigil home base for the Planescape setting.  This is setting has more or less been upgraded to default, but in such a way that it is always in the background.  Sigil is such a cool and strange set piece by itself and I like that they established it as a major stopping point in any given multi-verse trip.  It is a city that lines the inside of a ring that floats at the top of an infinitely high tower in the Outlands of reality.  That sentence sounds like something out of aphasic poetry.

            The premise of the game was to allow players to travel between dimensions “Sliders” style to have adventures in many different worlds.  I have used this concept in a “Mutants and Masterminds” game back in the day because I thought players would like to meet and fight with various known superhero properties, and the idea makes sense for DnD, you could even say it is the logical setting with which to push an integration of DnD with the worlds of Magic the Gathering (settings that go inexplicably unmentioned in the books).

            You would figure that this would be the other “Imaginative” but oddly no.  Sigil and Planescape are basically every setting, which is big, but elements like the multiverse and portals to other worlds exist all over DnD; Planescape is imaginative in that it connects everything else, and has a cool set piece, but is not in and of itself super exotic in the context of DnD.  When Planescape is its most imaginative is when it is visiting individual worlds that feel cool by themselves (I may not be making much sense, apologies if I am being unclear).  Much like the Hollow World of Mystara it has cool things, but they are too disparate.

            The Demi-Plane of Dread home to the Ravenloft setting.  This is more of a “Gothic Horror” type setting which distinguishes it from the other worlds a great deal, mostly because it is the only setting that has that designation.  I think Ravenloft gets a short shift.  While they do love the main villain, Strahd Von Zarovich, and Wizards of the Coast keep releasing the one iconic adventure from the setting in each edition, the full-on setting doesn’t seem to get the limelight.  Doubly weird because of how many people were brought into fantasy by Vampire fiction, I guess they figured not to bother competing with White Wolf Gaming for all horror RPG business.

            Maybe if Universal’s new Tom Cruise’s “The Mummy” had been a real success and it looked like the Dark Universe was going to be a pop culture thing, Ravenloft would be getting more love, as is I think it will remain the moody standoffish child of the DnD franchise.

            Ravenloft is the last my “Imaginatives”.  Gothic Horror is such a break from everything else, especially when the look and feel of a world cloaked in mist that it is an example of what can be done by pulling the rules out of their comfort zone.  Even though Magic the Gathering has Innistrad as a sister setting, nothing else in DnD has the look and feel of Ravenloft.

Are you telling me this wouldn't be at all enticing to all the Vampire Gamers?
It looks so cool.

             Lastly, what is not really talked about are the numerous different worlds of popular fantasy not owned by Dungeons and Dragons.  There is no Middle Earth, Hogwarts, or Pern.  No Wheel of Time or Discworld.  No Elder Scrolls.  No Britannia from “Ultima” or Albion from “Fable”.

            There are no mentions of “Warcraft’s” Azeroth or the Known World of “Game of Thrones”.  No mention of Pathfinder (their setting is a lot of fun).  No Hyborian Age of Conan.  No Narnia.  No Barsoom (though Dark Sun might have taken some notes).  No Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser.  No Hyrule or Mushroom Kingdom.  No Equestria (another oversight as it is owned by Hasbro and has some crossover appeal).

            No Romance of the Three Kingdoms.  No Oriental Adventures at all.  No world of Norse or Greek myth.  Nothing based on Native American, Indian, African or other real life mythology outside of the West unless you dig into something like the Realms and even then, THOSE AREN’T AT ALL DISCUSSED.

            Most glaringly there is no discussion of the Multiverse of Magic the Gathering even though many are awesome sauce, and I must reiterate ARE OWNED BY THE SAME COMPANY.

            I mean, if you don’t have room for Ravenloft I can see not talking about properties owned by someone else, that would seem like an unwise move to draw comparisons between your product and those of the “competition”.  Conversely, if you have room for Birthright, you can make room for Ravenloft… you know, by cutting Birthright.

Need for a New World

            Let me talk about one last thing, there has been too long a break since the last new campaign setting.  In many ways 5e was an attempt to strip down the game to be simpler, but I think that they are now falling into the same trap that Hollywood is in that they are trying to rehash their older IP instead of making new stuff.  Let me just show you a timeline.  (For this purposes we are counting Mystara from 1981, even though it goes back before that kind of).

(Click on the image for Full Size)

            As you can see from the chart is has been a while since the last new campaign setting (let’s not kick Wizards of the Coast in the nuts by pointing out Pathfinder again).  This is kind of shameful all the more so because the open casting call that got them Eberron also netted them several finalists that they still own but haven’t used.  Why in heaven’s name are they not massaging those things into workable product.  Rich Baker still writes a DnD themed comic online (Order of the Stick) are you telling me he wouldn’t want the setting he submitted to head to the printers?  This is the longest dry spell for new IP in the history of the franchise at 13 years it is closing in on doubling the previous record of 8 between Birthright and Eberron.  NOT GOOD.

            I keep hounding doing a full release of a Magic the Gathering setting in conjunction with a set of Magic cards, the crossover would lead to cross pollination of the franchise, it would also double the market for novels, comics, posters and other merch.  It just seems like a good idea.

Coming Tomorrow

            My favorite god in the game.  Which I already wrote about a couple years ago, so that shouldn’t be too much work.  Unlike this entry, which kind of got out of hand.

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Dungeons and Dragons: "Exotic Monsters" part 1

            I have played Dungeons and Dragons for more than 15 years.  Lately, I have not had access to any other players and so I have just been kicking around ideas that normally would be in a game and instead I am just going to post them on my blog.  This is going to be a reoccurring thing as I just keep hammering out things and not all of them can be turned into elements in my “random fantasy novel ideas” folder.

Last Time

            My last Dungeons and Dragons entry was part 3 of a series on the Defense mechanics in 3^rd Edition and several suggestions from me on how to do things differently.  Here are all three parts: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

            I should also note that I have just bought the base 3 books of 5^th Edition and will be playing a game of it soon.  I like what I see for the most part (the art is excellent) but that might just be the idea of getting to play again after so long.  Anyway, on with the very soft and fluffy topic of making monsters weirder without altering their statistics.

What Have I Got: Some Boring Monsters

            This is the sort of thing I didn’t even notice when I started into the fantasy and science fiction genres when I was much younger.  Monsters in all their varieties are exotic by their nature.  Be they the hodgepodge of parts like a Chimera, the thudding simplicity of the Purple Worm, or the elegant menace of the classic Vampire, monsters are cool.

"Wormsign!"
"I KNOW!"

            After years of surrounding myself with these genres I have noticed somethings that start to feel a little drab, and then problem I was having started to come together.  The idea being that monsters could be more exotic than I had seen portrayed in Dungeons and Dragons.  This makes sense, DnD is basic (it used to have Basic in the name) and it is up to the creativity of GG’s and players to grow the world with their own touches.  That is what I have been doing and I will illustrate how you too can draw inspiration for this.

            I am kind of getting a head of myself, what do I mean by boring?  Mostly my vision of boring had to do with the life cycles of monsters.  That many of the creatures (humanoids) more often than not exist in lives like much like those of humans.  Two people of the opposite sexes copulate and make a baby, that baby grows, learns, they themselves breed, then they age, and eventually die.  That life cycle is true of goblins, orcs, and nearly anything else barring Aberrations, and Aberrations were the first things to draw my attention to other possibilities.

Lords of Madness

            The life cycle of Mind Flayers is terrifying.  They cut open the head of a human, insert an alien tadpole spawned from a giant brain with tentacles and after and ungodly transformation that human is warped into a Mind Flayer.  Purple skin, tentacle mouth, and psychic powers all from alien brain surgery.

"Brains?  More like creatine fool.  Need to get swoll!"

            How this process was carried out when Mind Flayers first appeared on this plane is a mystery, considering humans didn’t exist at the time and Gith were the only humanoid race the book discusses.  Maybe Gith are human enough for it to all work out?  Regardless, this was something intentionally strange and unnerving.  Mind Flayers were meant to be set apart from other creatures in the game not only by their look and mindset, but also in how they exist at all. Along with the other monsters discussed in the book, Abeloths and Beholders being the most iconic, Mind Flayers were made fun and different via this exotic trait.

            What I found so interesting was how a creature could be totally dependent on another species to procreate, Mind Flayers are more a perversion of humanity by some hostile external mutation than it was its own existence.  This got me looking into the topic and I started to look at monsters and species that do not give birth, they instead manufacture their progeny.  Let’s first start with a character that is beloved, and more importantly a good guy.

Doctor Who: “So you are like the son/clone of someone important?”

            I like “Doctor Who”.  It is perhaps the best iteration of a Mary Sue character in popular fiction.  The universe is huge (though often derivative of both other things and itself), the opponents are menacing (when they aren’t silly or pathetic), and the dialogue and stories are often well assembled and pop with energy (when they are not garbage).  It is a good science fiction show (whenever it isn’t being god awful).

            That being said, I have come to find out the live action show jettisons a lot of really creative and interesting material from the comics, the books, and even older episodes of the live action show.  One of these ideas was that of the Looms.

It might be a little impractical to have your species breed entirely via giant tube technology.

            When Time Lord society took over Galifrey under the leadership of the inventor of regeneration (the process by which Time Lords are nearly immortal), Lord Rassilon created what could be considered 3-D printers of people.  These were called Looms.  Each family would have a Loom and those individuals printed off by the thing, created by blending various genetic data from all of the existing members’ regenerations, would be considered cousins to each other and the descendants of all those members who had passed on before.  This is a creative and alien social structure.  It’s fun.

            It was hinted that the Doctor is descended from a being called “The Other” who was the third founding father of Time Lord Society, I do not think this is ever confirmed and with all of this stuff flushed down the drain in favor of them just being people who live regular lives I doubt it will be brought up at all in the live action series.  So, I guess we are all just supposed to shrug and say, “who cares, whatever”.

            The reason I bring this up is that it is an illustration of how a human seeming, personable, and beloved character can be exceptionally alien in many interesting ways when it comes to family structure and how they view themselves in the context of their social order.  Dungeons and Dragons talks about how Elves value personal freedom and Dwarves value their clans, but… Elves and Dwarves still have kids and parents and their families are not all cousins born from the same giant mechanical womb.

            This is an example of how a familiar and heroic character can be strange.  How can that be applied to DnD?

Eberron: “You know what would be cool?”

            I am not going to pretend I know what was going thru the creators’ heads when they started really synthesizing the disparate bits of creativity into a workable alloy of awesome that became the definitive setting of 3^rd Edition Dungeons and Dragons but I can imagine one conversation sounded something like this:

“You know what would be cool?”

“A playable race of robots.”

“Woah?  I was going to say ordering in pizza, but let’s talk about your thing while we wait.”

            If any of you people reading this know Keith Baker, try asking him if that is how it initially went down and then tell me if I am close.   Also, tell him I admire his creative prowess.

This is the Creation Forge.
Anybody else wondering why "Breath of the Wild" shrines have such a similar look?

            The Warforged are a race of quasi-living golems created whole cloth in magical forges that pressed them out like pewter wargame miniatures to fight a war.  The idea of a sexless society that was created in a state of adulthood and whose life was entirely defined by combat and the morally dubious position of having no value as individual beyond their disposable nature as soldiers is awesome and could be the basis of entire series of books resembling “I, Robot” or “Ex Machina”.

            Regardless of the accuracy of that, I contend that the playable race of robots called the Warforged are one of the coolest things ever.  I like the premise of their existence so much I have modified them to fit my own games both in DnD and in Science Fiction games and have added my own levels of pathos, like groups of them trying to build a giant clockwork computer to calculate the formula of a soul so they can all have one and start to ruminate on their place in the world and ensure themselves a place in the afterlife.

            I like robots.

            While magical technology might not fit in every (or even most campaigns) the idea that these critters do not have spiritual successors in other settings (seriously, “why are the robots not in Spelljammer?”) baffles me.  I do feel that ideas like these should be looked into in more GG’s self-made game worlds.

            So, what is the idea behind this sort of alien life cycle in fiction?

Othering: How to make something different

            Rather than give too much of an explanation of what Othering entails I will link to a video that can explain it better, but I can give this short blurb to explain it quickly.  Othering is the process of using simple physical and cultural markers to make the subject exotic and strange to the audience in order to make them less sympathetic.  Othering can be done in reverse, giving traits we think of as positive, big Disney-esc eyes, soft smooth fur, or boobs to aliens in order to make them easier to identify with.

            In TV show’s that have to produce lots of aliens often the most othering you will probably see is something like the Andorians from “Star Trek” or the Narn from “Babylon 5”.  In movies, the most “Othered” monsters are probably the bugs from “Starship Troopers” who are giant monsters presented without any redeeming traits in spite of ostensibly being a space faring intelligent society, the othering of the bugs is even directly referenced in the movie as many people find the idea of the bugs being in anyway intelligent “offensive”.

"I'm from the Home Owners Association."
"I have to tell you that your unpermitted settlement has to be brought up to code."
"Your mailbox is the wrong shade of white."

            The best example of an alien society being created specifically to be a sympathetic victim of human aggression has to be the Na’Vi from James Cameron’s “Avatar”, or as I call it, “the most over rated movie that ever existed”.  This video, done by Mr. Plinkett talks about the process of making the Na’Vi comically sympathetic.

            Elves, Dwarves, and Halflings are hardly othered at all.  They are basically just humans with slightly different views on certain cultural touchstones.  Honestly, the world views of Dwarves of Elves are so similar in presentation the idea that they are in any sort of rivalry at all kind of strange.  The only thing they seem to disagree on is preferred housing type which should keep them out of each other’s’ hair entirely as no Dwarf wants to live in a tree house and no Elf wants to live in a cave.  Aside from that they are both long perspective taking, artisan revering, friends of humanity.

My Own: How I integrated some of these ideas of Manufacturing

            First things first, I put in a lot of Warforged material.  They are typically in the background of nearly any campaign I run or are referenced in my own lore but beyond that I try and apply their ideas in a more sticky-goo kind of way.
            Warforged are very clean.  Metal, wood, some leather, but they are machines.  They come out of their forge clean and assembled and ready to go.  They do not emerge screaming and covered in Amniotic Fluid.  I chose to make a race that was all about being sticky, gross, and covered in fluid.  I made Goblins much grosser.

 

This is not the most crisp of resolution.

            The Goblin Pits of Io-Rach were an idea put forth in the 3^rd Edition of “The Book of Vile Darkness”.  The idea behind them was that goblins had gathered vats of mutagen in big pits and lowered in warriors to transform them into more fit weapons of war.  I decided to not just make this a weapons program, but a part of the goblin life cycle.

            Goblins are not born; they have no sex or gender.  They emerge as squealing children from pools of ooze created by enough goblins dying in close proximity to pollute and corrupt the land they died in.  Goblins have short lifespans maturing to full after only 2 years and passing of old age when they are in their 20’s, at which point their remains go to a goblin graveyard/birth-pool and dissolve down to help new goblins emerge.

            Goblins have worked to refine the process over the years and “Matrons” of the society know what piles of rotten fruit and meat to add to best speed the process along, and the know that retrieving goblin corpses is useful, but not critical, a half dozen dead goblins and enough bushels of rotting beans can breed 20 goblins in a year with proper Kid-Gardening (it is a pun on Kindergarten).

            Breeding for certain traits still escapes them, goblins are by and large rather uniform, but some interesting permutations can be found with the right applications of magic at the right time.  Black skin from unhallowed areas, albinos from areas known for having lots of wild flowers, blue skin if the process is done in a clean processing facility (this also results in goblins that learn faster and live a little longer), and if enough blood of elves is put into the mixture their ears come out longer.

Let's look at the designs of the two biggest tabletop renditions of this common monster.
Pathfinder wins.  It is not that the art on the right is bad, it is good.  It is just not nearly as interesting.
(Follow that link it is a blog about the art in the 5th Edition Monster manual and is pretty good.)

            Not enough mixtures have been tried in any controlled experiment to completely understand the process but that has more to do with the short lives of goblins who can’t monitor multi-generational eugenics.  Elves and other long lived races don’t want to conduct studies and actively destroy breeding areas where they find them, seeing the goblins as akin to rodents.

            Sometimes massive battles that leave numerous goblins dead will lead to the sound of mewling infant goblins appearing from the bloody muck after a few days.  It is a gross and unpleasant cleanup of such areas.

The Beg for Attention:

            I hope you liked this look at goblins created via processing their dead and strange chemical mixtures, next time I will continue to look at strange life cycles in genre fiction and how some of those ideas can be applied to Dungeons and Dragons to make the settings more exotic without taking them too far from their quasi-feudal era settings.

            If you have any suggestions for strange monster permutations that you have used in your games share them in the comments.  If you have other examples put them in the comments to.  And if you are a fan of “Doctor Who” that resents my calling the Doctor a Mary Sue, give it a couple minutes of thought and then decide what it is about that comment that irks you, and then blast me.

            Have Fun!

Bonus: Some first impressions of 5^th Edition

            I want to also take a moment to point out the definite design upgrade to the Aboleths in the 5^th edition Monster Manual.  In all my years of playing 3^rd Edition I had no desire to use an Aboleth because their illustration in the 3^rd edition Monster Manual was so unmenacing.  I had no idea they were even supposed to be something other than a strange fish, or even that they were gigantic because there is nothing in their art that indicates their size, but in the new edition they change from big green fish to scary toothed Old One.

 

There is no sense of scale.
I know it is cliche to put a skull in every illustration to show how big a monster is, but could you have put in SOMETHING.
As is it just looks like a weird fish.

Again, no sense of scale.  BUT, in this instance it isn't needed because the thing is coded as a threat by the teeth.
It screams "I'm DANGEROUS!"

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