Showing posts with label Horror. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Horror. Show all posts

Friday, July 9, 2021

Writer's Block Review: "Lake Mungo" (2012)

              To help me break with some writer’s block I have been suffering from since the large amount of writing I did for my finals in the middle of May, I am going back to basics.  You might be saying, “you haven’t updated this blog in months.”  To which I must replay, “yeah, I had other shit going on.” 

             A large amount of this blog is just me writing about movies I have seen.  For a time I would rank/review all the movies I had seen from a given year.  I stopped emphasizing movies for whatever reason and now my brain is tired from thinking bigger thoughts about the world and suffering and how people in power know exactly how to fix it all, but they don’t.

             Today I am going to write on here something simple, much like how I started simple when I went back to the gym following Covid.

 Lake Mungo (2012)

Written and Directed by Joel Anderson (who is known for this and that is it)

Currently available on Tubi.

 


The Premise

             This is a fictional-Documentary about the events surrounding the death of a young woman and the subsequent haunting of her family by that young woman.

 

The Good

             I found out after the fact that the actors adlibbed most of their dialogue.  The idea being that they would sit down, be told what the idea of the scene was, and just to act it all out.  This strategy sounds like it would be a fucking disaster but turned out quite well.  The reason I found out about this is simply because I found the acting strong enough that I was intrigued with the behind the scenes.

             The haunting material is solid.  The idea of someone appearing in footage or in pictures is a classic “Ghost” thing in folklore/media and it is presented well almost every time (there are some instances in which the ghost is supposed to go unnoticed till a reveal and you are left going, “I saw that earlier”).

             The mysteries and secrets that get revealed are intriguing and spooky in equal measure.

 

The Bad

             Um… I mean, I already mentioned the few instances in which you will see the ghost before they intend you to.  It happens.

             It is a little slow and I think the most interesting bits could fit into a 60 minute format, but compared to the bloated nightmare that is modern true crime documentaries on streaming where 1-2 hours of content is spread over 4-12 because god forbid they cut the fluff… “Lake Mungo” is tight as a drum by comparison.

             I guess the only “complaint” I have is that it is far more sad than scary.  It is perhaps the nature of ghost stories that “grief was the real ghost the whole time”, but this one especially.

 

Conclusion

             “Lake Mungo" is a good, sad, short little ghost story.  It is worth watching.

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            If you like or hate this please take the time to comment, share on Twitter (click that link to follow me), Tumblr, or Facebook, and otherwise distribute my opinion to the world.  I would appreciate it.

Tuesday, June 22, 2021

Writer's Block Review: "The Possession" (2012)

To help me break with some writer’s block I have been suffering from since the large amount of writing I did for my finals in the middle of May, I am going back to basics.  You might be saying, “you haven’t updated this blog in months.”  To which I must replay, “yeah, I had other shit going on.” 

A large amount of this blog is just me writing about movies I have seen.  For a time I would rank/review all the movies I had seen from a given year.  I stopped emphasizing movies for whatever reason and now my brain is tired from thinking bigger thoughts about the world and suffering and how people in power know exactly how to fix it all, but they don’t.

Today I am going to write on here something simple, much like how I started simple when I went back to the gym following Covid.

 The Possession (2012)

Written by Juliet Snowden and Stiles White

Directed by Ole Bornedal

Currently available on Netflix.


The Premise

After a cold opening that makes no sense based on the mythology explored later in the movie and which completely gives the game away on their being some kind of telekinetic ghost/spirit/demon being in a box… we get a movie about a troubled family that buys said haunted box from a yard sale.

This movie is “based on actual events” in that there is a supposedly haunted box owned by notorious ghost hunter and notable fraud Zak Baggins… maybe that is too harsh… let’s change it to alleged fraud.  The actual object It is one of those things that is obviously bullshit but it is fun to pretend, we all need a little magic in our lives.

The Good

The child actors in this work.  Kids often have a hard time putting forth a believable performance, but these kids hit the mark.  I have no complaints about their performances or their roles in the story.

Jeffery Dean Morgan is fantastic in this.  He is so much better than the material that I am vexed as to why he is even in this movie.  Just a paycheck?  Was he taken in by the “based on actual events” tagline?  Apparently, in an interview he shared some of the weird events that happened on set, maybe he is into ghosts?

The use of moths as the signature animal associated with the demon/ghost is different, and I appreciate different.  There are images of the monster as seen in an MRI image that is legitimately creepy to point where I feel a better movie would have used such a scene to elevate itself to “great”.


The Bad

The previously mentioned opening is crap.  I cannot stress enough that having a ghost/demon that can kill and maim people while still in its prison undermines the entire point of the story.  When the box does the same sort of violence later in the movie (I have to imagine a producer said, “you need and action beat”) it again pushes the story away from spooky to goofy.

This is not hard to fix.  In the opening have someone OPEN THE BOX, and then refusing the demon/ghost’s attempt to possess them (let us say the person is an adult and knows not to let themselves be possessed) then the demon uses some kind of power to hurt them.  At the midpoint have the person killed by the demon be killed… BY CHILD WHO IS POSSESSED.  That ups the stakes.  That the monster is able to use their power because they are now free and anchored into a willing host.

Having a third-party victim killed by the possessed person will make the audience worry more for the family members, setting up an internal tension for the little girl who is trying not to hurt her family, but… you know… possessed.  You could even have a scene like the one at the end of “The Exorcist III” where the possessed person fights thru and helps to defeat the demon.

Another big failure of this movie is how they show you the contents of the box almost immediately and there is very little mystery to the box itself.  Weak.

Let’s also talk about the monster, I am always a little iffy when it comes to appropriating other cultures to pepper your ghost movie with some exoticism.  In this case the demon is a creature of Jewish folklore that speaks in Yiddish and is defeated by the drafting of a hip young rabbi who is willing to go outside the rules to help battle the demon.  That is a weird choice.  You don’t often see in the movie, “I must consult with a mystic to battle this evil, gonna have to catch the train to the Bronx.”

So, here is an obvious idea to help reform the plot, why not make the family Jewish?  Shocking to realize that the family is not Jewish (at least not ostensibly) considering the subject matter.  But religion is a thing that can bring people together or be a wedge in a relationship.  You could have the mom be Jewish and she is trying to reconnect to her roots (maybe in response to a family tragedy, maybe there used to be three kids, hell the ghost could pretend to be the third kids ghost making it easier for it to possess the younger sister who is not haling the death of the sibling well). 

This commitment to her religion in the wake of a family tragedy could be why the mom and dad broke up.  The idea that he no longer fit with her increasingly conservative outlook fits better than the “we broke up… for… reasons…” material that is there.  As is, the mother being just pointlessly hostile, petty, and too quick to believe bad things about her ex-husband makes her real hard to root for.

Then you have another interesting way to take things.  That the dad has to embrace Jewish mysticism to defeat the demon/ghost, but the mother thinks he is mocking her or trying to get back with her via some kind of manipulation of her beliefs.  That is real drama.  Then, just like the ending to “Signs” you can have the family come together at the end having had their faith confirmed and tried by horrific circumstances.

Remember "Signs"?
Remember liking Mel Gibson?
Is it disrespectful to bring up Gibson when talking about a movie that centers on Jewish mythology?

Really the ending is weird.  I was expecting a super dark ending, in which the demon jumps to possessing the other daughter; then kills the mom, younger sister, and rabbi; and then frames the dad for it all.  Super downer endings were the family gets murdered by the demon have been shown to work, look at “Sinister”.  As is, the ending peters out on a vaguely happy ending… BUT OH NO THE DEMON BOX ESCAPED.  Weird and not as fulfilling or scary as it should be, just stuck in the middle.

To come back again to the Jewish mysticism angle, this is not the only Jewish exorcism movie I have seen.  The Unborn” also did this and these movies are a study in contrasts.  I find “Unborn” has the better thrust, because the ghost in that story is an unborn twin, and they manage to weave that idea into the Nazi twin experiments.  Using material from the Holocaust is a lot of borrowed pathos to bring into the movie, which is crass… but it is also SOMETHING.  Maybe I should have made this a double feature to compare and contrast the two?  Jazz up this review.  Oh well.

It is cr-ASS on the movie poster for sure.
Holy moly is it tasteless to have this be such a selling point
for a movie about the specter of the Holocaust.

Conclusion

“The Possession” is a hacky bit of forgettable flotsam in the ocean of content that the world has to offer.  It is not bad; it is just typical.  The best scenes in it deserve to be in a better movie, while most of the material is so ‘meh’ you have to wonder why they bothered.

I cannot emphasize enough that the “oops, I bought a ghost” premise is fantastic not just for horror but also comedy.  It is solid gold and if they had chosen to go the route of emphasizing characters being funny/witty like “Hatchet” had done for slasher movies, they could have turned this forgettable story into something interesting.

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            If you like or hate this please take the time to comment, share on Twitter (click that link to follow me), Tumblr, or Facebook, and otherwise distribute my opinion to the world.  I would appreciate it.

Tuesday, June 15, 2021

Writer's Block Review: "Hatchet" (2006/07)

 To help me break with some writer’s block I have been suffering from since the large amount of writing I did for my finals in the middle of May, I am going back to basics.  You might be saying, “you haven’t updated this blog in months.”  To which I must replay, “yeah, I had other shit going on.” 

A large amount of this blog is just me writing about movies I have seen.  For a time I would rank/review all the movies I had seen from a given year.  I stopped emphasizing movies for whatever reason and now my brain is tired from thinking bigger thoughts about the world and suffering and how people in power know exactly how to fix it all, but they don’t.

Today I am going to write on here something simple, much like how I started simple when I went back to the gym following Covid.


Hatchet (2006/2007)

Written and Directed by Adam Green

Currently available on Amazon Prime.

The Premise

A boat tour of character actors sinks in the swamp near a haunted(?) cabin and the various colorful characters are killed off in gruesome fashion by the deformed revenant that stalks the marshland.

The Good

While not everyone in the movie is a great actor even that kind of works as it is more of a comedy.  The dialogue is frequently good, with quips and acting beats making it feel true to the various characters in the movie.  There is really no conversation or line that feels like the wrong person is talking.

The make up and gore effects capture the goofy tone that the dialogue does, and it all fits together quite well.  They go for over the top and a few of them shoot the moon.

Maybe I am shallow in that I consider the presence of Mercedes McNab to be a highlight.  She is gorgeous and has perhaps the best comedic timing one could hope for in a bimbo character.  I loved her as Harmony on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and here she is elevating the dumb bimbo role to an artform.

I am not going to call out all the actors or the cameos/small roles for horror icons, but they all work well enough for this movie.  Just some are better than others.


The Bad

I am glad they leaned in on the comedy.  Holy hell is this one of the most derivative outlines o a script you can get.  This is exactly the sort of cliché riddled movie that “Cabin in the Woods” was mercilessly mocking and if they had tried to play it completely straight it would have been complete garbage.

Bigger issues come with the shoestring budget, as Saturday Night Live has more convincing swamp sets.  Worse for the horror side of the story, everything is lit to a comical level… At one point they find a flashlight and its beam is completely drown out by the lighting they just have as the default.  Keep in mind this is supposed to be night, in a foggy swamp, it should be dark as hell.  I can’t help but imagine how you could light the woods in a way that makes it visually interesting without completely breaking the conceit, but you would need a lighting guy who costs money and they don’t have any of that.

As far as acting, unfortunately the worst performance is the movie’s final girl, played by Tamara Feldman.  She is playing this role way too straight and comes off like someone from a more serious iteration of this material who got lost.  Bad direction?  Maybe she just wasn’t into it because she did not reprise the role for the sequel.  Either way it is the weakest acting on the character with perhaps the 2nd or 3rd most screen time.

My biggest issue is with the ending, which I guess will be a spoiled here.  The ending feels like a cheat on the characters.  They are clever earlier in the movie trying to concoct a plan that played on what they knew about the monster’s origins, “let’s light him on fire, because his tragic death involved him trying to escape a burning cabin” and their plan is foiled by rain.  This plan is good.  And how it is foiled is also good.  That should have been the climax and ending of the movie, but that is instead the end of act two.

The ending comes when the characters have a protracted chase thru a graveyard and seemingly defeat the monster by stabbing it in the face.  Stabbing in the face is not any more effective than the myriad of other bullets, stabbings, and other harm they have visited upon the monster and yet they think they beat it.  The characters are surprised when the monster shows back up and ostensibly kills the remaining characters.  Downer ending, perfectly fine for this kind of movie.  BUT, that feels like a betrayal of the characters who were previously shown to at least be trying to get a handle on things.

To fix this I would have moved the chase scene to act 2, the characters realize they can’t get away after being chased in a circle back to the haunted cabin.  They then try to use the fire plan on the monster back at the haunted cabin, and then their plan is foiled and they all die.  Ramp up the character’s knowledge and insight in how to fight the monster as time goes on, make the audience feel like the characters are going thru an arc.  Currently their knowledge goes up and then crashes down.

For an example of how to do this well I have to point to the first “Nightmare on Elm Street” movie.  Nancy forms a plan on how to defeat Freddy Krueger by pulling him out of the dream world and into her house full of traps, it ostensibly works… but the twist ending shows that Freddy was not actually defeated and the characters die.  “Elm Street” ramped up to the twist ending, it felt like a surprise and it doesn’t feel like the characters failed to try everything they could.

The ending kind of ties into one more issue, there is no character arc.  You usually want to show your protagonists dealing with some kind of trauma or weakness over the course of the narrative, and by overcoming the weakness they help to overcome the monster.  In this instance the main character is dealing with a breakup from a previous relationship and the final girl is trying to investigate what happened to her brother and father.  Logically, neither of these tie into fighting a revenant… The best I could think is that during some key moment the Final Girl’s father and brother could rise up as revenants to try and help her escape?  And logically the main guy getting over his breakup by getting with the final girl would be the other side of things, you would have to establish that she left him because he was not a take-charge kind of guy and by the end of the movie he is a take-charge kind of guy.  Just… Something.

 


Conclusion

I don’t hate this movie, it is watchable.  The humor elevates in enough that the derivative elements and low production values are mostly forgiven.  I can’t help but wonder if they could have done something more creative with the backstory?  Maybe if they had the budget to make the presentation of the setting actually scary?

It is strange that one of my oldest movie reviews on this blog is for “Phantasm” which was similarly low budget but was far more creative with the premise… and I still like this one more because the acting and dialogue is better.  Maybe give Adam Green some money to work with so that he can escape the horror-ghetto his career seems to be in and see what he could do with something bigger and stranger?  I could see him  doing episodes of “Creepshow” or other horror anthology series without breaking a sweat.

This is not the first movie by Adam Green I have seen. “Digging up the Marrow”, which is sort of a cross between a mockumentary and the movie “Nightbreed” was, and it is better than “Hatchet”… and better than “Nightbreed”.

(Sidenote on “Phantasm”, I no longer consider it the worst movie I have ever seen by a long shot.  That title went to “Boyhood”.)


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            If you like or hate this please take the time to comment, share on Twitter (click that link to follow me), Tumblr, or Facebook, and otherwise distribute my opinion to the world.  I would appreciate it.

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Edgar Allan Poe's "The Masque of the Red Death"


                In the Past, I have done small rewrites of the words of HP Lovecraft.  This is a minor writing exercise that I chose to do because… I don’t it is something to do.  Considering the world wide pandemic I figured I would do a slight redux of Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Masque of the Red Death”.  It is a pretty good story.  If I had any real criticisms they would be he uses too many instances of “and” or “but”, and he definitely uses the phrase “to and fro” far too often.  Really long paragraphs and run on sentences… Edgar, buddy, I love the semi colon too, but maybe just rework things… Just give my mortal eyes a break in the text please.

                I kind of wish he had worked this all into a poem like “The Raven”, and I am uncertain as to whether he intended any symbolic motif with the color rooms.  I could look up some interpretations, but I did not want to spend more than a couple hours on this as a break from doing actual work.  If you haven’t read the story before, please enjoy.  If you have read the story before but found the language choice a little off for a modern reader, try mine and see if you like it.  I mean it is still English, it is not that hard to touch up.


The Masque of the Red Death


The "Red Death" had long devastated the country.  No pestilence had ever been so fatal, so hideous.  Blood was its Avatar and its seal—the redness and the horror of blood.  Sharp and sudden pains, dizziness, and then the bleeding from the pores.  The scarlet stains upon the body and face of the victims, were the mark of death shutting him out from the aid and sympathy of their countrymen.  From seizure to termination, took as little as half an hour.

But Prospero, the happy Prince, when his dominions were half depopulated, summoned to his presence a thousand vigorous and light-hearted friends from among the knights and dames of his court.  With these revelers retired to the deep seclusion of one of his vast manors.

This was a magnificent structure.  The creation of the Prince's own eccentric and august taste. A strong and lofty wall girded it all in with gates of iron and the visages of angels, muses, satyrs, and nymphs gazing down on the revelers.

Having entered, the courtiers brought furnaces and hammers to weld and clasp the bolts. Resolved to leave no easy ingress nor egress to the sudden impulses of despair or of frenzy from within. The Manor was amply provisioned. With such precautions the courtiers would prove defiant to the contagion. “The external world will take care of itself.”  “They shall learn cleanliness and godliness.”  “And those with faith will be kept pure.”

In the meantime it was folly to grieve, or to think. The Prince had provided all the appliances of pleasure. There were buffoons, there were dancers, there were musicians, there was Beauty, there was wine. All these and security were within. Without was the "Red Death".

It was towards the close of the fifth or sixth month of this seclusion, and while the pestilence raged most furiously abroad, that the Prince Prospero entertained his thousand friends at a masked ball of the most unusual magnificence.

It was a voluptuous scene, this masquerade held in 7 rooms of the manor.  An imperial suite allowed passage to each.  Unlike those found elsewhere, as in many palaces such suites form a long and straight vista with folding doors sliding back nearly to the walls on either hand, so that the view of the whole extent is scarcely impeded. Here in the manor of Prince Prospero, the case was very different, as one might have expected from the host’s love of the bizarre.

The apartments were arranged irregularly that one’s sight embraced but little more than one at a time. A sharp turn every twenty or thirty yards made each view its own contained vision.  Each turn promising a novel effect.

To the right and left, in the middle of each wall, a tall and narrow Gothic window looked out upon a closed corridor which pursued the windings of the suite. These windows were of stained glass whose color varied in accordance with the prevailing hue of the decorations of the chamber into which it opened. The eastern extremity was hung in blue and vividly blue were its windows. The second chamber was purple in its ornaments and tapestries, and here the panes were purple. The third was green throughout, and so were the casements. The fourth was furnished and lighted with orange, the fifth with white, the sixth with violet.

The seventh apartment was closely shrouded in black velvet tapestries that hung all over the ceiling and down the walls, falling in heavy folds upon a carpet of the same material and hue. But in this chamber only, the color of the windows failed to correspond with the decorations. The panes here were scarlet, the deepest color of slow flowing blood.

In not one of the seven apartments was there any lamp or candelabra.  No tool to shed light was part of any profusion of golden ornaments that lay scattered to and fro or hung from the ceiling.  But in the corridors that followed the suite, there stood, opposite to each window, a heavy tripod, bearing a brazier of fire, that projected its rays through the tinted glass and so glaringly illumined the room. And thus were produced a rainbow of gaudy and fantastic appearances.

But in the black chamber the effect of the firelight that streamed upon the dark hangings through the blood-tinted panes, was ghastly in the extreme.  It produced so wild a look upon the faces of those who entered, that there were few of the company bold enough to set foot within it.



It was in this black apartment that there stood against the western wall, a gigantic ebony clock. The pendulum swinging with dull, heavy, monotonous clang.  When the minute-hand made the circuit of the face, and the hour was to be struck, there came from the brazen lungs of the clock a sound which was clear, loud, deep, and exceedingly musical.

That musical sound struck each hour was so peculiar a note and emphasis that, at each lapse, the musicians of the orchestra were constrained to pause in their performance.  Just for for that moment to harken to the sound.  The waltzers ceased mid step, conversation hushed, and there was a cold pause.  

While the chimes of the clock rang, it was observed that the giddiest drained of color, and the more aged and sedate passed their hands over their brows as if lost in thought or waking from a dream.  And when the echoes had fully ceased the warmth of light laughter returned the assembly to life.  At once the musicians looked at each other and smiled as if at their own nervousness and folly and made whispering vows to each other that the next chiming of the clock should produce in them no similar emotion. 

And then, after the lapse of sixty minutes, 3,600 seconds that flew by, there came yet another chiming of the clock, and then were the same paleness on faces, the same stillness, and the same meditation as before.

In spite of these things, it was magnificent revelry. Prospero’s peculiar tastes on full display. He had a fine eye for colors and effects and disregarded mere fashion. His plans were bold and fiery, and his conceptions glowed with barbaric luster. There are some who would have thought him mad.  But those he had gathered there for so many months in his pleasure palace.  His island in a sea of plague, they did not see him as mad.  They could see him move from guest to guest, with jokes and pleasantries, drawing in close the girls and ladies for kisses, clasping hands with the men and boys.  He was not mad to them.  He was alive.  Radiantly alive.

Prospero had conducted the embellishments of the seven chambers, more couches, more beds, more blankets to facilitate this great fête; and it was his own guiding taste which had given character to the masqueraders.

There were delirious fancies such as the madman fashions.  There were much of the beautiful, much of the wanton, much of the bizarre, something of the terrible, and not a little of that which might have excited disgust.  Be sure they were grotesque, but with a strange sense of humor to them. So much glare and glitter and piquancy and phantasm.  And so much flesh on display, as guests shed garments till little aside from mask, boots, and maybe a matching hat and belt.

Thru the seven chambers there came a multitude of dreams, writhing in and about taking hue from the rooms, and causing the wild music of the orchestra to seem as the echo of their steps. And then it came, the striking of the hour by the ebony clock which stood in the hall of the velvet. And then, for a moment, all is still, and all is silent save the voice of the clock.

Frozen stiff are the dreams and the echoes of the chime die away. They have endured but an instant when the giggles and nervous laughter floats after them as they depart.  Now again the music swells, and the dreams live and writhe more merrily than ever, taking hue from the many tinted windows through which stream the rays from the tripods.

But to the most western chamber of the seven, there are now none of the maskers who venture.  For the night is waning away; and there flows a ruddier light through the blood-colored panes.  The blackness of the sable drapery appalls; and to him whose footfalls upon the sable carpet, there comes from the near clock of ebony a muffled peal more solemn and emphatic than any which reaches their ears who indulged in the gaieties of the other rooms.



But these other apartments are densely crowded, and in them beat feverishly the heart of life. Debauchery goes whirlingly on, until at length there commenced the sounding of midnight upon the clock.

The music ceased.  The movement of dancers paused.  There was an uneasy cessation of all things as before. But unlike before there were now twelve strokes to be sounded by the bell of the ebony clock.  And in that time it happened.  Perhaps with that moment more, thought crept into the meditations of the thoughtful among those who stood masked and naked.

Thus too, it happened that before the last echoes of the last chime had utterly sunk into silence, there were many in the crowd who had become aware of the presence of a figure who had gone unnoticed before.  A murmur of rumor of this new presence whispered around.  A buzzing of nerves as many in the party drew back from this figure.   At first it was curious surprise, then unease then, finally, of terror, of horror, and of disgust.

In an assembly of phantasms such as I have painted, it may well be supposed that no ordinary appearance could have excited such sensation. In truth the masquerade license of the night was nearly unlimited; but the figure in question had out-Heroded Herod and gone beyond the bounds of even the prince's indefinite decorum.

There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless which cannot be touched without emotion. Even with the utterly lost, to whom life and death are equally jests, there are matters of which no jest can be made. The whole company, indeed, seemed now deeply to feel that in the costume and bearing of the stranger neither wit nor propriety existed. The figure was tall and gaunt, and shrouded from head to foot in the habiliments of the grave. The mask which concealed the visage was made so nearly to resemble the countenance of a stiffened corpse that the closest scrutiny must have had difficulty in detecting the cheat. And yet all this might have been endured, if not approved, by the mad revelers around. But the mummer had gone so far as to assume the type of the Red Death. His vesture was dabbled in blood—and his broad brow, with all the features of the face, was besprinkled with the scarlet horror.

Prince Prospero’s eyes fell upon this spectral image which glided with a slow and solemn movement, as if more fully to sustain its role, stalked among the dancers.  Prospero was seen to be convulsed, at first with a strong shudder either of terror or distaste, but then his brow reddened with rage.

"Who dares," Prospero demanded hoarsely of the courtiers who stood near him. "Who dares insult us with this?  This blasphy?  This mockery?  Seize him!  Seize and unmask him!  That we might know whom we are going to hang!"

It was in the eastern or blue chamber in which stood the Prince as he shouted these words. Causing the guests to shrink from him.  The words rang throughout the seven rooms loudly and clearly.  The Prince was a bold and robust man, and the music had become hushed at the waving of his hand.    

It was in the blue room where stood the prince, with pale courtiers by his side. At first, as he spoke, there were halfhearted movements in the direction of the intruder, who turned with deliberate and stately step.  The guests fell back as the figure made closer approach to the Prince.

From nameless awe the intruder had inspired the whole party, there came none who would or could put forth a hand to seize him.  Unimpeded, he passed within a yard of the Prince's person and then stood with their back to the Prince and then strode deeper into the party.

While the vast assembly, as if with one impulse, shrank from the centers of the rooms to the walls, he made his way uninterrupted, but with the same solemn and measured step which had distinguished him.  Thru the blue chamber to the purple, the purple to the green, the green to the orange, on to the white, and even then to the violet.

There in the violet room a decided movement had been made to arrest him.  Prince Prospero, maddening with rage and the shame of his own momentary cowardice, rushed hurriedly through the six chambers.  While none followed him, he snatched up a dagger, and approached with all the courage being armed afforded. 

The figure was on the cusp of the black room as Prospero approached with rapid steps to within three or four feet of the figure.  Then the intruder turned suddenly and confronted his pursuer. There was a guttural cry and the dagger dropped gleaming upon the sable carpet, upon which, instantly afterwards, fell prostrate in death the Prince Prospero.  The Intruder stepped backward away from the body of the Prince and into the black room.

Summoning the wild courage of despair, a throng of the revelers at once threw themselves into the black apartment.  The figure stood tall and motionless within the shadow of the ebony clock.  They grasped at him and then in unutterable horror found the garments, the grave cerements and corpse-like mask pulled away in their hands and where a man should be, there was nothing.

And now was acknowledged the presence of the Red Death. He had come like a thief in the night. And one by one dropped the revelers in the blood-bedewed halls of the manor they died each in the despairing posture of his fall. The life of the ebony clock went out with that of the last of the gay. And the flames of the tripods expired. And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.

This illustration is over 100 years old.  Honestly it is kind of crummy.
The entire damn story is about color, this is black and white.
I have no idea what is happening with the design elements here.

Here are some links to the HP Lovecraft stuff I mentioned at the top,

Stock photos from Pexels by Zach Jarosz and photo shopped red by me.
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Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Audio Book Review, "The Haunting of Hill House"



Review in Brief
The book, "The Haunting of Hill House" is not good.

The Plot Goeth Thusly
            In order to study supernatural phenomenon a psychiatrist gathers a group of people for a study in a haunted house.  The main viewpoint character of Eleanor slowly goes mad in the house as supernatural shit keeps happening.

My First Complaint: Boring
The book is boring.  I cannot fault the prose of the work, as the words have a descriptive power and flow that is nice, the performer allows the words to trip off their tongue quite eloquently.  But the plot drags and there is just not enough meat to the story.  By "meat" I mean revelations, there are few if any twists or surprises, these people are in a haunted house with some architectural quirks (that I am sure are metaphors) and they get spooked by ghosts.
            I guess I was expecting more of a “And Then There Were None” type situation, where the characters clash with one another, all have secrets and ultimately they unravel as the situation spirals out of control.  But aside from several instances of ghosts causing noise and everyone being afraid the vast majority of the book is the main character, Eleanor’s internal monologue which vacillates between demure and bitchy.

My Next Complaint: The Main Character
Eleanor is such a hard protagonist to root for.  The implication in the novel is that she starts out as a good-natured shrinking violet who has had little love in her life and the house sort of twists her insecurities into general bitchiness and ultimately self-destruction.  But, her dialogue is boring, and she is a boring person. At some point you need the viewpoint character of your book to have more of a personality than feckless human chew toy.  I don’t know, I got no vibes of internal struggle, just a steady descent from pathetic to miserable, and ultimately back to pathetic.  Not so much a character arc as a character boomerang.
            How would I have fixed this?  Simple, I would have had more characters.
            For a book where the premise is, “Psychiatrist conducts a study,” the Doctor has a comically small pool of participants.  Seriously, there are two people involved in the study, demure Eleanor and the free-spirited Theodora.  There is another guy there, Luke who is a member of the family that owns the house, but he’s not part of the study.  Beyond that there are some extremely tertiary characters, the Doctor’s wife (who is a sort of proto Gwyneth Paltrow for her use of bullshit in the study) and her… bodyguard(?) Arthur who mostly serves as a gruff salt of the earth contrast to the rest of the cast.  And I guess the rude house help… But fuck’em, their whole personalities begin and end with them being curt to the guests.

Just to sidetrack a moment, I am not going to watch this show.
Calling this nonsense a "lab" is such horse shit that I feel insulted on behalf of science.
Netflix should be ashamed.

None of the other characters work.  The Doctor comes off to me as a doddering old fool with no real method to the study that forms the impetus for the story.  Theodora has traits but mostly exists as a foil for Eleanor, and her establishing section of the novel paints her as so flighty and detached that she effectively has no motivation.  Luke is just a swaggering dick and offers no conflict to the story (we are told he is a liar and a cad... But it never amounts to anything in the narrative.  How about having him act that way?), mostly he just spends all of his time pouring drinks and playing chess with the Doctor (seriously, that is how a large chunk of his time on page is spent).  Then the Doctor’s hen-pecking idiot wife shows up with her servant(?) Arthur, a dull-witted thug.  Give me someone to care about, and then have that person clash with characters who I also care about.
            Overall there is just a lack of inter character drama and a lack of layers for the cast.  Eleanor is the focus, sure it is good to have a core character, but there is no mystery element, no one is more/less/something other than they appear to be, at least not in a way that comes up in the story or impacts the plot.  It is odd to have characters that all have dimension and contrast with one another just fine… But nothing really comes of it.

Why I Got This Book
I got this on sale for Halloween and because the "Inspired by" limited series on Netflix was so good.  How such a great Netflix series was inspired by it is like the evolutionary steps that moved from especially smart monkeys up to Humans, you can see how it happened, but is such a significant change that you have to marvel at it.
"Hey, what if the Ghosts were metaphors for something and we could couple the aftermath of living in the house with the events as they happened to create a mystery that the audience will feel engaged unraveling?"  "That sounds like a great idea!"



Ultimate Conclusion
            I wouldn’t recommend this even for people interested in the horror canon.  There are just better books out there.  If you want supernatural horror, listen to “Dracula”, and if you are looking for an ensemble piece set in a spooky house then go with the previously mentioned, “And Then There Were None” (which is not perfect, but it is better than this).
            “The Haunting of Hill House” fails with the supreme kiss of death for any work of fiction, the 8 deadly words, “I don’t care what happens to these people.”

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Thursday, April 4, 2019

Micro Horror Story, "Martians"


            The first human trip to Mars was seen as the most important event in history.  Funded by a coalition of nations to set down near the southern most patch of ice that had been located by previous satellite missions in a space craft that was the largest ever constructed.
            It was an accomplishment, spectacle, and dream all at once.
            Drifting thru the space between worlds observations of the sun and the stars were conducted and every aspect of the landing was discussed again and again.  Every part of it was down in their minds.  When it came time for their little science orchestra to play, they would hit every note.
            They were smart, brave, and heroic.  All the things you would want the rest of earth to aspire to.
            They orbited Mars, gazing at the tiny moons and letting out little pods to gaze down on them, to await their return to the main ship in a matter of weeks.  Bits of the ship that had been packed for months snapped off and drifted down to the planet, some piloted by the crew, some trusted to land near enough to the target sight to be picked up later.
            The landing was gentle, measured, and went off without a hitch.  The work back home and on the way had all come together.
            The first walk out on the red planet was done with suits made for the mission, carrying tools created for their experiments, in vehicles designed for the area.  They took photos and video of each member of the crew standing on the edge of a glacier dozens of acres wide and along dry river beds hundreds of miles long.
            The world was unspoiled, beautiful, and scary in a way that none of them never would have anticipated.
            It was in the caves that they found it.  Where they found them.  Bones.  Human bones.  They were wearing a suit that had been made for the mission.  They held in their hand a tool that had been used to leave a message on the wall.
            “It is happening again.”


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Tuesday, October 31, 2017

A Look at "Channel Zero: Candle Cove", pt5

Last Entry…
            That is to say this is the last one talking about “Candle Cove”.  I have talked about Creepypasta, the show as an idea, the first three episodes, the last three episodes, and even my praise and criticism of that program, today I will talk about one last thing on this subject.
            I will provide an answer to the question, “Well, if you’re so smart, what would you do?”

What I Would Have Done
            I say all this as a guy who generally does not like giving negative reviews, as I find products like "Candle Cove" to be so disappointing for their failed potential.
            Just from that starting point of strangers doing casual research on a TV show from them as a kid you could go in a hundred directions, and “Channel Zero” chose one of them, and then put in WAY TOO MUCH EXTRA STUFF.
            Let me just throw out some basic ideas, adhering as close as I can to the initial premise of the Creepypasta that started it, and then weaving it out from there to incorporate other Creepypastas, and even other aspects of internet’s toxic and insane “culture”.
 
Yeah, I am using this image again, because it looks great...
And this is foreshadowing.
Let’s Begin
            Have someone, let’s call him Jason watching a show with their kid and begins to reminisce about shows he watched as a child, mention several real and fictional shows without missing a beat (this will actually be foreshadowing).
            Jason starts to remember another show he saw as a child.  Having it right on the tip of their mind he decides to research it by creating an account on a TV show forum and posting what he recalls.  This is where you start introducing the other characters, who read the question and start recalling their time watching as kids.
            After they start posting about it the show starts to haunt them.  They look thru old school binders for crayon drawings to jog their memories.  Then they start to have haunting things happening, walking into their house and the TV is on but showing blackness and the sound of a static hiss.  They start having dreams about being kids and the puppets talk to them like they are a character in the show.  One of them has a relative that is suffering from dementia who starts to sing songs from the show.  One of them gets lost while going home and when they find their place someone else is living there.  These events start to pile.
            The group starts looking into it all more and more.  Finding old forums and youtube videos that mention TV shows like “Candle Cove” and others talking about songs from the show, but nothing solid.  (Speaking as someone who has killed hours looking up old cartoon theme songs on youtube, this sort of behavior can be really engrossing).
            They start chasing down old VHS recordings of the show to no avail.  They look for toys or puppets on Ebay.  Communicating with each other more and more, becoming friends as each of them become more and more consumed with the idea of finding this old show.

The Middle
            While their research is going on subtler things have to start showing up to indicate the haunting(?) of them by the show.  People with out of date cloths, old cars, old turn dial phones, and other indicators of being out of time start to show up.  TV’s stop looking like the big black flat rectangles, and more and more tube TV’s start showing up.  Fewer mp3 players, more CD’s and tape decks.  Everything starts to look cruddier.

I feel less at home around this junk.
            After a time one of the members of the online group stops posting on anything and the others lose contact with them.  The group makes a decision to end the long-distance nature of their friendship and, “go on an adventure”.  They all decide to meet in person and find their missing member.  Ideally, the missing member would be Jason, the person who the audience started the show with.  Emphasizing how unmoored the narrative’s reality has become.
            As the number of strange instances in their lives grows, with waking dreams, erratic moods, seeing images of static on TV’s and computer monitors (something modern monitors don’t do), the group start to doubt their own perceptions and begin to question why they are dropping everything to leave and go look for someone they have never met.  As one of the secondary characters leaves their apartment with a bag, they turn to go back home and drop the whole thing, but Janet’s place is now gone entirely, replaced with an office building.  No turning back now.
            It all seems absurd, crossing the country to help someone they only know online because they became friends recalling a TV show no one else in the world seems to remember.  When they all arrive in Jason’s town things seem askew.  The town has old architecture and a small-town feel, but Janet and the other heroes all feel a sense of familiarity to it.
            They investigate and find a woman in a local old folks’ home that is Jason’s mom, when they go to talk to her she claims she has no son.  They keep telling her that Jason is her child and is missing, but she denies it.  They blame dementia, but they suspect something else is at work.
            Janet calls their mom and asks about the show being told that she would watch a static screen as a child and then talk about a show that she made up.  Instead of an imaginary friend, she had an imaginary show.  Another member, Billy goes to call their parent but their mom doesn’t know who they are and tells them not to call back, they try their other parent to the same result, they try to call a sibling and can’t find them (this sibling should be established as younger and close to the character, not recalling the show because they had just been a baby).
            The characters have now been isolated from a world that the increasingly do not recognize.

Last Third
            The characters start to come to a realization that since they came to Jason’s town they haven’t gotten a call, text, or any internet communication from anyone but other members of the group.  When Janet tries to show the group that she contacted her mom by calling her back, Janet’s phone just tells her that the number doesn’t connect to anything.
            As they start to pool their knowledge of the show, that the puppets went on an adventure in a cave and came into contact with something called “Skin Taker” they notice that there are no lights outside the room they are in.  The room hangs in darkness, and the TV comes on and starts playing the show with their missing member appearing as a puppeteer and he begins to tell them what is wrong.
            Here is my ultimate twist.  I ultimately want the story to be about the Mandela Effect.  The characters are unstuck from their universe.  They would have just lived in the new universe, but by peeling at the broken memory of their childhood they opened a temporal scab.  They are now drifting, lost in time and space.  The TV clicks off and the room goes dark.
            A puppet show starts playing to the audience at home, with Janet as a puppeteer asking, “Where am I?”



Damn It!
            I swear to god, I wrote out that “What I would do”, hit save, and turned in my chair to see my brother stepping silently into my room.  I yelled, “Jesus Fucking Christ”.  I have not been startled that badly in years.  I stupidly primed myself to be creeped out and then BAM!  Completely innocuous thing hits at just the right time.
 
Asshole!


Anyway…
            The theme to my version is: Don’t dwell on inane shit from your childhood, it causes you to divorce from reality.  I draw on elements that only exist in the original story and extrapolate from them.  The INTERNET and communication thru it is a core plot element.  The idea of researching the show causing the problem is a core element.
            Sure, I cut in the Mandela Effect something that was not explicitly referenced in the original story.  BUT, one of the most cited instances of the Mandela Effect is childhood TV shows, things that no one else remembers.  This addition is a natural extension of the material into another internet cultural element.
            Maybe I should not be writing fan fiction about Creepypasta, but then again, “Channel Zero” does.  And with far less respect for their source material.



            I will also freely admit to drawing inspiration from the novel “Ubik”, by Phillip K Dick.  In the novel, a group of psychics are unstuck from time after surviving a bombing.  The world around them starts to devolve back thru time and some of them wither to mummies.  The idea of branching timelines is a big part of the narrative, that and making fun of consumer culture and AI, but I will leave that for another fan fiction.

In Conclusion
            I was frustrated by this show.  But having written this blathering down and distributing it to the world I feel a little better.  No longer carrying around ideas that I haven’t bothered to write down.  Hopefully, I made some sense and was mildly entertaining.
            Happy Halloween.

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            If you like or hate this please take the time to comment, +1, share on Twitter (click that link to follow me), Tumblr, or Facebook, and otherwise distribute my opinion to the world.  I would appreciate it.