5 Random Thoughts

            I had 5 random thoughts over the course of the last couple weeks and rather than just let them float away because I couldn’t work them into anything larger I figured I would just slap them down here to hammer at them a bit.  In order of complexity.

Idea Number 1: Talking about Marvel Movies

            Marvel should have made a “Thanos” movie before they did “Avengers: Infinity War”.  Aside from being a constant looming threat for years and clearly being super powerful from what is shown in the trailers and his reputation, Thanos as a character has not been explored.

The Description of "He is powerful and just... like... The Worst" can only take you so far.

            I am sure that “Infinity War” would be a perfect place to explore him as a character, but considering that movie will have something like 40 heroes and a half dozen supporting villains to Thanos, there is not going to be enough time.  While I am confident of the Russo Brothers abilities to make a fun and entertaining movie, I can also envision this movie being the latest to have a villain that is powerful, built up, and ultimately a let down (see Malakith and Ronan for Further examples).

            Besides, having a movie from the perspective of a bad guy trying to pull off the creation of a literal doomsday weapon is cool.  I even know how you could structure the movie’s acts.

Act one (maybe even the prologue) being Thanos taking the Reality stone from the Collector.  Act two he battles the Nova Corp and kills Glenn Close’s Nova Prime, taking the Power stone.  The final act he confronts a cosmic being, it could be Galactus, the Living Tribunal, or Eon.

The cosmic being attacks Thanos on a personal level, delving into WHY Thanos is after the gems, and revealing that the cosmic entity is able to see into Purple Puss so completely because they have the previously unseen Soul stone.  Thanos is then given the Soul stone, because the cosmic being knows what Thanos will accomplish with it (inevitable failure because of Thanos canonical inferiority complex, not telling the audience this, they will be left thinking that even the god like celestial being has abandoned the universe to its fate).

Then you could move into “Infinity War” with the three remaining stones, Mind, Time, and Space on Earth (or the Asgard refugee ship in the case of the Space stone).  “We have one advantage,” says Tony Stark.  “We have what he wants, and we know that he is coming for it.”

Idea Number 2: Another thing about Marvel Movies

            Recently Fox Studios, the company that owned the movie rights to both the X-Men and the Fantastic Four were bought up by Disney, who at this point has almost reunited all of the Marvel IP under one production house.

            This is cool/terrifying news as more quality movies will be made with characters and premises that I like by a company that is insanely rich, powerful, and loved.  All hail Disney?

            Regardless I would like to draw your attention to the movie poster for “Avengers: Infinity War”.

More specifically I want you to pay attention to the shape of the “A” and the fact that it is kind of shaped a lot like a “4”.

I probably could have put more work into that "4"... But then again, Fox Studios could have too.

Add to that Marvel moved up the release date of the movie from its original May release date to April… the 4^th month.  And when they did so, the move was described as “Fantastic”.

That’s a FANTASTIC idea! Done.

Avengers: #InfinityWar in theaters everywhere April 27th. pic.twitter.com/n5JhJWpnqc

— Marvel Studios (@MarvelStudios) March 1, 2018

This is super thin conspiracy theory stuff… It is also totally something Marvel would do, because NERDS.

I mean, it is not like they are re releasing the comic too.
With star writer Dan Slott fresh from his career defining work on Spiderman.
I don't make too many predictions, and they are often wrong.

Idea Number 3: A short little comedy sketch

My brother and I have great conversations. I can see why we are so popular.

"How do you even get to be the world's greatest mime?" I asked.

"He was able to sit in an invisible chair," said my brother. "While propping his feet up on an invisible ottoman."

            "He's magic," I said.

            "Unfortunately, he died tragically young," my brother continued. "Cancer from smoking all those invisible cigarettes."

            "Invisible cancer," I replied. "Very hard to treat."

            I told this to my other friend a bit later and he added, “I'd love to go pay my respects, but his headstone is so hard to find.”

This is perhaps the world's most evil mime.  Perhaps.

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Idea Number 4: Domestic Terrorism

The FBI cornered a cowardly domestic terrorist the other day and the asshole blew himself up. When asked about this, the terrorist’s neighbor said, "I'm hoping that it's all over. It's crazy to think he lived right down the street. This is a really quiet neighborhood, like one of the safest cities to live in and it's insane that this guy lived here."

            Maybe it is just my brief time in law enforcement, but I never understand when people say things like this.  Where do these people think terrorists like this live? The moon? The space between spaces? Des Moines?

Idea Number 5: Violence in Video Games

In case you hadn't heard, the White House posted a video showcasing "Video Game Violence".

This is a stupid thing to do for a number of reasons, but I will point to only two of them... because I find these two to be funny.

First issue, most of these clips (I haven’t counted and sourced them all, I am eyeballing this) come from a series called "Call of Duty" which is a game series depicting Warfare. Aside from it being an occasionally fun series and extremely popular, it also encapsulates a strange pick for saying "Video Games are Violent" because the thesis statement of the whole series could boil down to "War is violent, GUNS are violent".

Second and sillier thing, one of the most notorious missions in the ENTIRE "Call of Duty" series is a mission called "No Russian", which is (of course) featured in the video.  In this mission an American operative is framed for a terrorist attack on a Russian airport.

So, and here is the funny part, Even President Trump's bone headed references to an industry he does not understand CONTAINS TIES TO RUSSIA.

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Predictions for Marvel Movies

            I occasionally make predictions about plot points, character moments, or jokes that will appear in Marvel movies because I have read a bunch of comics and a lot of media that was produced by the movie’s creative teams.  I especially like the “Language” joke from “Avengers: Age of Ultron”, though if it had been up to me I would have had it be more of a running gag, with Cap unironically asking others around him to not curse… but then being put into a situation that seems so hopeless or dangerous that he says “fuck” in a dissatisfied tone and everyone looks at him shocked, and he says something like, “Sometimes language is called for.  I was in the army.  I met Patton once.”  But the idea of the F-word ever making it into a Marvel production is the day I pilot a robot suit to battle the forces of evil.

            Regardless I have been seeing some patterns in the movies and I have two predictions I want to put out there so I can feel smug when I am proven right, or smug when people tell me my ideas would have been more interesting than what actually happened.  I was partially correct the last time I did this with X-Men, but not so much as to feel a sense of psychic link with the creative staff.  Maybe this time I will strike creative oil.

Prediction 1 (AKA, the least complicated one): “Guardians of the Galaxy 2”

            In the comics Drax has a daughter, the superhero known as Moondragon.  A bald psychic bi-sexual (those are seriously the three largest aspects of her persona) who has been an Avenger and a member of the super team Infinity Watch (a group that uses and protects the Infinity Stones, the things the Marvel movie universe has been about since Thanos showed up trying to get the blue cube in “Avengers”).

            In “Guardians of the Galaxy” Drax mentions that he had a family that was murdered by Ronan, but that Thanos was pulling the strings and was really responsible for his family’s deaths.  We also establish that Thanos has a habit of adopting the daughters of families he has murdered, both the bald blue psycho cyborg, Nebula and the mean green killing machine turned Guardian, Gamora were raised by Thanos to be agents of his murderous will.

I think that Moondragon is Drax’s daughter, she is alive, and I think that Thanos raised her to be his bald psychic evil servant.

We might also want to aim for a more dignified costume.

Tim Gunn has already talked about how he wants the next movie to be about fatherhood, “At its heart, Guardians is a story about families, and if the first film was about him and his mother,this is a story about fathers. So it's exciting to go there."  Which most have taken to mean the obvious, that we will meet Star Lord’s mysterious alien father, who will probably either be Adam Warlock (super hero leader of the Infinity Watch in the comics) or his father in the comics, J’Son of Spartax (leader of a space empire that is trying to incorporate Earth under his control to, presumably take control of its superhero population).
            But when you take all of the elements together, first meeting Star Lord’s father, then having Thanos be the villain (as he is Gamora’s father), and then having Drax meet his daughter whom he thought lost… that would be several strong parallels.  Then you have Groot say, "I am Groot" to break up this Maury Povich drama.

 

Sub-header: "Cause everyone saw the first one."

Prediction 2: “Avengers: Infinity War” parts 1 and 2

            The Infinity war involves the retrieval and use of the 6 Infinity Gems, each containing power over an abstract concept: Space, Time, Reality, Power, Mind, and Soul.  When assembled they create the Infinity Gauntlet, allowing for the wearer to control all of existence, Thanos manages this feat in the comic and kills half the universe, only being stopped by luck and stupidity.  There is a scene in which he kills all of the Avengers by hand.

A story in which Thor is turned to glass, Iron Man is decapitated, and Cyclopes is suffocated.

            We have so far seen 4 of the gems.  Space, which is the cube in “Captain America: The First Avenger” which killed the Red Skull, and then later showed up in “Avengers”, now it is currently in the vaults of Asgard.  Reality, which was used by the dark Elf Malakith in “Thor: The Dark World” and is currently in the Collector’s possession on Know-Where.  Power, used to destroy Ronan in “Guardians of the Galaxy”, and is currently under the protection of the Nova Corp on Xandar.  And lastly we have the Mind gem, used by Vision to finish off Ultron during “Avengers: The Age of Ultron”, it is on Earth in the possession of Vision.  The other two, Soul and Time will probably be introduced in “Doctor Strange” (Soul more than likely) and one of the other movies (“Black Panther”, “Captain Marvel”, or “Inhumans”… it could be any of them, though I am betting on Inhumans, having the ancient race of monster people transported thru time to modern day would be a good use of the gem).

            In each instance so far the gems have been used by or against villains and that has resulted in their destruction: Ultron, Malakith, Red Skull, and Ronan.  I predict this trend will continue with the other two gems.  I also predict that Thanos will get all 6 gems in the Gauntlet.  And lastly I predict that when the Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, Inhumans, and other heroes team up to fight Thanos… Thanos will use the Gauntlet to summon a team of bad guys to help him fight the heroes, those bad guys that were all killed by the gems will come back to fight the heroes.

Side note: STOP KILLING OFF ALL THE BAD GUYS.  There are lots of stories that can be told with them and you are shutting the doors too quickly.  Too many Iron Man villains are gone for good and it is a waste.

Red Skull will fight Cap but he will be more powerful, maybe he will teleport or have a hoard of Hydra goons to help.  Malakith will transform into one of those Super-Dark-Elf-Warriors that kicked Thor’s ass and only died because of Loki using a black hole grenade.  Ultron will be a swarm of robots made out of energy, or just one giant robot.  And Ronan will have a rematch with the Guardians using his massive hammer (maybe have Thor go hammer to hammer with him cause that would be fun).  Same for the other as of yet unknown bad guys.

 

"Okay, just so we are clear... Next step is to cross this over with Star Wars because money isn't going to print itself."

Bonus Prediction: “Avengers Infinity War” parts 1 and 2

            I do have another prediction.  In the comics Thanos has an advisor for how to use the Infinty Stones to greatest effect… The literal devil.  Mephisto, the Lord of Hell sits at Thanos’ right hand Grima Wormtongue style.  Since Mephisto doesn’t exist in the movies at this time I think that part will be played by a different character: LOKI!  Who at one point will try to gain control of the gauntlet, and one of two things will happen.  Either 1) Loki tries to use it but fails because he (as Agent Coulson put it), “Lacks conviction”.  Or 2) Loki actually does save the day and seeks acceptance from the Avengers and Thor specifically as a hero and worthy of being well regarded, which is what Loki has always wanted anyway.

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