My Thoughts on "Godzilla"

Godzilla (2014)

"What a promising start to a movie that seemed to just get worse and worse."

Overall: 3/10

            This review is Spoiler-tastic.

            "Godzilla" combines the worst aspects of "Pacific Rim" and "Man of Steel".
            It is actually so close in tone, theme, and visuals to "Man of Steel" that it kind of pisses me off.  There are scenes that seem to line up, and character roles that parallel to stupefying levels.  Instead of a 20 minute opening on Krypton, we have a 20 minute opening next to a terminal nuclear reactor.  Instead of Pa Kent dying in a silly way, we have Bryan Cranston dying in an anti-climactic way (he had up till this point been the main character, and the only one acting to any measurable degree).  The role of Clark Kent is given to Aaron Taylor-Johnson (who gets no good lines, and no character traits beyond plot useful skill set, criminally wasting the actor).  Lois Lane is replaced with Elizabeth Olsen (another actor who is put to zero use, she could be cut out of the movie entirely and it would make things better.... Just like Lois Lane really).

            Dozens of military personnel firing meaninglessly at indestructible monsters replaces military personal firing at Kryptonians... Though the Kryptonians had personality, motivation, tactics, and acknowledged the presence of humans.  Then you have David Stratheirn (Admiral), RichardT. Jones (Captain), and Ken Watanabe (Scientist) taking the place of Superman's supporting cast Harry Lenix (General), Christopher Meloni (Colonel), and Richard Schiff (Scientist).  And taking the Superman's role of vaguely heroic destructive force for good(?) is Godzilla, a vaguely heroic destructive force for good(?)... I'm not kidding, the scenes of Godzilla swimming in formation with the Navy is comparable to Superman learning to fly, and the exploration of the massive caverns analogous to finding various Kryptonian ships.

Come on, this framing of a civilization in collapse before the awesome power of nature has the protagonist on the other side of the screen.

            There is a scene in which Lt Aaron Taylor Johnson torches the eggs of the monsters who Godzilla is fighting, immediately followed by the giant monster seeing her destroyed nest and sad music plays, like we are supposed to feel bad for the monster that has caused the deaths of thousands and whose brood would have killed billions... Kind of like how Zod was seen as more sympathetic once Superman blew up the Kryptonian nursery ship.  The monster then goes berserk and fights harder against Godzilla, like Zod fought harder against Superman.

"Krypton HAD IT'S CHANCE!"

Maybe we should do something about this guys?  Guys?

Though in complete Fairness, they both stole the image from "The Matrix".

            Let me shift gears and talk about how it resembles the problems with "Pacific Rim".  "Pacific Rim" is retarded as hell.  Mecha is the most stylized and preposterous thing in popular science fiction.  In real life mecha would not function because of how physics works, drones with rockets would work a hundred thousand times better and be much, much cheaper.  Its why the modern Navy flies more planes then it has Dreadnaughts and Battleships.  But that movie wears its stupidity like a badge of honor, it is about giant robots and monsters.  Once you accept that planes do nothing, they stop having planes in the movie, you don't see useless crap being useless... Unlike in "Godzilla" where the military just keeps shooting useless crap at the monsters who barely perceive it.

            "Pacific Rim" plays the goofy concept, with characters that are one note, but memorable.  You remember the Russian team with the blonde hair, that the Chinese team was triplets, that the Australians were a father son duo, the main operator wore a bow tie, and each of the scientists had either the trait of sniveling or reckless, and much like "The Avengers" a put upon Black guy was in charge and being talked down to by a criminally stupid budgetary committee.  Everyone looked different enough so that you could appreciate them, get a sense of them, and say something to the effect of, "Ah, now he's dead... That's too bad."  (Charlie Hunnam looked a bit too much like the Australian pilot, but whatever).

This is a weird part, because it is one of the few times Godzilla could easily avoid plowing thru something and he does anyway.  Normally he dives under them (ships), or is unable to move around without wrecking things (buildings).

Wait a minute... Is a 60 year old franchise lifting from a movie that came out last year?  This can't just be a random parallel creative moment.  They're identical.

            "Godzilla" is so pretentious and does not even have the good sense to hide its stupidity while being so.  For instance, the monsters emit EMP's which shut down electronics, which the movie demonstrates as causing jets to crash.... SO WHY DO THEY KEEP DEPLOYING JETS AT ALL?  All they do is drop out of the air and accomplish nothing, so just stop launching them.  "Pacific Rim" said conventional weapons were useless, so you don't see useless conventional weapons being meaninglessly hurled against the Kaiju.  Guns are shown to be meaningless in Godzilla and totally ineffective.  Thousands of M-16 rounds are fired along with numerous blasts from tanks and ships... WHY DO THEY EVEN GIVE SOLDIERS RIFLES IN THIS?  In the later part of the movie you see soldiers in vests carrying rifles while on a mission to disarm a bomb... What do they need the guns for?  The armor slows them down and does nothing else; when the 70,000 ton titan steps on you the vest won't help.

             Let me complain about something else.  In the middle of the movie Godzilla is about to attack one of the monsters in Honolulu, and it is shaping up to be awesome.  It hard cuts to a child sitting on a couch watching the fight happen on the news.  Fuck you movie.  It was such an insulting cock tease that I gestured at the screen and began laughing in the most dismissive tone I have ever heard from myself.

            Then there are issues with sound design.  Godzilla only makes noise some of the time even though he should sound like a freaking avalanche with every step.  There are multiple instances of him sneaking up on the other monsters, including when he kills the big monster at the very end of the movie.  Monster staring at human hero... and then BAM!  Godzilla-ed.  Fuck you.  The other monster does this too in the middle of the movie to a train transporting nukes.  It just appears in the darkness and the two humans hide on this bridge, like the monster is going to attack them... Which makes no sense because it never shows any interest in humans.  It does not eat humans, it eats radiation... which I am actually fine with.  Though that adds another issue that humans become meaningless to the story, the only thing humans manage to stop is a bomb they stupidly set up to kill the monsters.  Humans are irrelevant in this story, and actively hurt themselves in their own confusion.

            Music is also an issue.  Like I mentioned above the scene in which the humans manage to destroy the nest sad music plays for the monster.  I'm sorry movie, I stopped empathizing with the giant monsters an hour ago when they destroyed Vegas and that they seem to be pretty much incapable of perceiving humans as little more than insects... I don't feel sad for them.  AT ALL.  I laughed my ass off at that.  I can compare this to a Godzilla movie that already exists, "Godzilla Final Wars" which I hated at the time for its poor pacing (and that is still an issue) but Jesus did it at least have some levity.  The music in it is rock and roll as the atomic breath vaporizes lesser monsters.  There is no moody orchestral... THERE IS ONLY ROCK.

            It also has a "The Dark Knight Rises" issue with the ending, sending a multi megaton nuke out to sea on a fishing boat.  A nuke they were hoping to fire off 30 miles from the city to avoid fall out.  But it is still in the San Francisco Bay with only 2 minutes left on the timer... unless that fishing boat can go 900 miles an hour everyone who isn't dead in San Francisco is going to have cancer next week.

So is he laying on his tummy in the water here?  Cause he is so big he should not be at all underwater this close to an island.

            There are no jokes, no sense of adventure, it is a joyless, colorless slog.  There is a giant atomic dragon on screen and none of the soldiers give so much as a "HELL YEAH!"  While trying to save the city from a nuclear blast.  This actually makes me look back of "Transformers" forlornly.  In "Transformers" the soldiers fight a giant killer robot in a middle eastern village only managing to repel it with devastating levels of air support.  A great scene, made better by the soldiers having personalities, and managing to be jokey and having a sense of adventure while fighting the giant robot scorpion.  Hell even in "Man of Steel" there are jokes and upbeat tone moments: like Superman destroying a big rig, Lois escaping from Zod's ship, or the "I think he's kind of hot" comment at the end.  I can't quote a line from "Godzilla" that wasn't said with a tone of grim resolution.

            In summation, it is dumber than "Pacific Rim", more joyless than "Man of Steel", and lacks a sense of urgency or fun that leaves it boring.  I kind of hated this movie.

            I had no expectations, how did they fail to meet them?

Whatever... It was never High Art.

Movies of 2013, Superhero, pt4

The Wolverine, or "Really?  Have we not had enough of Wolverine yet?"

Overall: 6/10

Hugh, buddy.  Can you stop looking amazing?  Kind of setting the bar for guys like me a little high.

            I enjoyed this movie a hell of a lot more than I thought I would.  They give Wolverine a sidekick to play off of, though the actress' hair is weird (I like the color, but her bangs are sideways or something, and her eyes are super wide, I don't know why, she just looks odd).  They give him an enemy with a clear motivation and resources to pose an actual threat, they have tertiary villains with interesting and distinct looks, action sequences that are varied in execution (if not color scheme, metal and black are the colors of this movie to the point of being kind of annoying).  Now to the real complaints.

            Problem 1: The love interest.

            Wolverine does not need a love interest, he is a knight errant, he does extreme violence to serve his personal code of honor but never feels tied down (that is his character).  Yeah, sure he beds women when the opportunity presents itself, but the love affair in this movie does not work.  There is no chemistry and the speed of the situation does not behoove the development of feelings.  He is a violent, headstrong, culturally insensitive thug who kills people by the bus load in this film... There is no reason for the woman who he bangs to be attached to him.  Also, he is old, like 100+, he should not be banging a 20 something unless she shows real emotional depth and maturity (this one does not).  It is the Edward and Bella problem of modern romantic subplots.

            Problem 2: This movie has terrible gameplay.

            The movie is ordered like a video game, Wolverine fights hillbillies, then mobsters, then mobster hit men on a train (boss fight), then ninjas, then a master sword fighter (boss fight), more ninjas on their home turf, a snake lady, and then a giant mecha (that can cut thru his bones and drain his powers, bigger boss fight).  He even gets a lot of his powers toned down to add tension (as if the protection of the various vulnerable squishy humans was not enough to add tension... It doesn't because they are paper thin characters, but it could have).  I am not even sure this can be considered a complaint, because I thought the variety of fights worked to a benefit, but it is oddly structured for a movie narrative.

            Problem 3: Dulling of claws.

            There are plenty of scenes in which Wolverine kills people who are actively harming other people.  LOTS OF MOBSTERS DIE POINTY DEATHS.  But there is a scene which I felt was really bad and kind of dulled the movie.  Wolverine captures a police official who is helping the mafia, then interrogates him in a cool funny scene, he then throws the asshole off a hotel balcony.  That is awesome.  But (and I am sure this is what happened), since you can't have the hero of a PG-13 movie kill a helpless guy in an awesome fashion (unlike, say, "DREDD"), we instead see that the guy fell into a pool that Wolverine claims to have not known about.

            Here is the thing.  If you are going to not kill the bad guy, having the hero say, "What pool?" makes him seem dumb in addition to ruthless.  Either have him kill the guy to show he means business, or have him throw the guy into a pool just to scare him.  Trying to have your cake and eat it too doesn't work.
           Problem 4: Wolverine is played out.

This follows what I consider to be the best scene in the movie in which he cuts out his own heart.
Similar to that only good scene in "Prometheus".

            I like Wolverine a good bit, he has a distinctive power set of indestructible man with knifes for hands, he has a cool back story of mysterious soldier of fortune, and he is part of a disaffected minority (Canadians).  But he has been the star of 5/6 X-Men films, and we have seen nearly every aspect of his life and all the interactions he has had between numerous characters, be they romantic rivals (Cyclopes), kid side kicks (Rogue), professional rivals (Sabretooth), authority figures (Prof X, Stryker), and comrades in arms (Storm, Wraith).  Can we get a movie that focuses on the actual main conflict of X-Men... in addition to "First Class"?

            The end of this movie is actually a microcosm of the issues, the movie ends with Wolverine getting on a plane with his new sidekick with no direction.  Then the after the credits sequence skips ahead a couple years (his sidekick now gone, we never learn of her fate.  Dead?  Back in Japan?  Who knows?)  And there is Magneto (with his powers returned) and Prof X (now no longer a pile of dust).  Wolverine has no reason to be a part of their story, and his story is so unimportant that it is dropped so he can be pulled into X-Men drama.  Why?  Let him go.  If you want to make Wolverine movies, then make them and let the X-Men do their thing, they have enough interesting characters that are thirsty for screen time that you don't need Logan to be there.

Kick-Ass 2, or "Rape isn't funny.  How about attempted rape?  Wait, why are we trying to make that scene funny?"

Overall: 5/10

Ironically if Hit Girl were real and watched this movie she would probably call it pussy footing bullshit.

            This movie skull fucks my sense of reason because it is really hard to evaluate on its own.  I have to look at it as both a sequel to the first movie, as an adaptation of the book, and how it stands on its own, but I don't know how to reconcile all of those parts in a meaningful way.  There are lots of things about it I would like if it were in a different movie, and there are lots of things I hate because they are in this movie, or because they short change the books.  I don't know.

            The first "Kick Ass" was alright and had a lot of problems, mostly with the subject matter itself.  And this continues that grand tradition.

            In regards to being a sequel to the first movie, there are issues with continuity, like how they ditch Kick-Ass' girlfriend (who knows he is Kick-Ass in the movies, and should trust that he is not fucking the now 14 year old Hit Girl, but for the sake of the story calls him a pervert and ditches him).  And the movie has lots of little things like that, especially in the glorification of Big Daddy who should be seen less as a hero and more of a complex figure, if not an outright monster like he was in the comics.

            This movie does something the books did not do, attempts to show the villain's journey in addition to the heroes'.  I don't think that works.  Trying to rape a female superhero and failing because he is so impotent isn't funny.  Either have the guts to have rape, or don't.  Being too flaccid to actually follow thru just serves as metaphor for the movie as a whole.  Constantly backing away from the violence of the comic in favor of soft and goofy action that doesn't work.  It Feels weird to call it soft when you consider the amount of murder and blood in this.  I would compare it to "the Walking Dead" TV show, which is so loosely based on the comics that I find it to be odd to watch, the violence in it is just not hard enough, it lacks the shock and terror it could have.  It is 'meh'.

            On its own, as if I had not read the books or seen the first one, I still have issues again with Hit Girl being too grown up on certain subjects.  She is a psychopath.  Just because she has the ability to kill the bad guy does not make her "mature" or capable of healthily expressing emotion, but if anything they make her far too dutiful and reasonable.  She should be a broken person, but instead they play her up as a hero or role model.  That does not work.  They almost show her as she should be, but again they dial it back.  It fails.

            I can't believe I am saying this, but "The Wolverine" fits better into his crazy and poorly thought out mythos than this movie fits into its own.  Which considering it is the second movie and is based on a comic series that only consists of "Kick Ass" and "Kick Ass 2" how is that possible?  How can you eschew things so completely?  How is it this jumbled?

            There is also the controversy of Jim Carrey, who plays an interesting character rethinking his stance on violence in the media because of the recent mass shootings.  Jim believed that he should not promote the film because of its violence (even though his character in the movie is a staunch opponent of gun violence being a former hitman turned born again Christian).  If I had to guess Jim made this known to do two things: one, settle his conscience for participating in a movie that both glorifies violence while portraying it as not terribly dangerous; and two, stir some controversy because he did not want to torpedo the work of his costars.  Cause things are complicated.

My Thoughts on the movie "Kick Ass" (the First One)

(This is an old post of mine from before I was on blogger.  It is about the movie "Kick-Ass" and is far more of a summation followed by critique rather than the trimmed down criticism I mostly do now, I am posting it here because I will be talking about "Kick Ass 2" shortly and want to refer back to this.)

Okay, the movie Kick Ass has generated some controversy for some things that I will address along with my comparison between the film and comic book adaptations of the story.  Considering that they were created simultaneously I see no one work as an interpretation of the other, nor do I see one as inherently superior to the other for various pluses and minuses that each have been awarded by my own mental predispositions.  This little rant contains numerous spoilers for the film and comic and if you have a desire to remain untainted in that regard feel free to not read this as it will most certainly have some impact on how you see the movie or comic (whichever you choose to personally imbibe).

It is an okay movie.

First up I am going to explain the plot of this little yarn.  In the comic a teenage comic book fan who is socially awkward and unremarkable chooses to spend his free time as a costumed superhero, on his first venture out he is stabbed and hit by a car as he wanders into traffic, while he manages to ditch his costume and gets medical treatment, he nearly dies and suffers permanent damage to his skull which has to be treated with plates that deaden blows to his skull, making it difficult to knock him out or cause him great pain through head trauma.  After recovering he returns to the streets and actually manages to successfully save a man’s life against a group of thugs, this action is caught on camera and broadcast to the world which sets of a wildfire of people dressing as superheroes as a fashion statement, the teen dubs himself “Kick Ass”.  Other heroes then appear, killing criminals with great skill, these heroes are Hit Girl, an eleven year old sword fighter, and Big Daddy, a massive man who uses snipping to support his daughter Hit Girl as she takes the more hands on approach.

Later on Kick Ass finds a friend in Red Mist, another Geek hero who has been stealing a lot of Kick Ass’s spotlight recently.  They decide to join up with Big Daddy and Hit Girl with their quest to take down the city’s mafia.  But surprise, surprise Red Mist turns out is working for the mafia being the geeky son of the main man in town.  After torturing Big Daddy and Kick Ass Big Daddy reveals his origin: he is an accountant and comic book collector who sold off his collection and kidnapped his daughter (telling her that her mother had been murdered by the mob) so that he could run off to be a superhero, have a sidekick, and have a bad guy.  The main man blows Big Daddy’s brains out, and commences to stomp Kick Ass into the floor (he resists because of the plates in his skull).

It is at this point Hit Girl (previously thought killed) appears and commences the slaughter of the mafia in mass while Kick Ass arms himself and goes after Red Mist.  Kick Ass confronts Mist, beats him with some sticks, takes his gun and runs back just in time to find Hit Girl overwhelmed by mob.  The main boos tells Kick Ass he doesn’t have it in him to take a shot, then gets shot in the penis by Kick Ass, and then his head cut off by a now free Hit Girl.  With the bad guys dead Kick Ass comforts Hit Girl as she mourns her father tearfully.  The story ends with Hit Girl going to live with her mother, and Kick Ass returning to his pathetic life having been downgraded to social pariah.  The comic ends with Red Mist vowing to take revenge saying “What till they get a load of me.”

The comic is rather intentionally cynical and mean spirited.

Analysis

The movie follows that outline strongly with a few key divergences: 1) Hit Girl’s mom really is dead, and Big Daddy is a former cop, disgraced for having been framed for a crime by the central mob boss.  2) Kick Ass gets the girl in the end and becomes significantly less of a social outcast by the end of the film.  And 3) The criminals are vastly more developed as guys who deserve to be taken out rather than just being the bad, but mostly just unlucky, targets of a vigilante madman.  Also, Kickass uses both a mini-gun touting jetpack and a bazooka (both originally Big Daddy’s) to kill people in some rather over the top action sequences.  But that has more to do with movie spectacle than story and theme.

My thoughts on a straight comparison between the two mediums: I like that Kick Ass gets the girl in the movie as opposed to whacking-off to a picture of the girl blowing some other guy, a picture gets massaged at the end of the comic as a hateful little fuck you buy her friends who hate him for reasons I can understand.  I like Hit Girl as a character more in the comic because she reacts much more human to her father’s death, crying and asking for a hug, as opposed to the movie in which she basically just lets it drop after having gotten revenge along with Kick Ass.  I dislike Big Daddy a lot in the comic, and really think of him as a villain as much as any other character in the story, because he kidnapped and brainwashed his daughter into a murderous vigilante because of his own sick need for wish fulfillment, whereas in the movie he is trying to give his daughter a part of the catharsis he needs to settle the crimes done to the both of them.

Aside from direct comparisons let me tell you my issue with the Comic that exudes from the story and characters: Mark Millar (the writer) hates you (the reader) for living in the dream world of comics, and he hates you (the reader) for wanting to be a superhero.  His entire point in writing this story seems to have been to underline the inherent insanity and stupidity that comes with wanting to be a garish crusader for hope and justice.  Let cops be cops, let firemen be firemen, and let superheroes be fantasy.

Let me tell you what the overall message of the movie seems to be: “This shit is gruesome fun isn’t it?”  that is it.  The movie wants you to fantasize, and it wants you to feel the heat of your face as the blood rushes to the bruises, but it wants you to also say: “hell yeah, and I’d do it again.”  But it also has a message to it that is underlined by the character when he says this: “Am I willing to die for someone I don’t know?  You think it’s right for three guys to lay into one while everyone stares on and watches as it goes on and does nothing?  Yeah, I’m willing to die.”  It wants you to get mad at the world’s blank stare at everything that is tragic and evil, and that is a good message.

I suppose the clearest way to say this would be to put it thusly: the comic is the cynical one, the movie is the childish (albeit more naively noble) one.

The last thing I'll talk about is the most interesting character in either work: Hit Girl.  I have read (specifically the article “Intermission” by Moviebob Chipman on “The Escapist” online magazine) that Hit Girl presses several buttons that individually cause panic and anger in people, violence to an by children and women being too tough and not simply damsels in distress.  I would also add another and more uncomfortable insight, the movie has one of Kick Ass’s friends say that he is in love with Hit Girl after she has a particularly thrilling action sequence, this is a very big spoof that I think most people will ignore because it  is really weird: Hit Girl is the sexy action girl before the sexy action girl was even old enough to be interested in boys.

If the character of Hit Girl was played by a 19 year old actress who was the love interest of Kick Ass (the normal guy she gets to save but later comes to rely on when her dad dies) then she would be the hottest thing in fiction right now not for being controversial but because people would find her hot.  She would be the new and exceptionally vulgar Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  But instead she is the undercutting of all that, with pink hair and a schoolgirl outfit and being 11 she makes fun of Manga, and the Japanese’ sexualizing of cartoonish women who look far to young in their respective animation styles to be sexualized.  That I think is the real message of her character, that violence has become sexualized and can create a false aura of maturity that shouldn’t exist, an unhealthy coupling of sex and violence even when personified by a character that shouldn’t be personified as such.  That is a weird statement for a movie to make, but it’s in there.

This is Rikku, a very fetishiezed Final Fantasy character... She is supposedly 15.  Is there any reason in the story for her to be labeled as 15?  No.  In fact her being so young is a strain on everyone's suspension of disbelief.