Marvel's "Civil War" (the comic)

This movie trailer just dropped.  It looks great.  I am going to talk about the god awful comic that inspired the movie.

I have a theory, the reason most smart people in the Marvel Universe (and comics in general) tend to be scientists rather than lawyers is simply because in comics you can make up bull shit gibberish and call it science, you can't make up law and everyone just say, “Yeah, I can see how that might pass and spike controversy”.

Unfortunately Marvel Comics back in 2006 decided to base one of the biggest events of the decade around a legal misunderstanding… and it made not a lick of sense.  After a number of incidents relating to superhero misconduct (for instance, the Hulk destroyed a good amount of Las Vegas while being mind-controlled, and Star Fox date raped a woman and fled the country) the last straw came in a very stupid way.

A group of young superheroes called The New Warriors found a group of escaped super villains hiding out in Connecticut.  What they should have done is kept their distance, formulate a plan, and call for back up if they needed it, one problem though, the team was being followed around by a camera crew because they were part of a superhero reality show akin to “Cops”.  The bad guys saw them, a fight broke out, and one of the villains, named Nitro, caused an explosion that killed hundreds of people including dozens of children.  Several of the heroes died as well.  This was the 9/11 of the Marvel universe and prompted a change in how the government interacted with the heroes.  All the superheroes now needed a license to use their powers.

Strangely the actual bad guy, Nitro.  He is barely mentioned in the rest of the event.

Captain America saw this licensing issue as unethical and took to leading a group of superheroes who did not want to register as a freelance group of heroes, he gave them all new cover identities and they continued to fight crime.  Iron Man was on the other side, since he was a former Secretary of Defense (yes, Tony Stark) Iron Man was made head of the licensed heroes and given the directive to stop vigilantes from operating, either they registered with the government (which means they would receive training, pay, benefits, and have to take orders) or they would be jailed until they registered.

As I previously mentioned writing law in comics is difficult and in this instance it was especially bad because at no point did they print the literal text of “The Registration Act”.  So no one could actually point to the law and say what it was the argument was about.  No soft language that would require review.  The registration act was unwritten not because it was complicated, but because Marvel's editors did not know how you would word a law to make such a disagreement possible.  There is an issue of She-Hulk that explains her legal justifications for why Registration is correct (there is no corresponding argument from another super-lawyer because it would require the creative staff to really hammer out a legal fiction that could illustrate the point).

I actually find this to be a sad state of affairs because Dan Slott wrote excellent super-cases for his run on She-Hulk (can a ghost testify against his murderer, can Starfox be tried for rape because his love powers can manipulate a woman's will, can a supervillain sue a hero for excessive force, what constitutes cruel-and-unusual punishment for a super-max prison?)  All of those topics were really cool to explore... And unfortunately no one else can really write that kind of stuff.  (Really, Dan Slott’s writing on that comic went into the toilet toward the end too, so maybe even he couldn’t have fixed this).

There is a massive argument going on that has no foundation on either side.  So instead we have to infer what the argument was about from each side’s behavior… AND HO-BOY everybody acted out of character

 

Whose side are you on?
I don't know.  What the hell is this all about?

The single biggest issue I have with the story is that both Iron Man and Captain America seem to be going against what I think their positions would be.  Both suffer tons of characterization, and in the case of Iron Man (outside the main "Civil War" book) suffers outright character assassination.

1) Captain America has had a teen sidekick die and has advocated against other teen heroes namely the Young Avengers.  Captain America is always the first hero to advocate against new people getting into the life of a superhero, and that makes sense he was frozen and lost his entire life to being a hero, why would he want someone to make that same sacrifice?  He is also critical of heroes who use too much force or use being a hero as an excuse to have fun or seek thrills.  The idea of heroes needing to receive training and licenses to operate makes a lot of sense.  But he is against it, and during the series he employs the Young Avengers (a group of teen heroes he told to stop operating) to help his cause, all of which makes him a massive hypocrite.  And then the Punisher shows up having murdered two super criminals and is immediately teamed up with by Captain America.  Hypocrite.

Also, Spider-man getting this beaten up by the two chuckle heads that Punisher killed is kind of disrespectful to Peter Parker as a character.

2) Cap's identity is known to the government, he lives in the helicarrier when he is not in Avengers tower or mansion, he gets a pay check from the government to go on missions for them and has a tremendously flexible work load that allows him to apply his skills and abilities to those missions he sees needing his abilities and his moral compass.  If anything he should be advocating that other superheroes receive the same support from the government to help them escape unfair persecution (“Spiderman, Hero or Menace” for instance).

3) Cap has used his legal status as "Champion" to form his own team of Avengers in the past so he is clearly not above using the rules.  This is more an extension of #2.  SHIELD was initially against or resistant to a new Avengers team forming because of how a previous team had ended (Scarlet Witch went crazy, killed 4 team members, and nearly destroyed all of New York), Captain America was so adamant about wanting to create a new team that he invoked his special status with the government to overrule all objections and create a new team.  Does he feel those rules are a detriment?  If so he gives no indication of such.

4) Iron Man is also acting out of character so let’s talk about him some.  Tony has been managing from behind the scenes the superhero community for years.  He formed the group called the Illuminati along with leaders from other super teams to help coordinate their efforts; Charles Xavier, Mr. Fantastic, Namor, Black Bolt, Doctor Strange, and Iron Man have all been taking the lead without the government’s oversight.  I think that these characters ESPECIALLY TONY, would not want to relinquish this control to the government which has shown itself to be run by idiots on more than one occasion.

Poor Charles Xavier, it is hard to do an action shot when you're an 80 year old man in a wheel chair and your powers are completely imperceptible.  He looks like he is having an ice cream headache.

5) Tony has gone to war with the Government to keep his armor technology from being misused.  The entire reason he became Secretary of Defense was to end the perceived abuse of his inventions.  So now he is going to sign up to give the government control of literal super geniuses?  Even if the government had no access to his armor, there are other super inventors whose inventions they could misuse.

6) Let’s get back to Cap.  Steve has his team give up their true identities and live under assumed names with no end to the war in sight, claiming that living under an assumed name is temporary, and the fact that these people cannot go home till their insurrection is over should be seen as a necessary and noble sacrifice.  Tony does not require that, if you register your identity doesn't have to be public and you get a paycheck, back up, training, and benefits/retirement. Cap is actively causing people to give up their lives, Tony is benefiting their lives.  Really, this aspect of the registration should be seen as a good thing by both heroes, and since Tony has been funding the Avengers and has in the past tried to set up shell corporations to fund hero retirement it would make sense for him to still create these kinds of systems but not be on the side of registration, Tony (by analogy) would be in the rich people, “let’s privatize social security” camp.

I do not think words can express how much I hate this quote.  It all at once encapsulates everything that is wrong with political discourse in this country and in the world as a whole.  You could replace Captain America with literally anyone, be it Glen Beck, Bernie Sanders, Jared Fogle, Jenny McCarthy, Bill Nye, or the Red Skull and not change a word.  It is empty rhetoric, and all Captain America does to justify his position in the entire story is say crap like this.

             7) After years of fighting super criminals and murderous mad science, the SHIELD agents sent to capture heroes are dubbed "Cape Killers" even though no heroes are killed by them.  It actually makes little sense on numerous levels.  In fact there is an incident in which a registered hero tries to take in a non-registered hero and the registered hero is killed in the ensuing fight.  (Seriously, how is training and accountability a bad thing?)

             8) To help keep unlicensed heroes (and you know BAD GUYS) jailed during the Civil War Tony Reed Richards and Hank Pym invent ultra-prison in a dimension called the Negative Zone.  Why are heroes being jailed in the negative zone? I do not understand both the moral "why" and the legal "how" that allows this to be accomplished.  This is less a character issue and more of a “why didn’t they write down the registration act” thing.

             9) Tony Stark and Mister Fantastic clone Thor in an attempt to create more heroes (kind of like the Ultron program in “Avengers: Age of Ultron”).  Unfortunately the clone is not ready and it uses lethal force to subdue a “hero” named Goliath (it should be noted that Goliath was 50ft tall and charging clone-Thor at the time and knocked several SHIELD agents off a building.  It should also be noted that Goliath is a black guy, and I think that it was SUPER AHEAD OF ITS TIME commentary on excessive force).  Regardless I don’t so much see this as out of character, but another thing that should have happened differently.

Maybe Thor should have used a TASER to take down the charging suspect?

With the above listed reasons I feel that the whole of Civil War should have been different.  I think that the Iron Man led Illuminati should have been against registration and Captain America should have favored registration.  I think that Tony should have made the clone-Thor as a way of evening out the fight with the mounting government forces and it causing the death of a hero should have prompted Iron Man to surrender.  Everything in the comic was backwards.

If they had shown the registration act and had Captain America explain the issues that caused him to react as such, and Iron Man explained why he did what he did, I would understand why this was happening, but none of it makes any sense.

Thankfully the movie is going to sidestep all of this.  Rather than arguing over the place of young heroes and training, instead it is a very different Captain America and a very different Iron Man fighting over (I think) whether Bucky Barnes needs to go to trial for all the terror and murder he was forced to take part in.

The only complaint I have with the movie universe (so far) is that Tony and Cap seem to not be friends in the movie universe.  Tony seems to see Cap as a stick in the mud who would be useless without the inventions of Howard Stark (Tony’s dad).  And Cap sees Tony as lacking morals, having only taken action to help people after suffering a personal attack (while Cap tried and failed numerous times to get into the military trying to fight and make the world better).  As to whether the argument which causes the fight will make sense… I think it will, this is the creative team behind “Winter Soldier” and that is my favorite superhero movie.

Don't even get me started on how fucking stupid Spider-man acts thru this whole thing.
(Though it is still less stupid than Black Panther)

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Let's make some Justice Leagues, part 8

(Continued from part 7)

            When it comes to superhero work there are many opportunities to interact with dangerous technology.  Shrink rays, robots, hacking computer terminals because people think that hacking involves a lot of fast typing rather than just looking up a person's facebook profile and using their personal information to brute force password possibilities in hopes that one of them sticks... I digress.
            The point is you need and want someone on the team who knows technology, not in the goofy weird science sort of way (Atom) and not in the vaguely believable sort of way (Batman), but it a very shiny tech kind of way.  Unfortunately there seems to be some sort of trend I have noticed in DC comics and I feel the need to point it out cause I find it to be a strange coincidence.

7) The Tech Savvy

            I do not know how this became a thing, but it is a thing.  Cyborg, Steel, and Mr. Terrific, three of the most prominent black characters in DC (mostly thru their involvement with the "Justice League Unlimited" and "Teen Titans" cartoons) are all very technology oriented, and all in very different ways.  They are not the only black characters, I have pointed out Jon Stewart and Icon in these blogs, but they are (to my knowledge) the 3 most prominent black characters in the current New 52 DC universe, and they are all based around very slick chrome technology that is actually a rather distinct appearance.

            I haven't seen any other superheroes with that sort of distinct look (maybe the Rocket Reds, Russian super cops who use power armor that looks deliberately cheesy, and while Adam Strange deals with alien technology, he's an archaeologist and is not tech savvy at all).  And when I went look for alternative characters to fill the more tech oriented roll for the group I only came across Hardware an obscure hero from the 90's publisher Milestone, invented by one of my favorite creators, Dwayne McDuffie... Hardware is a black man with a distinctly chrome technology appearance.  So this will be the first category I put in whose entire pool of candidates is African American... I guess that just stands out to me because all the prior categories I felt like I had to stretch a bit to not just have a bunch of white guys.

            The first candidate is Cyborg, or as he used to be known, Victor Stone.  Victor was harmed in an accident and his father used strange technology as a prosthesis to save Victor's life.  Cyborg is a genius in his own right who previously liked playing football, now he focuses on becoming the ultimate living machine and helping other heroes who use technology like his to become more powerful and effective.

BOOYAH!

            Steel, or John Henry Irons uses power armor.  Designed to emulate the powers of Superman so that he could follow in that heroic tradition after Superman had ostensibly been killed in the 90's (Superman was once dead, and that was considered a big deal) Steel is one of the most stalwart and heroic figures in comics, actually standing in contrast to Iron Man his closest counterpoint in Marvel.
            I also love him because of his involvement in my favorite "52" in which he fights off a plan by Lex Luthor to create an army of superheroes who suck at being superheroes and keep getting killed in action.  There is actually another Steel, John's niece, Natasha Irons who is a more headstrong and youthful character.  She is also a tech genius but more rash and impulsive, she tends to take on the mantel of Steel when John is too busy working on his company.

John Henry was a Steel driving man.

Unfortunately Nat has some notoriously bad power armor designs.  This is the best.

            Mr. Terrific, aka Michael Holt is a super genius who uses gadgets and his wealth to be more Batman than Batman.  His family died in a car accident and overcome with grief he nearly committed suicide before discovering and taking on the legacy of the original Mr. Terrific (a white guy with no gadgets).  He actually had his own title at the launch of the New 52 and it quickly tanked, but I still love the character because he was the thinker/leader of the Justice Society of America comic from the late 90's and early 2000's that I really got into.

He also got one of the worst costumes of the New 52.  Put him on the League for no other reason than he can get a new suit.

            Hardware I think should also be considered, though I do not think he should get the seat at the table, mostly because he has not appeared in a cartoon or other media for the last 20 years.  Curtis Metcalf was a child prodigy who grew up to use his fantastic intelligence and the backing of a business icon to fight against organized crime... Only to find out the person running organized crime was his financier.  While I do think that he is an interesting character, he does not have the presence to be on a Justice League, I would hope that they would give him his own series to try and grab some audience and if he proves to be well liked then have him join a team, but as of right now he is so obscure that even I had to look him up.

His costume is part of 90's comics commitment to pure insanity and his modern look is still rather silly.

            Mr. Terrific, Cyborg, and either Natasha or John would be great additions to a Justice League.  They are all are fun, interesting, and flawed in their own ways and are far more than their race, even though their inclusion in much of the work they appear in always itched me as a form of tokenism (for instance, in the early 2000's when Steel decided to leave the League, Plastic Man out-n-out states, "the one black guy can't quit", which bothered me then and it bothers me now even though it was a joke).  I would really like to include each of them because I like all of them and want them to continue to be cool characters beyond the demographic appeal.

(Continued in part 9)

Let's make some Justice Leagues, part 7

(Continued from part 6)

            The Justice League also tends to showcase lesser known heroes with zany powers/premises because that strangeness adds many options to adventuring possibilities.  You want someone whose whole deal is to make people go, "Wait, they do what?"

 6) Goofy Mad "Science"

            This is where the Flash comes in for the typical team, Barry "CSI" Allen is the one in circulation currently (even though he died in 1985... Geoff Johns can't let anyone stay dead and keeps using fanboy necromancy to bring them back).  Barry is also the star of the current FlashTV show and is present for most of the sheer madness that the Flash is known for, like a time traveling treadmill.  He is a boring nice guy who is also boring, a strange combination, at least Wally West (the Flash that followed Barry) was not as smart but much funnier.

Gotta Go Fast.  Gotta Go Fast.  Gotta Go Faster.  Faster.  Faster.  Faster, Faster, Faster!
Wait, I am thinking of someone else.

            Flash is paired off with Vibe on the current Canadian Justice League.  And I have no trouble with Vibe taking the second slot.  Vibe started out in the 80's as an attempt to make the DC universe more diverse, he was mostly known for break dancing and talking in a hilariously racist accent.  The way they altered Vibe's persona and abilities is pretty cool, originally he could just create vibrations to cause earthquakes, now he vibrates in strange frequencies that lets him disrupt electrical equipment or attack, and rather than being a racial stereotype who is arrogant but not competent, instead he is a cool rookie character, eager to learn and proud to be a part of the team.  Geoff Johns took a stupid racial character that bordered on minstrel show and turned him into a cool guy with unique powers... one of the few wins I will give to the New-52 universe.

Baby I'm just gonna Shake, Shake, Shake... Shake it off!
No, wait, wrong person again.

            BUT, who is number 3?  There are some potential candidates easily filling the role of the Flash... or there would have been in the old DC, New 52 though... Not so much.  No Jesse Quick, no Wally West, and no Max Mercury.

Seriously.  WHERE DID ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS GO?!

            So now (as the inclusion of Vibe indicates) this role is more about having weird powers that are sort of super science-ish?  And maybe just emphasize how different they are.  Not all leagues will have their own guy with super speed to work with, but each will have a bit of a wild card, in this instance I think it should be The Atom, Ryan Choi.  His powers are about size changing.  Choi was killed unceremoniously in the old DC continuity, and undoing that was another big win for the New 52, being an Asian character that has nothing to do with kung fu already puts him into a unique position in the universe, and he is a legacy character (carrying on the role of Atom from Ray Palmer) in the New 52, legacy characters have become much rarer because they regressed the universe, so Ryan is set apart.

Particle Man.  Parti--  Wait, that song if definitely unrelated.

            Vibe is about vibrations, Flash is about speed, and Atom is about being really tiny.  They all have there own thing that fits into zany powers derived from mad "science".

(Continued in part 8)

Let's make some Justice Leagues, part 6

(Continued from part 5)

            The Justice League is a gathering of the top skills in the DC Universe, brought together to face things ranging from psychos out of Gotham City, Giant Robots from Metropolis, Mythic creatures like Cyclopes and Minotaurs, and Aliens with complex politics and strange ways.  But sometimes stuff gets really weird and suddenly you need access to a witch, wizard, warlock, demon, or angel to help plug up the gate to hell that has just opened.  Who are the best candidates for this roll?  I am going to introduce a lot of characters I imagine most people have never heard of.  Welcome to the world of the mystic.

5) The Mystic

            This character exists to hit on the occult side of magic.  While a character like Wonder Woman fights gods and monsters from mythology these guys fight demons, witches, vampires, and the like.  While there are dozens of these types of characters (though which ones exist in the 52 universe is anyone's guess), I think the obvious candidates would be Jason Blood, Zatanna, Zauriel, Raven, and Doctor Fate.

            Jason Blood was a knight of the Round Table (this is his origin story told during the cold open of an episode of "Justice League") and betrayed King Arthur for the love of a demonic woman who then killed him with a venomous kiss.  The Wizard Merlin was so hurt by the betrayal that he decided death was too good for the treacherous twit and bound Jason's soul to Etrigan the Rhyming Demon (though his rhyming is rarely played up outside of comics, it's hard to fit the rhythm of it into a fight scene, when it works though it really works).  This binding brought Jason back to life and made him immortal, he also has the unfortunate moral question of having to turn into the demon in order to try and fight greater evils, but since Etrigan is hard to control this is a gamble.  He is a frequent ally of Batman and has been on a Justice League before under the leadership of Nightwing.  "Gone, Gone, The Form of Man, Rise the Demon, Etrigan!"

Etrigan has tried and failed to conquer hell before.

            Zatanna is on the current Justice League Dark and has a long standing history of being in the Justice League, appearing as part of Batman's various love interests, and generally being a cool character.  Her gimmick, that she says words backwards in order to cast a spell really only works in a comic book, as reading the backwards speak can allow you to decipher what it is she is saying, "srewolf otni nrut snug" becomes "guns turn into flowers", but in my opinion it doesn't work in cartoons or audio because you could literally put any gibberish in there, and there would be no way to check the work.  Either way she is a strong character to be in there.  (She was also featured as a main character in the "Young Justice" Cartoon).

Much Like Power Girl, Zatanna's costume is sexy to the point of overshadowing her as a character,
but she is a good character.

            Zauriel is an angel that fell to Earth in order to date a woman he fell in love with, he also helped the Justice League stop an invasion of Earth by a legion of rogue angels who were preparing to pull a coup de tat on God.  Those angels failed to defeat the Justice League and Zauriel joined the team specifically to be the team's adviser in occult matters.  And when atomic war threatened to end Earth he called on the army of angels in heaven to stop the annihilation of human kind.  Zauriel has some things on his side, aside from being a romantic noble character with a an interesting look and a sort of distinct place in DC as the most Christian of all the characters.  He also has the distinction of being invented by my favorite comic writer, Grant Morrison.

He looks like the cover of an 80's rock album.

            Raven, being one of the core members of the "Teen Titans" hardly needs an introduction.  she is the half demon daughter of Trigon, one of the biggest bads in the DC universe.  Her powers manifest as a telekinetic shadow that she can shape like a Green Lantern construct, use to enter the neither world, or teleport around terra firma.  Her powers are controlled by emotion so she is constantly using meditation to keep them in check against her thinly veiled demonic rage which could crack the world.  She is a great kill-joy character and adds a unique character trait to a group she is on: sullen-for-a-good-reason. "Azarath Metrion...ZINTHOS!"

Also a character made famous by a well done cartoon, "Teen Titans".

            Then there is Doctor Fate, a character I both love and hate.  What and who he is varies based on what version of DC you are in, sometimes he is a spirit that lives in a helmet and takes over the mind of whomever dons the helmet, in other continuities the helmet is merely a tool that can be worn by any magic user of capable enough skill and allows them to access the knowledge and spell casting power of all those who have worn it.  Either way works for story reasons and since the helmet is more the character than anything else you could give it to a new character, hell finding a new Doctor Fate could be the first mission for the team allowing them to fight the numerous bad guys who want the helmet for their own use (or to put in a concrete box somewhere so they won't have to deal with Fate ever again).

I also think this is one of those slots that should be filled by a minority woman.
Cause there are not a lot of them doing stuff in DC.

            There is another guy, John Constantine.  He has appeared in live action mainstream TV and could be considered one of the most prominent characters in circulation, like Green Arrow and Flash.  In my opinion I was shocked they brought him into this universe.  His stories are more dialogue focused and I could more easily see him and Swamp Thing teaming up to call Neil Gainman's Dream an emo.  Rather than be on or lead a team with superheroes.  Then again, Justice League Dark never appealed to me, maybe his could be great, but I think that everything he does can be done by Jason Blood  who I am also not picking.

A guy who references felching shouldn't be in mainstream comics (IMHO).

            If I were to make a final decision, Zatanna, Raven, and a new Doctor Fate would be who I would go for.

(Continued in part 7)

Let's make some Justice Leagues, part 5

(Continued from part 4)

            Now that I have talked about the big three of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman, I will continue into the other typical slots for the Justice League, and one of the big traditional parts of the group has been the inclusion of a Green Lantern, a space cop with a magic ring that can create green force fields in the shape of anything the wearer can think of.  They are chosen for their great willpower (courage) and are pretty cool in their own right, because rings of power are awesome.  Especially when colorful and worn to fight evil aliens.

In brightest day, in blackest night,
No evil shall escape my sight.
Let those who worship evil's might,
Beware my power, Green Lantern's light!!!

4) The Lanterns

            This is pretty easy, Earth has 5 Green Lanterns just pick 3 of them.  And let me bring up this gripe: Can we get a girl in this category?  Why is there no female Green Lantern?  And Aliens do not count.  Whatever.

            I find the latest addition to the ranks, Simon Baz to be 'meh'.  I have yet to really dive into his stories having heard that he was some kind framed for a crime and is now trying to clear his name... Which I would just show everyone that I have a Green Lantern ring and say something to the effect of, "I am gonna go play Captain Kirk, you all can stew in your Earthly bullshit while I bang beautiful blue skinned women out among the stars while kicking space pirates in the teeth with a magic force field.  PEACE."  But since Simon is a dipshit he decides to hang out on Earth for... Reasons.  His mask looks really stupid, and the fact that he carries a handgun is also stupid.  That being said he should probably be on team just to give him some time and space to develop in relation to other heroes.  I want to give him a fair shake, and a chance to not wear a stupid mask and carry a gun that would be meaningless to the sorts of alien monsters he fights with his magic ring.

I actually cited this guy's design as one of the big issues I take with New 52.  That being said, maybe he can be fixed.

            An obvious pick is Jon Stewart, who is popular from the "Justice League" cartoon that was on thru the 2000's.  I would go so far as to say that more people know of him as the Green Lantern than any of the others because of his involvement with the series.  While the comic iteration is very different and responsible for some of the worst decisions any superhero has ever made including the complete destruction of a planet (on two occasions) he shows remorse and aspires to be a better person.  Jon illustrates one of the harsher personality types that get Green Lantern rings: a will to do good, but also hard headed and prone to catastrophic failure when that hard headedness picks the wrong plan to go forward with.  John has his own fan base, and is a good pick to be an icon of the DC Universe.

He is also a Marine, making him one of the very few superheroes with a military background.

            Now to pick between the other three: Hal Jordan, Kyle Rayner, and Guy Gardener.  Kyle, being my favorite should be the shoe in, as he is a young artistic character that started at the bottom of the hero latter, getting recruited in a back alley while his buddy was 10 feet away puking.  Kyle attained godhood and then used that power to remake the Green Lanterns and then joined back up as a rank and file member designated "Torchbearer" to mark his importance to the rest for his service... unfortunately DC turned Kyle into some kind of rainbow god, like he just unlocked the Elements of Harmony, so even though he was the last and greatest Lantern of the universe for decades, and was the only Lantern for a generation of readers (myself included) he is now kind of out of play for being too epic.

He actually had several uniforms while in service, aside from the wide mask his costume is most in flux.

Kyle is most known for his elaborate constructs.  The character was an artist and that allowed the writers and creators of the comic to justify massive and elaborate things from giant gorillas, to teddy bears, sumo wrestlers, power armor... it made the stories a lot of fun to read, and I imagine very fun to work on.  To see some examples, follow this link.

            On the other end of the scale is Guy, a hard drinking, thick skulled, and comically dickish character that is a hell ton of fun to have on any team because he adds to the dynamic, rather than filling a role.  He countermands orders, he questions authority, and he gets shit DONE.  He was a big wheel in the last season of "Batman: Brave and the Bold" and is mostly seen as the dirty cop who does the jobs no one else will take by the Guardians (the leaders of the Lantern Corp) so it tickles me to think of guy getting stuck on Earth while the other choice, Hal Jordan (one of the most boring characters in DC) is off in space trying to do... stuff, mostly politics involving the various other Lanterns, the Reach, and other space crap that no casual reader could ever hope to keep up with.

He especially doesn't get along with... Everyone...

            So we have Jon Stewart, Simon Baz, and Guy Gardener (who I like to think was sent to Earth by the Guardians with a note saying, "We hope he doesn't fuck anything up too much"). 

 

But Batman even more especially.

(Continued in part 6).

Let's make some Justice Leagues, part 4

(Continued from part 3)

            As discussed before there will be 3 teams, based around the "Truth, Justice, and the American Way (Liberty)" tagline used for Superman (and by extension the DC universe as a whole).  Since Wonder Woman has a lasso of Truth, she will lead the Truth Team.  Batman is always banging on about Justice, so he will lead the Justice Team.  Superman will be taking Liberty Team, because that is actually what fits him the best.  So each will lead their own team, but will need members to fill in for the others, Batman might need a flying super strong alien or a hero familiar with the magic of the Greek gods for instance, and Wonder Woman might need a ninja detective.  So we will need to grab characters that can fill these heroes roles and work well with others.  Today is the role of Wonder Woman.

I am actually not the biggest fan of this character, but I know that she is an important part of the mythos, and has a lot of appeal to a very wide audience.

3) The Wonder Women (Leader of Team Truth)

            This one I actually feel is less about the "Woman" part and more about the connection to mythic aspects, you know, the "Wonder".  To that end I think that Billy and Mary Batson, or as they are known Captain Marvel and his sister Mary Marvel should fill the role of super strong magical person who has access to Greek gods.  (I wrote a long blog explaining who the character was a couple years ago before he underwent a make-over for New 52.  There is also a video by internet personality, Moviebob on the topic).

He is probably the best metaphor for superheroes in existence.

            For those who do not know, Billy Batson was an orphan who was summon to the mythical Rock of Eternity by the Wizard SHAZAM, and given the ability to transform into the mightiest of mortals whenever he cried out the name of the wizard.  He later discovered his long lost sister Mary and she too managed to gain the power of the wizard (along with a whole cast of characters).  He is most notable for at one time being the best selling super hero in the world to the point his company was sued by DC because he looked too much like Superman (I even listed him as a Superman knock off above).  But really he is not all that like Superman in my opinion aside from design, and to be clear, cape and tights was pretty common at the time, and flight and super strength are so common that it is a running joke in the comic "PS238" (I consider "PS 238" to be a must read, the characters are rich and fun to read, almost all of it is online and hard bound versions are available for the collector, please do read it).

Mary is consistently one of the most fun characters around, and when she and the rest of the Marvel Family (a pantheon of Children and Teens) appeared in costume in the New 52 it was one of the coolest turns a story has taken so far in New 52.

            The Marvels connection to a broader mythic universe much like the Island of the Amazons for Wonder Woman is what matters.  There is another possibility if you wanted to play up the Woman aspect of this category, Power Girl, but she is not mythic, and does not exist in New 52 in the same way she did in the old universe, having replaced her keen scientific and business skills with... using her sexuality to seduce Mr. Terrific to steal tech from him; which is probably the most damn argument against the New 52 as they turned a fun and sexy super heroine into one that was more conservatively dressed, but acted like a floozy.

Shockingly, in spite of her costume being far more conservative, her character is much thinner and shit.

This iteration from the 2000's is a fantastic character.  Smart, funny, and with the wisdom of a leader.  Her comic was full of fun and adventure and strange space age concepts.  I am sad that she no longer exists.

            There is also Donna Troy, who used to be Wonder Girl and became a super heroine in her own right, she has Wonder Woman's powers, with a magic lasso that gives her mind control rather than truth powers.  Unfortunately like Power Girl her place in the New 52 is uncertain, she is alluded to but has made no appearance, even though she would have worked a lot better in some recent stories than other characters.

Goodbye other cool character.  I am sorry that the world seems to not long for your type.

(Continued in Part 5)

Let's make some Justice Leagues, part 3

(Continued from part 2)

            As discussed before there will be 3 teams, based around the "Truth, Justice, and the American Way (Liberty)" tagline used for Superman (and by extension the DC universe as a whole).  Since Wonder Woman has a lasso of Truth, she will lead the Truth Team.  Batman is always banging on about Justice, so he will lead the Justice Team.  Superman will be taking Liberty Team, because that is actually what fits him the best.  So each will lead their own team, but will need members to fill in for the others, Batman might need a flying super strong alien or a hero familiar with the magic of the Greek gods for instance, and Wonder Woman might need a ninja detective.  So we will need to grab characters that can fill these heroes roles and work well with others.  Today is the role of Batman.

You all know who this is.

2) The Batmen (Leader of Team Justice)

            Batman actually has dozens of Batmen operating all over the world as part of his private security company "Batman Inc" and most would be worthy candidates, but I think there are two that are ahead of the pack for becoming members of the Justice League alongside Bruce Wayne.  Nightwing, the original Robin who is arguably the coolest and most fun character in DC (and aside from Gambit is considered to be one of the most attractive comic book characters to straight females and gay men), the other is Batwoman, who I am partial to because of her involvement in "52" my favorite comic ever, and that she does well sustaining her own comic line just like Nightwing.

If there is an abdominal workout, I am sure he has mastered it.

Why they both have red outfits currently is anyone's guess.

            This is an easier category to solve.  The only objection people might have is that Batwoman is not Batgirl, Barbara Gordon.  Why did I leave out the most iconic woman to ever dress like Batman?  Because until the start of New 52 Barbara was a different hero, Oracle and was in a wheelchair.  Barbara was one of the few superheroes in DC comics that had a significant disability but still used her skills and knowledge to help people.  Oracle was a member of the Justice League in the late 90's and early 2000' and operated her own super team called the Birds of Prey; most notably she appeared in the Arkham video games.  In my opinion, Oracle is her most iconic role in the DC universe.  This regression is one of the bigger issues I had with the New 52 universe.  I don't want her to be Batgirl, So I am not going to put her on a Justice League.

Yes, I was shot in the spine by the Joker.  Now I manage my own superhero team.

Her being returned to active duty smacks again of Geoff Johns'-esc rebooting for no good reason.

(Continued in Part 4)

Let's make some Justice Leagues, part 2

(Continued from part 1)

            As discussed before there will be 3 teams, based around the "Truth, Justice, and the American Way (Liberty)" tagline used for Superman (and by extension the DC universe as a whole).  Since Wonder Woman has a lasso of Truth, she will lead the Truth Team.  Batman is always banging on about Justice, so he will lead the Justice Team.  Superman will be taking Liberty Team, because that is actually what fits him the best.  So each will lead their own team, but will need members to fill in for the others, Batman might need a flying super strong alien or a hero familiar with the magic of the Greek gods for instance, and Wonder Woman might need a ninja detective.  So we will need to grab characters that can fill these heroes roles and work well with others.  Today is the role of Superman.

1) The Supermen.

            Superman is one of the most copied characters in fiction, I can name 8-9 versions of the character off the top of my head (Sentry, Omni Man, Apollo, Gladiator, Mr. Majestic, Icon, Captain Marvel, Blue Marvel, Hyperion, Centurion, Samaritan, and arguably Thor and Martian Manhunter... 13) but since we already have Superman himself for a team now we just need 2 more.  So lets look at the 13 I picked and knock out any not from DC leaving us with Apollo, Icon, and Martian Manhunter.

In the New 52 universe Superman is much younger and more alienated from the rest of the world.

            Icon is an alien that fell to Earth back in the 1600's as was transformed to look like a human so as to pass in the world, he is virtually immortal and lived his life as a normal person until he was discovered to have powers by his current sidekick, Rocket, and convinced to be a hero.  He was also featured in the "Young Justice" cartoon show, which I love.

He was created by one of my favorite writers of comics, Dwayne McDuffie,

            Apollo is a genetic super being powered by the sun and was part of the "WildStorm" comics company and is not really tied into the regular DC universe.  His biggest feature was in a book called "The Authority" in which he killed super villains by the bus load and married his long term boyfriend Midnighter (who is himself a much more violent interpretation of Batman).

He would add some diversity in that he is a married gay man.  But since he uses lethal force regularly, he is not a good fit.

            Martian Manhunter was the last of the Martians, formally their societies version of a police officer he was brought to Earth by a scientist who was studying teleportation.  He is a shapeshifter, so J'onn J'ozz took on human form of John Jones and became a police officer on Earth.

He was a main character of the "Justice League" cartoon from a decade ago and was featured on "Young Justice".

            I think the best pick for this group should all be aliens because it opens up the story telling to include more extra-Earth threats, and allows for more general alien weirdness (though the New 52 has tried hard to make things very bland).  Icon, Martian Manhunter, and Superman are the 3.  Apollo will have to resign himself to the team he is already on, Stormwatch.

(Continued in part 3)