Superhero Romantic Comedy

It was spoken about recently that the Gambit movie (that I am sure they are totally going to make and is in no way some strange shell game being played with investors) would have the tone of a romantic comedy.

Gambit has been a popular character with women for a while.  Feel free to correct me if I am wrong, not being a woman, I am not speaking from experience, I just recall Taylor Kitsch being mentioned as a positive of that god awful “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” film… and he barely did anything but look handsome and participate in a poorly executed fight.

Would this qualify as "smolder"?

What I am trying to say is, taking a character popular with women and marketing it as a genre popular with women seems like a smart move and a good way to again go outside the usual genre trappings that dominate superhero and science fiction media these days.

Honestly, I have kind of wanted something like this for a while.  I am going to explain what I mean and then I am going to share some sad movie news that relates.

Remember the dialogue in "Winter Soldier" with Black Widow trying to get Captain America to go on a date.  I kind of want that movie of Captain America going on a date.

Have Cap go out with someone he doesn't connect with because they are from different time periods.  A woman who grew up watching “She-Ra” and being able to participate in sports because of title 9 is going to be a lot to handle for a guy like Steve, who admittedly is exceptionally liberal for his time and whose 1 true love was an ace super spy.  They are not going to get the same pop culture references regardless of how much Marvin Gaye Captain America has been listening to.

After the date have him go on a short adventure as Captain America stopping a bank robbery by the Serpent Society, a group of snake themed villains who are colorful and have a simple gimmick, no need for a full on “Marvel Phase III” bad guy like Ego or Killmonger with complexity and shit.  Just goofy assholes who rob banks.

On the adventure have him meet Diamond Back, a villain he has had relationships with in the comics.  Have Cap connect with her via dialogue, witty repartee, film their fight scene like a sex scene (a trick Del Toro used for the bow staff fight scene in “Pacific Rim”), and ultimately have Cap let her get away because he was charmed by the adventure and attraction.

Insert scenes of Cap, Bucky, and Falcon eating Po boy sandwiches and talking about the confrontation.  Have the realization being that he can't connect to normal people anymore because the world he grew up in (his normal) doesn't exist, all of his relationships are going to be ones he has via being Captain America.  That is a cool revelation to make about your hero and his mental state.

This sort of story can work as a "Romancing the Stone" style fun adventure film and I WANT IT!
NOT EVERY MOVIE NEEDS THE PLANET EXPLODING!

I want movies about everyday lives of superheroes too.  And not just Spiderman and Antman, because most of there stuff amounts to, “The world is once again stomping on my neck.”

Sad News

Saw this on twitter, and I have a nagging suspicion that it means my idea for a movie is never going to happen.

Officially wrapped on Avengers 4. It was an emotional day to say the least. Playing this role over the last 8 years has been an honor. To everyone in front of the camera, behind the camera, and in the audience, thank you for the memories! Eternally grateful.

— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) October 4, 2018

Well, he had to leave the role at some point.  Chris Evens strikes me as a really great guy and from what he puts out on twitter… He might actually be one more injustice away from taking to the rooftops and fighting crime for real.

I hope he continues to be an entertaining presence in movies.

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5 Quick Movie Reviews and #RehireJamesGunn

I recently went on vacation.  It was nice.  Kind of reset my brain from a state of complacency.  I want to write more about it, but I am out of practice writing things that have depth because of work eating up all my time.  Really, my ability to write things with depth is frequently few and far between.

Rather than try to jabber out thoughts on this topic, I thought instead to just talk about and easy topic, the variety of movies I watched on the plane over and back from Europe.  Watching these on a plane is really the only scenario in which I would watch them.

1) Rampage: I like Dwayne Johnson, pretty much everyone does.  He is in a lot of god awful movies and this is not an exception.  While there is plenty of fun things in this, and I must say, that alligator monster is one of the most intimidating things I have seen in a movie, overall this is a really dumb, over explained, really dumb, and kind of too long movie.

2) (Cock) Blockers: I was shocked at how much I enjoyed this movie.  The dialogue is funny, the subversion of the whole teen boner comedy thing is funny, sure there are instances of goofy gross out humor that did not hit with me, but it hit far more than it missed and had much more heart to it than I was prepared for.

3) A Quiet Place: This is another one in which the sum of the parts are greater than the whole.  Individual sequences and character moments and motivations work for me, especially a scene in which they fall into a corn silo, and there is some great planting and payoff for everything that makes it all hang together.  Unfortunately, I am one of those guys for which the ludicrousness of the premise drags the movie down.  I am sorry, it is just too silly a premise for my brain.  I liked it in spite of that, I guess, but that kept it from working for me entirely.

4) Game Night: Being that playing games with friends is one of the core sources of fun in my life, and that being an exasperated white guy with a brother who is more likable than me… It is really like this movie was made for me.  I wish I had a Rachel McAdams in my life.  I liked this movie a lot, even tho the plane was showing the cut for content version with most of the cursing removed.

5) Justice League: I hated it the least of all the DC movies so far and kind of wish it was an even more aggressive reboot of the franchise.  In fact, I wish it had been the first movie in the whole universe… Kind of.  Since these characters are more recognizable than the Marvel Heroes (or were 12 years ago) they could have started with this movie, had them allude to some event that killed Superman and how it was kind of Batman’s fault, have all the League members off doing their own thing (but have it that everyone knows each other already).
Then have the plot be Batman bringing them back together to fight the coming super monster, resurrecting Superman with alien space magic along the way.  As is, the movie is a slog of people over explaining everything, a really terrible backstory to the villain and the mother boxes, and it being too fucking long.  I could write a whole thing about this… Maybe I will.

Other movie crap that was brought to my attention was that James Gunn, a writer I would consider a personal hero, because of how diverse, colorful, and meaningful his work is, GOT FUCKING FIRED BY DISNEY from working on “Guardians of the Galaxy” a franchise made great in large part because of his creative voice guiding it.
This was pretty universally seen as a bad move by Disney.  The full details of what went down, in case you don’t know involve a targeted harassment campaign against Gunn by a group of online Nazi-Trolls, who dug thru the writers substantial backlog of shock humor nonsense and pretended to be offended by the off-color jokes to provoke Disney to fire Gunn.  The Nazis won in this instance.

Being that Gunn was hired years ago now and all of this material has been in the public eye for longer (for example of how shocking his work can get, he wrote an incest parody of Romeo and Juliet for the schlock film company Troma, called “Tromeo and Juliet”) the fact that Disney acted on this now after Gunn had worked on multiple films that had each earned more than $800 million… This seems pretty fucking stupid and random.
People who aren’t stupid and don’t want Nazis to win took to Twitter with the #RehireJamesGunn logo and it is kind of working.  The cast and crew on the films are rebelling against the change, Disney has delayed production on the 3rd film in the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise (A SUPER PROFITABLE AND POPULAR PART OF THE MEGA MARVEL FILM FRANCHISE).

I do not know how this will shake out, obviously I hope it goes in a certain direction.  But for the sake of mental exercise I tried to figure out which unlucky bastard might get stuck with the director chair after all of this is over if Gunn is not rehired.

1) Taika Waititi brought the Thor mythos very much in line with the Guardians look/feel, and we could see Korg and Meek in the Guardians.  This seems like a fun swerve and I think that Taika could say something with the Guardians franchise in much the same way he and the rest of the creative staff said something with “Thor Ragnorok”.

2) Joss Whedon could do it, I mean, "Serenity" was about a team of outlaws on a spaceship saving the day, he has worked with Marvel before on multiple occasions and when given the freedom of the goofy and colorful outer space setting that Marvel seems okay with crazy shit happening in I think the burdensome production difficulties of “Age of Ultron” would be forgotten.

3) Jon Favreau is a frequent executive producer on Marvel stuff still and is comfortable with CGI stuff ("The Jungle Book" and “The Lion King”).  Much like Whedon he has worked on multiple successful projects and would be given more creative freedom, that can be a big benefit.  He might also like the chance to play a space character… Probably the Champion of the Universe because of Jon’s love of Boxing.

4) Rian Johnson could direct, the last space movie he made for Disney made a billion dollars, and assholes haven’t stopped talking about it since then.  That will get movie twitter gabbing about things.

5) Patty Jenkins would be an interesting person to steal away from Warner Brothers.  She directed Wonder Woman, a movie I disliked but that had good production values, I would love to see her introduce any number of characters to the series.  AND fun fact, she was in consideration to direct “Thor the Dark World” and her not getting the role is why Natalie Portman decided to not come back… So, maybe have Jane Foster show up in Guardians having built her own wormhole machine?

6) Andy Serkis has been trying to direct more and could do stuff with mo-cap for some fantastic creatures.  He has worked with Marvel in Black Panther as Klaue.  Having him put together a cast for the Guardians fighting the High Evolutionary and an army of Animal-Men sort of a space variation of “The Island of Doctor Moreau” sounds cool.

Regardless of what likable and creative person they grab, and what interesting story or creative voices that allows them to explore it will still have this shit hanging over it.  It is sad.

That basically wraps up my random movie thoughts.  Again, this is just a practice/warm up for writing something more substantive in the future, so, take this disposable morass for what it is, mental junk food.

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Why the "Venom" Movie Trailer is Bad

            Another new trailer dropped for the “Venom” movie has dropped.  And the half second of Venom being Venom looks… like Venom.

The first trailer (which was admittedly worse) just showed Tom Hardy flipping out and precisely none of the Venom character fully realized.  It was crap.  That being said it left its audience with some hope that Venom would be cool once they worked everything out.  I have no idea what the line of reasoning was there.  Probably, “we haven’t worked out any of the visual effects yet,” but that is all speculation.

This latest trailer dispels 90% of those hopes.  While I think that the final image of the character LOOKS fine… The rest is rather garbage.  The CGI tendrils look shoddy at best, the liquid effects are stiff, and most of what makes the character interesting (and oh boy am I being charitable with the word “interesting”) those traits are gone.

            Rather than talk about the trailer exclusively, let’s talk a bit about the character of Venom, and why it is inexplicable that he is as popular as he is.

Venom: The Character

            Venom was created by Todd MacFarlane during his tenure on Spiderman, years prior to his creation of the character “SPAWN” and completely unveiling how much of an asshole he really was, this was done along with writer David Michelinie, who as far as I can tell is a perfectly nice guy.

            The basic premise of Venom is that Eddie Brock, a coworker and rival of Peter Parker at the Daily Bugle comes in contact with an alien creature called a symbiote, which was used and then cast off by Spider-Man when he stimulated the hero to be more and more violent.

The symbiote bonds with a host granting a telepathic link between them and granting the host a slew of powers.  This gestalt being needs to ingest certain proteins to remain functional and thrives off of negative emotions which acts as a drug.  Eating people is a good source for both of these things.

            Initially, Eddie and the Symbiote came together and targeted Spider-Man because he was the enemy of both Eddie (via Peter) and the alien (via not wanting to bond with it thru greater acts of violence).  Eddie, not realizing the emotional high of violence and the desire to “Eat Spider-Man’s brains” were coming from the symbiote allowed himself to be taken in by it.

            Being seduced to give into your petty bullshit by a demonic blackness that lives inside of you is pretty good symbolism.

Venom: The Appeal

            Venom is a fascinating case in that he is a garbage human being.  Eddie Brock is a muscle head and bully who blames others for his short comings and sees the success of others like Peter Parker as not just an affront to his masculinity, but a cheat.  Thinking something to the effect of, “Peter can’t possibly be better at his job than I am, he must be sabotaging me”.

            What is more, Eddie is uncreative.  His whole plan for fighting Spiderman is to mimic the look, behavior, and powers of his enemy, BUT EVIL!  That is lame.  In the long tradition of villains being a dark reflection of the hero (Joker, Red Skull, Lex Luthor, Doctor Doom) Venom is a shell.  He hates Spider-Man not because of a philosophical reason, he hates him out of pure petty ego and… gluttony on the part of the alien monster.  His look is JUST a dark reflection, he himself is not a reflection of anything on a conscious level.  And for the reader, Eddie is the jock, Peter is the nerd.  Wow.  Such a dichotomy. 

That is lame.  Venom is lame.

            Why the hell is this character so popular?  I am sure it has something to do with the same surface level appreciation that allows “Ghost Rider” to keep appearing on t-shirts, but really the concept KIND OF works.

There are a lot of shirts of this guy.  LOTS!

            If you take for granted that Eddie Brock is an uncreative, stupid, petty, insecure, and intemperate dipshit then you can kind of see a good metaphor for the suit.  He is a petulant asshole who dresses up like an evil version of Spiderman to act out against people who haven’t done anything to him, but he never the less sees as a threat to his masculinity.  He is physically what every loser “Men’s Rights Activist” with a superhero web handle is online.

            It rings deeper still.  That the violence is a drug that fills in his emotional weakness, and that the monster fills the emptiness in him, he is not lonely or judged as a thug and fool by people he looks down on as not being his macho ideal.  The monster goo doesn’t judge him, it loves him for who he is.  As a violent jerkoff.

Venom: The Adaptation

            So, why does this movie look like shit?  I mean, aside from the bad special effects I am hoping they will fix in post.  Because in this movie Eddie isn’t a brain-dead asshole, he is a crusading reporter fighting for the little guy.  What is more, there is no Spider-Man to be seen.  The core concepts of the character are gone, and the motivation to look the way he does is gone.  What is left?

I have already seen "Wassup"parodies in memes

            The image of Venom presented is that of a big monster, and a guy bonding with that monster to fight for what’s “right” except that isn’t true either.  We are now in a situation where the monster is just compelling a good guy to do bad and the good guy is trying to aim the monster to do “good”.  Eddie isn’t (ostensibly) slaved to any sort of drive like loneliness or drug abuse that the symbiote can help with, he is not getting anything out of interacting with the monster except powers that are completely out of his control, “Why did we do that” is a line in the trailer.  Eddie is just a victim of circumstance and anyone could wear the monster skin, which potato peels off another slice of characterization.

            You have, with this movie, taken the Venom out of Venom on all but the MOST superficial level.  You don’t need those elements by the way.  The idea of some guy getting infected with a lovecraftian ooze monster that gives him a sense of belonging and emotional fullness while at the same time compelling him to hurt people is… Basically the mythology of werewolves where you get down to it.  Or for a recent example, “Split”.

            As a merging of elements from Spiderman’s life as a superhero and his life as a reporter, Venom served as a potentially great badguy.  Much like Lizard, Doctor Octopus, and Green Goblin, Venom was a person who had a personal report with Peter beyond being a bank robber with some gadgets or an animal theme.  Venom could become greyer in the black and white morality of the world.  People can change, Eddie could change.

Venom: The Conclusion

            All they have done by calling this movie “Venom” is invite unflattering comparisons.  But maybe I am being too harsh.  Tom Hardy is a good actor who has to put some thought into the parts he chooses to play.  What other instance can you think of where a popular actor did a superhero movie divorced from its core mythology while bearing (at best) a superficial resemblance to the character?

Oh... Yeah...

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5 Random Thoughts

            I had 5 random thoughts over the course of the last couple weeks and rather than just let them float away because I couldn’t work them into anything larger I figured I would just slap them down here to hammer at them a bit.  In order of complexity.

Idea Number 1: Talking about Marvel Movies

            Marvel should have made a “Thanos” movie before they did “Avengers: Infinity War”.  Aside from being a constant looming threat for years and clearly being super powerful from what is shown in the trailers and his reputation, Thanos as a character has not been explored.

The Description of "He is powerful and just... like... The Worst" can only take you so far.

            I am sure that “Infinity War” would be a perfect place to explore him as a character, but considering that movie will have something like 40 heroes and a half dozen supporting villains to Thanos, there is not going to be enough time.  While I am confident of the Russo Brothers abilities to make a fun and entertaining movie, I can also envision this movie being the latest to have a villain that is powerful, built up, and ultimately a let down (see Malakith and Ronan for Further examples).

            Besides, having a movie from the perspective of a bad guy trying to pull off the creation of a literal doomsday weapon is cool.  I even know how you could structure the movie’s acts.

Act one (maybe even the prologue) being Thanos taking the Reality stone from the Collector.  Act two he battles the Nova Corp and kills Glenn Close’s Nova Prime, taking the Power stone.  The final act he confronts a cosmic being, it could be Galactus, the Living Tribunal, or Eon.

The cosmic being attacks Thanos on a personal level, delving into WHY Thanos is after the gems, and revealing that the cosmic entity is able to see into Purple Puss so completely because they have the previously unseen Soul stone.  Thanos is then given the Soul stone, because the cosmic being knows what Thanos will accomplish with it (inevitable failure because of Thanos canonical inferiority complex, not telling the audience this, they will be left thinking that even the god like celestial being has abandoned the universe to its fate).

Then you could move into “Infinity War” with the three remaining stones, Mind, Time, and Space on Earth (or the Asgard refugee ship in the case of the Space stone).  “We have one advantage,” says Tony Stark.  “We have what he wants, and we know that he is coming for it.”

Idea Number 2: Another thing about Marvel Movies

            Recently Fox Studios, the company that owned the movie rights to both the X-Men and the Fantastic Four were bought up by Disney, who at this point has almost reunited all of the Marvel IP under one production house.

            This is cool/terrifying news as more quality movies will be made with characters and premises that I like by a company that is insanely rich, powerful, and loved.  All hail Disney?

            Regardless I would like to draw your attention to the movie poster for “Avengers: Infinity War”.

More specifically I want you to pay attention to the shape of the “A” and the fact that it is kind of shaped a lot like a “4”.

I probably could have put more work into that "4"... But then again, Fox Studios could have too.

Add to that Marvel moved up the release date of the movie from its original May release date to April… the 4^th month.  And when they did so, the move was described as “Fantastic”.

That’s a FANTASTIC idea! Done.

Avengers: #InfinityWar in theaters everywhere April 27th. pic.twitter.com/n5JhJWpnqc

— Marvel Studios (@MarvelStudios) March 1, 2018

This is super thin conspiracy theory stuff… It is also totally something Marvel would do, because NERDS.

I mean, it is not like they are re releasing the comic too.
With star writer Dan Slott fresh from his career defining work on Spiderman.
I don't make too many predictions, and they are often wrong.

Idea Number 3: A short little comedy sketch

My brother and I have great conversations. I can see why we are so popular.

"How do you even get to be the world's greatest mime?" I asked.

"He was able to sit in an invisible chair," said my brother. "While propping his feet up on an invisible ottoman."

            "He's magic," I said.

            "Unfortunately, he died tragically young," my brother continued. "Cancer from smoking all those invisible cigarettes."

            "Invisible cancer," I replied. "Very hard to treat."

            I told this to my other friend a bit later and he added, “I'd love to go pay my respects, but his headstone is so hard to find.”

This is perhaps the world's most evil mime.  Perhaps.

            (Links go to our Twitter handles.  Follow us for more quality content… Not really.)

Idea Number 4: Domestic Terrorism

The FBI cornered a cowardly domestic terrorist the other day and the asshole blew himself up. When asked about this, the terrorist’s neighbor said, "I'm hoping that it's all over. It's crazy to think he lived right down the street. This is a really quiet neighborhood, like one of the safest cities to live in and it's insane that this guy lived here."

            Maybe it is just my brief time in law enforcement, but I never understand when people say things like this.  Where do these people think terrorists like this live? The moon? The space between spaces? Des Moines?

Idea Number 5: Violence in Video Games

In case you hadn't heard, the White House posted a video showcasing "Video Game Violence".

This is a stupid thing to do for a number of reasons, but I will point to only two of them... because I find these two to be funny.

First issue, most of these clips (I haven’t counted and sourced them all, I am eyeballing this) come from a series called "Call of Duty" which is a game series depicting Warfare. Aside from it being an occasionally fun series and extremely popular, it also encapsulates a strange pick for saying "Video Games are Violent" because the thesis statement of the whole series could boil down to "War is violent, GUNS are violent".

Second and sillier thing, one of the most notorious missions in the ENTIRE "Call of Duty" series is a mission called "No Russian", which is (of course) featured in the video.  In this mission an American operative is framed for a terrorist attack on a Russian airport.

So, and here is the funny part, Even President Trump's bone headed references to an industry he does not understand CONTAINS TIES TO RUSSIA.

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Captain America's Leadership

I have talked about previously the difficulty in writing complex legal questions for comics.  The idea of applying laws and philosophical conundrums to a world of super powered beings can break down really quickly, if magic, super science, ancient myth, and Hell can all be demonstrated to exist and multiple handheld objects have the power to destroy the universe the idea of a superhero registry sound kind of silly.  See my blog about the issues I had with Marvel’s “Civil War” comic for more on that.  (I should get around to writing a review of the movie at some point, I liked it, but kind of have more to say.)

Right now, I want to talk about an issue I have with Captain America.  Not the inexplicable Nazism that is in the foreground of the comics, but the issue of Leadership.  Captain Rodger’s skill as a leader is an ability we as readers are often told about, but we are rarely shown this ability, and this is for the simple reason that it is hard to show someone being a leader.  It is hard for writers to show leadership beyond characters yelling for other characters to do obvious things.

They have solved this leadership chestnut in the movies by-the-by, Cap has plans, he leads by example, and he is able to have mature forthright discussions with his friends, allies, protégés, and normal people in such a way that feels natural and reassuring.  The sort of thing you would want from a leader that is both from a bygone era (WWII) and yet still possess youthful energy and takes an outsider perspective on things (he was frozen).

My issue with Cap in the comics (and other leadership characters) can be summed up in this image.

I don't know who wrote this comic.
I do not know who made this inspirational poster.
I would link them if I did.  Even though I am calling them shit.

In this image, Captain America is telling Thor, the 1,000-year-old warrior prince, mightiest warrior from an interstellar race of warriors, champion and veteran of 1,000's of fights and battles to put out a fire using his most notorious ability as a storm god.  Captain America is pointless here and this does not show leadership, it shows him as a micromanager of his colleges.

Leadership is not telling people the bloody obvious in an authoritative tone.

Leadership is not having a striking profile.

This is not Charisma.

This is Lame.

The problem I have with that is that it short shifts the others on the team.  Iron Man has led his own team, so does Thor, so has Hawkeye, so has Widow, Wasp, Black Panther.  And they all have their own style.

Tony has a sit down with people and discusses issues, like management of a business would.  Widow mostly keeps her teammates in the dark about her thought process and instead internalizes their behaviors so that she knows how they will react when she acts.  Wasp is personable and coaxes people’s best out of them via encouragement and friendship.  Leadership is a complex concept.  Let me show you an instance of Captain America being a charismatic leader.

 

Click to enlarge.  Make a small effort to infer what is going on from context.

In this scene, he has been physically dominated by the deranged super soldier codenamed: Nuke (he is a character in the “Jessica Jones” Netflix series, but without the face tattoo).  Captain America appeals to the deeper philosophical underpinnings that define both he and Nuke’s roles in the world.  He identifies the illogical break from the nobler intentions that has led Nuke astray, and explains to him why he has been duped and why he should calm down and rethink his course.

It is not a perfect scene.  I actually wanted to juxtapose this with Wonder Woman being a great teacher/leader that I saw elsewhere but since her movie is out googling that character results in nothing but a torrent of inspirational stills from the movie coupled with people saying some variation of “best thing ever” which is fucking meaningless for this discussion.

My point is, being a leader has less to do with Captain America’s tactical acumen.  The scene in “Avengers” where he orders the police to better positions to fight off the alien invasion is cute, but a better illustration of who he is and what he does can be found in “Captain America: Civil War” when he talks to Scarlet Witch after Crossbones suicide bombs innocent people and they inexplicably blame her for it.  It is cool, reassuring, and touches on what she needs to hear at that moment.  Much like Hawkeye’s mini speech in “Avengers: Age of Ultron” or Yondu saying nearly anything in “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2”.

I don’t know what else to say.  Maybe this, don’t write leader characters as the guy who just tells everyone else what to do.  Write leaders as people who get the best out of those they work with.

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My thoughts on "Avengers: Age of Ultron"

            A whole that is not as great as the sum of its parts.  Really ironic all things considered.  Much like my issues with “The Amazing Spiderman 2” this seems more like multiple scripts put together as there is stuff that just does not have to be in there.  Since this is one of the most watched movies of the year and came out months and months ago I feel comfortable talking about numerous issues at once and will be moving between them freely, kind of like how I reviewed “X-Men: Days of Future Past” (which also had a robot apocalypse as its plot… and it’s sequel will have an Apocalypse apocalypse).  There are SPOILERS thru out this review and that cannot be avoided.

            Why is Ultron Magneto?  In the comics Magneto has three children: a green haired woman with magnet powers, Polaris; a silver haired guy with super speed, Quicksilver (Pietro); and a red headed magic user, Scarlet Witch (Wanda).  In the comics all of Magneto’s children realize that he is dangerous and join superhero teams to thwart him, Polaris joins the X-Men while Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch join the Avengers.  In this movie, Ultron talks frequently about evolution, humanity’s need to change, and talks to Wanda and Pietro in terms of being rejected.  Their ultimately turning against Ultron makes him act very hurt and betrayed.  There is also a scene of Ultron using magnetic powers to pull and toss Iron Man.  I feel like this script would have worked better with Magneto in the role of Ultron… Or they should have done away with Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver.

            Wanda and Pietro are kind of useless to the narrative.  They are colorful goons for Ultron and they ultimately turn to heroes when they see how he wants to kill everyone, but their role in the story could have just been played by Vision.  Have Ultron create Vision after escaping Avenger’s tower and he fills the same role in the story as Wanda, using the mind gem to drive all the Avenger’s into strange VISIONS of their own nightmares and turning the Hulk into a rampaging monster in Africa.  As the movie continues have Vision be defeated by Thor, have Ultron carry him off and put him into that pod, the movie could then continue mostly unchanged, as the Avengers capture the pod, download Jarvis into it, rewriting Vision as a good guy.

            Thor’s side quest to be shirtless in a pool of water was a waste of screen time, by having him fight Vision or Ultron in the middle of the movie (like I talked about in the previous paragraph) he would have been put to better use.

Though Marvel might have it in his contract that they must have a shirtless scene with Hemsworth.  The man lives on nothing but white rice and lean chicken for months at a time, have to make the most of that.

            While having Wanda and Pietro in the movie was unnecessary but if they had been taken out we would have missed out on the best scene in the movie, Hawkeye being the team’s dad figure.

            “Hey, look at me.  It’s your fault, it’s everyone’s fault, who cares?  Are you up for this?  Are you?  Look, I need to know because the city is flying.  Okay?  The city is flying, we are fighting an army of robots, and I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense.  But, I am going back out there because it is my job. Okay?  And I can’t do my job and baby sit.  It doesn’t matter what you did or where you were.  If you go out there,you fight.  And you fight to kill.  Stay in here, you’re good.  I’ll send your brother to come find you.  But if you step out that door, you are an Avenger.”

            I can picture in my mind a younger version of Clint giving a similar speech to a younger version of Black Widow, saying instead, “You step out that door you are a SHIELD agent.”  And contextualizing that speech and what we know about how he has a family you can picture him using he skills as a field operative as a dad, and his skills as a dad in the field.  He greatly deepens his character.

            Tony Stark is TOTALLY CORRECT in trying to create Ultron. Captain America is ENTIRELY WRONG in trying to stop it.  Earth is under threat of alien invasion at all times and since Thor refuses to let Earth utilize the Tesseract (Cosmic Cube) to build ray guns and other super weapons, Earth will be at a hopeless disadvantage should a full fleet of alien ships come and attack.  Constructing a legion of robots that are capable of repelling such an eminent threat should be a top priority before it shows up again, waiting until the attack comes is not a winning strategy, and relying entirely on the Avengers to protect Earth is a foolish decision on the part of Captain America, and one he should in no way be in charge of making as he is a tactical genius, not a strategic one.  We cannot count on Thor and Asgard to protect us from someone like Ronan or Malakith, who were only defeated by the slimmest of margins.

            Vision is awesome.  I like his look, I like Paul Bettany in the role, I like how Jarvis became Vision, the only problem I have with Vision is that he was not in more of the movie.

            This movie is too long, especially the action scenes which often go on for such a long time that I start to get bored by them, which is a shame because they are all so good, that had they each been the final highlight fight of another movie I feel they would have worked better.  By the time we get to the flying city I am so tired from all the action that the whole final act drags for me.

            Unfortunately Hulk and Black Widow’s romantic subplot does not get enough time.  I saw it in the first movie more than most people (for some reason people thought Hawkeye and her, but I never saw that, do those people just not have friends of the opposite sex?)  And since they are both living weapons as a result of outside forces compelling them to become such monstrous things I think they make a good match to one another narratively.

            I would also like to point out and underline: TONY DID NOT CREATE ULTRON.  He and Bruce were not in the room when the machine switched itself on.  The OS they were using to create Ultron was taken from Loki’s scepter, which in turn was (most likely) created by Thanos.  Thanos is in love with Death, and the idea that the software he used for the scepter would be an artificial intelligence bent on omnicide makes sense.  Sure Ultron was the name of the robot legion Tony wanted to create, but it is pretty clear Thanos was the guy who got the ball rolling on all of this.  Just like you can’t blame Hulk for being mind-controlled to rampage, you can’t blame Tony because his robots were high jacked by a killer alien computer (especially because he left it turned off).

For some reason this has become the most used image of Ultron afterword.
Which just looks like he is about to give the audience the finger.

            Pepper Potts and Jane Foster should have made guest appearances in this movie.  What is the problem?  The script is already bloated but you don’t have time for existing valuable supporting characters?  Just drop hints that they might get their own powers because in the comics they both end up doing just that.  Pepper gets a suit of armor and becomes Rescue, a super hero who specializes in fighting natural disasters.  Jane gains the ability to wield Mjolnir and becomes THOR, while Thor becomes Odinson… Which is stupid on several levels as his name is Thor, but whatever.

            As I mentioned in my Predictions for future Marvel movies, I do not think Vision destroyed Ultron, and instead Ultron is trapped in the Mind Gem on Vision’s forehead.

Score: 6/10

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Movies of 2014, Top Films (3, 2, and 1)

            I originally thought to give each of these there own blog comparing them to other movies I like, but realized that I did not want to give in depth descriptions of each of them, I just preferred people to go watch and enjoy them, which I think most people have in the case of two of them.  So I will just recommend them.  Even going so far as to tell people to buy them.

 #3

This actually has a really good visual to it, the main character split between two worlds.

The Boxtrolls (I am not linking to the trailer because the trailer is rubbish)

            I do not know why this movie specifically spoke to me at the level it did.  I do have some theories though.

            1) It has coherent themes and messages... as the most communist film I have seen in recent memory.  There is a class of tinkerers who lack a voice in the political system being oppressed and labeled as monsters by the villain who is trying to climb a social ladder that shouldn't exist and does nothing to help society.  As I do think a lot of the issues in society come both from a lack of social mobility and a failure to listen to the needs and concerns of the working class this is a good message.

            2) I absolutely love stop motion animation.  This goes back to me talking about Gimmicks in my review of "Birdman".  I fully acknowledge that using 3D puppets and stop motion animation as opposed to CGI is perhaps the more time consuming option and is definitely a style choice.  BUT, THESE ARE PEOPLE MAKING REAL TOYS COME TO LIFE.  My brain marvels at this, and the fluidity of movement in this movie makes it look like people in suits some of the time, and the number of figures on screen all moving at once is dazzling.  This is a gimmick that in theory adds nothing because you could use CGI, but at the same time I appreciate it a lot.  I can't rectify this with my usual stances on things, but I point to this little interview with Quentin Tarantino about the magic of film, the illusion of movement is part of the magic that this movie uses to entice the audience.

            3) The world itself is cool and imaginary without being so outside the norm as to be distracting from the story and characters.  A steam punk city, an economy based around cheese, the whole thing built on the side of a mountain (everybody must have spectacular calf muscles), and a storm sewer filled with gadget loving trolls (pettiest of gripes, these are not Trolls in the strictest crypto-zoological sense, they are goblins, kind of the inverse of the movie "Troll 2" having only goblins on screen, but there they correctly identified them as goblins).

            4) The humor.  While there is a lot of physical comedy and bug eating, much of the humor has to do with word play, puns, and comedy of manners type interaction.  How does the boy raised by monsters fair in a formal setting?  (I got a lot of "Tarzan" vibes off of this story, but trolls instead of apes).  How does the gentry spend the city's money?  (There is one asshole who really needed to die by the end of this movie).  Why is everything named after dairy products?  It is strange but funny.

            Honestly I can see this movie not appealing to many, and its marketing is terrible.  I would never have seen this movie if I had not happened to have a class canceled while they were screening it at the campus theater.  And I imagine few people will seek it out, but please do if you can, I feel it is a very strong film that should be watched.

Overall: 10/10

#2

Fun fact, that opening spoken bit from Eminem's "Rap God" are from a Captain America comic.  (Poster)

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

            I love Captain America.  Too often today the main character of a story is a high functioning psychopath, autistic, alcoholic, or flawed and damaged in non-specific ways... and that is fine, but it gets to the point where I am tired of seeing flawed protagonists fighting villains who are only marginally more violent or irresponsible than the hero.  Captain America is the inverse of that.

            Captain America is a completely good guy.  He is smart, strong, kind, and is the first to try and offer support to those in need.  He uses his might for right rather than might making right.  His villains are great, twisted extrapolations of the ideals he fought for in the last movie.  Yeah, WWII required a lot of killing before it resolved, but the Nazi's had actually been killing lots of people and invading countries with the intent to kill more.  This movie points out how using insane levels of military superiority to kill people because they fit a profile of someone who might do harm is madness.  "That is not freedom, it's fear."

            It is almost like these themes are super topical and directly speak to the culture we live in.  The militarization of police, the use of drone air superiority... RACIAL PROFILING.  Thank god they got such a great black actor to play the best interpretation of Falcon ever, his presence makes this films team of Secret Avengers (you could have called the movie that) with Cap, Widow, Falcon, Agent Hill, and Nick Fury the most diverse superhero team so far appearing in a Marvel film (discounting the inclusion of Raccoons and Groots).

            Like I said while reviewing "X-Men: Days of Future Past" both films deal with the use of drones to attack remarkable people who could upset those in power, imposing order on a world that resists such impositions.  The stakes are huge in this the villains competent, powerful, and far reaching.  This movie has fantastic scope and intelligence to how it handles its material.  But strangely it also ties into a bad movie I saw some time ago, "GI Joe: Retaliation" a movie which has a criminal terrorist organization seize control of the government, hunting the heroes, all so they can gain control of an orbital weapon.  In "GI Joe" the bad guys are ultimately defeated, but only after 20+ million people were killed by a weapon strike on London.  So I guess it is a good thing Cap was around for this one cause apparently "GI Joe" has proven to be pretty terrible as a franchise.  Gods bless America.

            Strangely (considering I give number rating to things) I tend not to compare movies to one another in my mind.  I don't really like ranking things because different movies are trying for different things.  "Starship Troopers" is a fantastic science fiction movie parodying the military... But it is a terrible western.  "Silence of the Lambs" is an intriguing psychological thriller, but is a terrible romantic comedy.  Unless two movies try to do similar things with similar characters then comparing them is sort of a disservice to those who made them.  Comparing "Batman" to "The Dark Knight" is fair, comparing "Forgetting Sarah Marshal" to "Apocalypse Now" is not fair or logical.  The reason I bring this up is because I do think it is fair to rank the Marvel movies against one another.  Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man are all in the same universe, made by the same studio, and have many of the same themes and tones.  So when I tell you "Captain America: The Winter Soldier" is my favorite marvel movie, that information should carry some interesting weight.  I think this movie is the current high mark for subject matter and character dynamics that can be explored in a Marvel film while still doing the doomsday action scene to the T.  I loved this movie.  And as cheesy as this reads, I much like Falcon standing in his kitchen after handing his file to Cap, I feel like I wanted to help.  How could I refuse?  "Captain America needs my help".

            So I guess I am asking you to find a veteran service, free speech defense fund, and (considering he only did in real life what Black Widow did in the movie) re-evaluate Edward Snowden and the role of government in our lives.  Is what is happening around us Freedom?  Or Fear?

Overall: 10/10

My Movie of the Year 

Can "cake" be a visual motif?

The Grand Budapest Hotel

            I can't really describe myself as a fan of Wes Anderson.  Mostly it has to do with Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller showing up in his movies and I generally dislike them (they have their moments but mostly... bleh).  But I like his characterization, his blending of styles, the artistry, the weirdness.  Much like "The Boxtrolls" this movie has a strange world filled with characters bordering on being magical.  The humor is smart.  The costuming is cool.  Everything fits together so well that... I don't have any complaints.  None.  Everything about this movie works for me on all levels.

            A long while back I explained that my favorite movie was "Fight Club" (though my brother said that blog was hard to read and very round about to the conclusion).  "Fight Club" is also a movie free of criticism from me.  But I also feel that "Fight Club" appeals to a part of my brain that I am growing away from.  I first encountered the movie when I was 16 and it appealed to a very angry part of my mindset.  "Fuck the man, fuck the machine, fuck the world, I will hit it all in the face until it is unrecognizable..."  But nowadays, while I am still angry about the bad things in the world (including Starbucks) there is a stronger aspect to my personality taking over... My desire to be a part of the best parts of the world.

            Gustav H. (Ray Fiennes) The star of "The Grand Budapest Hotel" stands in direct contrast to Tyler Durden.  Gustav gives speeches to his staff on how to be better at their jobs, and to derive enjoyment from their jobs, to take pride in themselves and who they are.  Tyler gives speeches on why we are nothing, why we are dirt, why we are violent and base, and encourages us to break the system and break from our jobs.  Gustav dresses up and wears perfume.  Tyler doesn't wear a shirt or shoes so as to more effectively grapple people.  Gustav quotes poetry (I actually recognized the first poem he quoted in the movie, the moment I knew I would like the movie).  Tyler splices pornography into family films.

            I definitely have a dark side that makes me want to hit things, that makes me frustrated and angry at the world and the hollowness that is everywhere.... BUT I STILL LIKE STUFF.  I want to live and excel at being a good person who helps his friends and loved ones, and take pride in being the best at what they do and ultimately gets rewarded for it, but still takes real risks for the sake of those around him.  So, "The Grand Budapest Hotel" is replacing "Fight Club" as my favorite movie, though like I said before, comparing these two is a study in contrasting styles, tones and themes.  I am not diminishing "Fight Club" it is still great, I am illustrating how I have changed over the years and how my tastes have altered.

Overall: 10/10

Favorite Film Ever

            I really want these movie to win awards.  And out in the world I am sure there are many people discovering things in media for the first time and coming to believe something is their favorite.  Something they love, believe in, something that hits them deep in the mind.  A friend of mine yesterday told me I had made a mistake putting "Interstellar" at number 4.  It should be my number one, and I told him it was a great movie, and for him the best.  But to me it is there.  This is not the sort of thing that should inspire fights, but it should inspire people to explore what they like, why they like it, when, and how, or with who.  The context of the experience is part of the experience.  All are ripples in the pond.

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