Top 5 Disney Love Songs

            I have not been posting nearly enough this year and I want to steer back from that.  To that end I have found a 30-day blog challenge and fluffed it out to 31 entries (since December has 31 days).  I have done a 30-day challenge before for movies, though that one was poorly executed (I started it in the middle of a month, at one point I posted 2 entries on one day, it is a mess).  I did another one just this year in August on Video Games, that one was better, go read it after this one, all of it.  Or don’t, no pressure.

            Today is day 10 and the topic is “Best Love Song”.

            I am going to start off by saying, there are lots of these and they are near universally good.  The reason I start with that is I also have to point out that the songs skew HEAVILY toward romantic love and neglect almost entirely friendship and familial love as things to sing about—there are plenty of songs about friends, but not about loving a friend.

            To that end I decided to look at what I feel are the 5 most iconic songs about romantic love, a top 5 list in no particular order seemed like a great idea.  Then I recognized a fun quirk about each of the five, they each emphasized a different stage/aspect of romantic love so I decided to put them in that order.

Trepidation

From “Hercules” you have “I won’t say I’m in Love”

            This song captures the hesitation related to entering a new relationship, in this case those feelings issue from having been hurt previously—or in other cases just being scared of entering into a new relationship.

The best aspect is that the song is presented in a statue garden that presents numerous instances of a romantic ideal—a modern Western heteronormative ideal that is, in real Ancient Greece there would have been a lot more sculptures of gay wrestling—so even while surrounded by depictions of love and having the muses singing with her about the subject she is still trying to keep her emotional walls up.  She fails, but still.  

(If you want to learn more about Aphrodite, the love goddess barely appearing in the movie about Greek gods and has a subplot about romance, watch this video, it also talks about the Greek ideas about love.)

Swept Away

From “Aladdin” we have “A Whole New World”

            We have moved on from being afraid, both in this blog and in the movie, “Aladdin”.  Jasmine has been resistant to suitors and Aladdin has met that resistance as best he can with charm and wonder and… well, if a princess showed up to my house with a parade and then took me on a magic carpet ride (Euphemisms!  They’re great!) I think my resistance to entering a relationship would melt away too.  Allowing yourself to be swept up in the charms and taking your emotional barricades down is important to starting up an emotional journey.

It was my favorite Disney song for a long time because I think it captures the emotions they are going for perfectly, both in the animation capturing the rises and falls—subtext(!)—and the nature of the duet starting off as an invitation, answering with acceptance, and then coupling.  It’s great.

Making the Move

From “The Little Mermaid” there’s “Kiss the Girl”

            While the previous two have either trepidation or breaking thru trepidation at the start of a relationship this song takes place during a relationship that is going from quasi-platonic and flirty to full on romantic.  And the song is full on about reading signals and making moves.  Which can be difficult.

            Not everyone is taught how to seal the deal and not nearly enough people know when you should be trying to.  This song is about that little voice in your head telling you to do it because being around this person is making you so emotionally charged that every noise in your vicinity starts to sound like music.

Sexual Chemistry

In “The Lion King” they have “Can You Feel the Love Tonight”

            First and only song on this list that is non-diegetic, aside from the opening and closing by Timon and Pumbaa—and you can cut those elements from the song without losing the meat of it—all of the singing that is done by Simba and Nala takes place within their own heads while most of the music comes from an unseen chorus.  But that aspect is not all that important to what the song is really about.

            This song is about sex.  Unlike the other songs about romance, this song is about sex framed in a romantic sense.  It is not even all that sub textual, at one point in the song he gets he gets her wet and she is shocked by it.

 

Go ahead and tell me there is nothing symbolic about this!
DO IT!

True Love

“Beauty and the Beast” has the most aptly titled “Beauty and the Beast”

            Moving past all the previous entries there is one final aspect that needs to be covered, the romantic ideal.  This song contextualizes the romance between Belle—Her name means Beauty, You Get IT!?—and the Beast as “story old as time, song as old as rhyme”.  This is not just their relationship it is THE relationship.  The bad boy who will only be good to the one girl, the shut off girl who will only open up to the one boy.

            While the previous songs see the object of the affection as some sort of ideal that they are distant from.

“Who d'you think you're kidding?  He's the earth and heaven to you” -Muses from “Hercules”

“A whole new world, a dazzling place I never knew!”  -Jasmine from “Aladdin”

“Sitting there across the way, she don’t got a lot to say, but there’s something about her” -Sebastian from “The Little Mermaid

“Why won’t he be the King I know he is; the King I see inside?” -Nala, from “The Lion King”

            But this song is about Belle and Beast’s relationship starting from a completely different point and moving into romance organically allowing them to see each other as who they are rather than what they imagine the other person to be.  They are in love on a deeper level.  It is what the whole movie is about, seeing someone for who they are beyond appearances.

 

I am, admittedly, taking the exact opposite perspective most comedically oriented people do on this movie.
I mean, the old and tired joke is about Stockholm Syndrome.

“Barely even friends, then somebody bends, Unexpectedly.” -Ms. Potts in “Beauty and the Beast”

            There is one other song I could have included that blends elements of these and that complexity I think elevates it, so it will get its own entry down the line.  But for right now, these are five Disney Songs that explore love.

Bonus: Not a Song

            Let me be clear, as most of these movies are made for little children the idea of romance as something new to be explored means that romance skew young in these movies, but there is another stage of love that goes past first kisses and dances in a ballroom.  There is the sort of love that makes you feel incomplete without it and drives you to go on mad cap adventures trying to prove to yourself and the one you lost that it was all worth it.

            There is more nostalgic and wistful romance in “Up” than any movie with a prince or princess in it.

  

Beg for Attention

            Share your own thoughts on this in the comments.  I know I am not the only person out there who is nostalgic for Disney products, and I am sure many people disagree with my selection for today’s entry.

            Do you have a favorite?  Can you tell me why?  Is there some stage of courting I missed in this simplistic list of five things?  What would you suggest?  Please comment below.

I picked Disney stuff just because I knew there was so much of it to talk about and it lends itself to discussion in the comments.  So please, tell me how my opinion about cartoon movies is biased and how your opinion on cartoon movies is objectively right.

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Movies of 2014, Top Films (3, 2, and 1)

            I originally thought to give each of these there own blog comparing them to other movies I like, but realized that I did not want to give in depth descriptions of each of them, I just preferred people to go watch and enjoy them, which I think most people have in the case of two of them.  So I will just recommend them.  Even going so far as to tell people to buy them.

 #3

This actually has a really good visual to it, the main character split between two worlds.

The Boxtrolls (I am not linking to the trailer because the trailer is rubbish)

            I do not know why this movie specifically spoke to me at the level it did.  I do have some theories though.

            1) It has coherent themes and messages... as the most communist film I have seen in recent memory.  There is a class of tinkerers who lack a voice in the political system being oppressed and labeled as monsters by the villain who is trying to climb a social ladder that shouldn't exist and does nothing to help society.  As I do think a lot of the issues in society come both from a lack of social mobility and a failure to listen to the needs and concerns of the working class this is a good message.

            2) I absolutely love stop motion animation.  This goes back to me talking about Gimmicks in my review of "Birdman".  I fully acknowledge that using 3D puppets and stop motion animation as opposed to CGI is perhaps the more time consuming option and is definitely a style choice.  BUT, THESE ARE PEOPLE MAKING REAL TOYS COME TO LIFE.  My brain marvels at this, and the fluidity of movement in this movie makes it look like people in suits some of the time, and the number of figures on screen all moving at once is dazzling.  This is a gimmick that in theory adds nothing because you could use CGI, but at the same time I appreciate it a lot.  I can't rectify this with my usual stances on things, but I point to this little interview with Quentin Tarantino about the magic of film, the illusion of movement is part of the magic that this movie uses to entice the audience.

            3) The world itself is cool and imaginary without being so outside the norm as to be distracting from the story and characters.  A steam punk city, an economy based around cheese, the whole thing built on the side of a mountain (everybody must have spectacular calf muscles), and a storm sewer filled with gadget loving trolls (pettiest of gripes, these are not Trolls in the strictest crypto-zoological sense, they are goblins, kind of the inverse of the movie "Troll 2" having only goblins on screen, but there they correctly identified them as goblins).

            4) The humor.  While there is a lot of physical comedy and bug eating, much of the humor has to do with word play, puns, and comedy of manners type interaction.  How does the boy raised by monsters fair in a formal setting?  (I got a lot of "Tarzan" vibes off of this story, but trolls instead of apes).  How does the gentry spend the city's money?  (There is one asshole who really needed to die by the end of this movie).  Why is everything named after dairy products?  It is strange but funny.

            Honestly I can see this movie not appealing to many, and its marketing is terrible.  I would never have seen this movie if I had not happened to have a class canceled while they were screening it at the campus theater.  And I imagine few people will seek it out, but please do if you can, I feel it is a very strong film that should be watched.

Overall: 10/10

#2

Fun fact, that opening spoken bit from Eminem's "Rap God" are from a Captain America comic.  (Poster)

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

            I love Captain America.  Too often today the main character of a story is a high functioning psychopath, autistic, alcoholic, or flawed and damaged in non-specific ways... and that is fine, but it gets to the point where I am tired of seeing flawed protagonists fighting villains who are only marginally more violent or irresponsible than the hero.  Captain America is the inverse of that.

            Captain America is a completely good guy.  He is smart, strong, kind, and is the first to try and offer support to those in need.  He uses his might for right rather than might making right.  His villains are great, twisted extrapolations of the ideals he fought for in the last movie.  Yeah, WWII required a lot of killing before it resolved, but the Nazi's had actually been killing lots of people and invading countries with the intent to kill more.  This movie points out how using insane levels of military superiority to kill people because they fit a profile of someone who might do harm is madness.  "That is not freedom, it's fear."

            It is almost like these themes are super topical and directly speak to the culture we live in.  The militarization of police, the use of drone air superiority... RACIAL PROFILING.  Thank god they got such a great black actor to play the best interpretation of Falcon ever, his presence makes this films team of Secret Avengers (you could have called the movie that) with Cap, Widow, Falcon, Agent Hill, and Nick Fury the most diverse superhero team so far appearing in a Marvel film (discounting the inclusion of Raccoons and Groots).

            Like I said while reviewing "X-Men: Days of Future Past" both films deal with the use of drones to attack remarkable people who could upset those in power, imposing order on a world that resists such impositions.  The stakes are huge in this the villains competent, powerful, and far reaching.  This movie has fantastic scope and intelligence to how it handles its material.  But strangely it also ties into a bad movie I saw some time ago, "GI Joe: Retaliation" a movie which has a criminal terrorist organization seize control of the government, hunting the heroes, all so they can gain control of an orbital weapon.  In "GI Joe" the bad guys are ultimately defeated, but only after 20+ million people were killed by a weapon strike on London.  So I guess it is a good thing Cap was around for this one cause apparently "GI Joe" has proven to be pretty terrible as a franchise.  Gods bless America.

            Strangely (considering I give number rating to things) I tend not to compare movies to one another in my mind.  I don't really like ranking things because different movies are trying for different things.  "Starship Troopers" is a fantastic science fiction movie parodying the military... But it is a terrible western.  "Silence of the Lambs" is an intriguing psychological thriller, but is a terrible romantic comedy.  Unless two movies try to do similar things with similar characters then comparing them is sort of a disservice to those who made them.  Comparing "Batman" to "The Dark Knight" is fair, comparing "Forgetting Sarah Marshal" to "Apocalypse Now" is not fair or logical.  The reason I bring this up is because I do think it is fair to rank the Marvel movies against one another.  Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man are all in the same universe, made by the same studio, and have many of the same themes and tones.  So when I tell you "Captain America: The Winter Soldier" is my favorite marvel movie, that information should carry some interesting weight.  I think this movie is the current high mark for subject matter and character dynamics that can be explored in a Marvel film while still doing the doomsday action scene to the T.  I loved this movie.  And as cheesy as this reads, I much like Falcon standing in his kitchen after handing his file to Cap, I feel like I wanted to help.  How could I refuse?  "Captain America needs my help".

            So I guess I am asking you to find a veteran service, free speech defense fund, and (considering he only did in real life what Black Widow did in the movie) re-evaluate Edward Snowden and the role of government in our lives.  Is what is happening around us Freedom?  Or Fear?

Overall: 10/10

My Movie of the Year 

Can "cake" be a visual motif?

The Grand Budapest Hotel

            I can't really describe myself as a fan of Wes Anderson.  Mostly it has to do with Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller showing up in his movies and I generally dislike them (they have their moments but mostly... bleh).  But I like his characterization, his blending of styles, the artistry, the weirdness.  Much like "The Boxtrolls" this movie has a strange world filled with characters bordering on being magical.  The humor is smart.  The costuming is cool.  Everything fits together so well that... I don't have any complaints.  None.  Everything about this movie works for me on all levels.

            A long while back I explained that my favorite movie was "Fight Club" (though my brother said that blog was hard to read and very round about to the conclusion).  "Fight Club" is also a movie free of criticism from me.  But I also feel that "Fight Club" appeals to a part of my brain that I am growing away from.  I first encountered the movie when I was 16 and it appealed to a very angry part of my mindset.  "Fuck the man, fuck the machine, fuck the world, I will hit it all in the face until it is unrecognizable..."  But nowadays, while I am still angry about the bad things in the world (including Starbucks) there is a stronger aspect to my personality taking over... My desire to be a part of the best parts of the world.

            Gustav H. (Ray Fiennes) The star of "The Grand Budapest Hotel" stands in direct contrast to Tyler Durden.  Gustav gives speeches to his staff on how to be better at their jobs, and to derive enjoyment from their jobs, to take pride in themselves and who they are.  Tyler gives speeches on why we are nothing, why we are dirt, why we are violent and base, and encourages us to break the system and break from our jobs.  Gustav dresses up and wears perfume.  Tyler doesn't wear a shirt or shoes so as to more effectively grapple people.  Gustav quotes poetry (I actually recognized the first poem he quoted in the movie, the moment I knew I would like the movie).  Tyler splices pornography into family films.

            I definitely have a dark side that makes me want to hit things, that makes me frustrated and angry at the world and the hollowness that is everywhere.... BUT I STILL LIKE STUFF.  I want to live and excel at being a good person who helps his friends and loved ones, and take pride in being the best at what they do and ultimately gets rewarded for it, but still takes real risks for the sake of those around him.  So, "The Grand Budapest Hotel" is replacing "Fight Club" as my favorite movie, though like I said before, comparing these two is a study in contrasting styles, tones and themes.  I am not diminishing "Fight Club" it is still great, I am illustrating how I have changed over the years and how my tastes have altered.

Overall: 10/10

Favorite Film Ever

            I really want these movie to win awards.  And out in the world I am sure there are many people discovering things in media for the first time and coming to believe something is their favorite.  Something they love, believe in, something that hits them deep in the mind.  A friend of mine yesterday told me I had made a mistake putting "Interstellar" at number 4.  It should be my number one, and I told him it was a great movie, and for him the best.  But to me it is there.  This is not the sort of thing that should inspire fights, but it should inspire people to explore what they like, why they like it, when, and how, or with who.  The context of the experience is part of the experience.  All are ripples in the pond.

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Movies of 2014, Top Films (6, 5, and 4)

            I was going to do a top 5, with much more elaborate comparisons to good movies of last year, trying to contextualize my tastes and what-have-you... Then I found a 6th movie to put on the list, and I wanted to get these all out before the Oscars... So here is the first half of my top 6 list (6, 5, and 4), one of which is just a link to a much longer review I did months ago.  My best work?  Probably not.  But a quick read.

 A Walk Among the Tombstones

            I cannot imagine this movie making it onto many "best of" lists.  While it is very well produced, plotted, and has sequences that evoke the right levels of discomfort, it is riddled with clichés, the main character and his kid sidekick especially.  Seriously, does every ex-cop turned unlicensed private eye have to be a recovering alcoholic?  Can't they just be competent without being damaged?

            I really like crime as a genre of fiction and the nature of asking questions, gathering information, the tension of confronting dangerous situations, and the darkness of the consequences of failure.  This movie captures all of those aspects.  It is a good mystery with good characters, and there is a good resolution.

            Some minor complaints, I do not understand the accent that Liam is trying for.  He should have just been an Irish cop in the states, it would have been fine.  They also set the movie in 1999, with the Y2K bug serving as weird background dressing for what is going on.  I am not really complaining about the Y2K thing, but it is an odd choice that boarders on distracting.  I imagine this movie to couple well with my favorite movie of last year "Prisoners" for a gloomy weekend viewing.

Overall: 9/10

 

I really like the quote on this poster, "People are afraid of all the wrong things."  Weirdly profound.

Blue Ruin

            If you like "No Country for Old Men", "Winter's Bone", and maybe "Mud" this seems like the type of movie for you.  A homeless man whose parents were murdered when he was very young is told by the police that the man who did it is getting released.  Revenge is what follows.

            What sets this apart from others of this type is the vulnerability of the main character.  He is far from being the type of unstoppable badass that defines movies about revenge.  He frequently injures himself while fighting and he can't use a gun for shit.  But he makes up for it by being crafty, setting traps, being elusive, and being fully aware of how completely fucked he is.  There is a good scene in this movie, which is great when set in contrast to "No Country for Old Men".  In "No Country" the psycho hit man has a major leg wound, so he breaks into a pharmacy and treats himself like a badass.  In "Ruin" the main character tries and fails to treat a leg injury and only barely makes it to a hospital before passing out, then later has to escape the hospital while naked.

            This is a dark and violent movie which takes a very pity inspiring protagonist and puts him thru the wringer.  Very good movie.

Overall: 9/10

 

Fun fact: I did not initially want to watch this because I thought it was a low budget independent film about Jesus.

Interstellar

            I already wrote a substantive review of this.  Needless to say it is worth watching and will take you on a journey.  The sense of exploration tempered with hard science, soft science, and sentiment makes me wonder what "Star Trek" would have looked and felt like had Christopher Nolan and company had been in charge of the reboot with this kind of tone and guiding mindset rather than the generic (but fun) action movie vibe that Abrams used.

Overall: 9/10

They are going to release this in IMAX again, because it is awesome.

(Tomorrow I will continue with my 3 favorite movies of the year.)

If you like or hate this please take the time to comment, +1, share on Twitter or Facebook, and otherwise distribute my opinion to the world.  I would appreciate it.

Movies 2012, Top 5

            After the power went out last night I decided to just postpone writing my Top 5, but here there are, just like I planned I did my reviews for the movies of 2012 before the end of January just like I hoped.  Now to stop reviewing things for a while cause my brain is tired.

5. Award for Best Soft Science Fiction: "Looper" (Trailer)

            Time travel movies are a pain in the ass from a scripting/plotting position.  By their very nature they are trying to express a metaphor for life without coming out and saying it, but people get so bogged down in the details of the mechanics (and really that is part of the fun) that they miss the point.

            Take "Back to the Future" (Trailer), a big thrust of that Franchise is how the more things change, the more they stay the same.  There are restaurants catering to nostalgia; there are campaign vans doing announcements; in each movie there are similar instances of the main character, Marty confronting bullies, in the 1950's he soundly defeats them, in 2015 he barely gets away unscathed, in 1885 he is nearly murdered.  The point is to illustrate how certain world views would come into conflict in different eras, but there is a sense of repetition and contrast.

            "Looper" has a very different message, one that has to do with the cyclical nature of one's decisions and how they affect others.  If you could go into the past to kill your hated enemy as a child, would you try to change the path your younger self is on, and how would seeing what you eventually become change your view on the world.  There is a lot that can be said about trying to kill your own future self, not just through bad decision making but by actually trying to shoot him/you.

9/10

Okay, I know where this is going!  Let's just get it over with!

4. Award for Best Horror Movie, and Arguably Best Comedy: "Cabin in the Woods" (Trailer)

            I am the first to argue that Horror as a genre needs some fresh perspectives on itself.  They (as well as much of Hollywood) have begun the horrific act of self cannibalism as they reuse old franchises, old tropes, and haven't gotten anything "new" in recent time outside of going more and more extreme with violence.

            And I understand why, it is hard to come up with a new idea, design it, produce it, and then sell it.  Even making something classic well is difficult because trying to put a new spin on something like vampires or werewolves isn't possible because they have been run so far into the ground.

            "Cabin in the Woods" is the ultimate destination for horror, and I would go so far as to say that it kind of broke the whole genre down to its core.  It vivisects the idea of people being in the middle of nowhere under assault by monsters.  "Cabin" addresses the soulless machine that produces the movies, it addresses the audiences, it addresses the element of escalation.  This movie is great.

            Let me leave with this, at one point the heroes are cornered, and they concoct a plan.  Logically what happens would require slightly more effort but I don't think anybody should care.  This movie gets to a point in which you do not think it can go any more insane, and then they hit (what I will call) THE AWESOME BUTTON and the whole thing just takes off into new levels of HOLY-SHIT.

9/10

3. Award for Most Awesome Dystopia: "Dredd" (Trailer)

            I like dystopias, they are some of my favorite social commentaries as they mostly just reductio ad absurdum a current trend in the modern world.  "Blade Runner" (a movie I do not really like) in which you can buy and sell androids that are more human than human, leaving the audience to question what happened to the dumb masses as they are literally buying people.  "1984" was the totalitarian regime of history re-writing fascists, a world in which... well, I guess we can all debate which political ideology won the Cold War in that universe, in my opinion it could have been anyone.  Or "Mad Max" when the world is slowly creeping toward depletion and nobody has a way of making civilization sustainable again.

            "Dredd" is a simpler commentary than that, it is about the escalating nature of the war on crime, the problems that a future of urban sink will cause, and the possible necessity of much more draconian police work.  Whoo-boy is this movie fun: violence is not toned down, a guy's head is melted in the cold opener, numerous people are burned to death, skinned, shot, exploded, or die choking on their own crushed throat bones, frequently this violence is shown in slow motion, and the slow motion is not gratuitous, but is actually a plot point.  This is the sort of violent dystopia that "The Hunger Games" (Trailer) was supposed to be, and couldn't attain because of its market.

            I pray to Metztli this movie sells enough on DVD to get its sequel because the theater release was not strong enough even in 3D.  When this thing hits 15$ I think I will snap it up because it really needs to be bought and supported, like its brother in arms, "Kick-Ass". (Trailer)

9/10

2. Award for Most Cathartic Violence: "Django Unchained" (Trailer)

            While "Dredd" has violence against criminals that are law breakers and violent monsters in many cases, and the violence feels good when it is exacted on the bad guys, the truth is, "Dredd" is commenting on a future that has not happened yet and uses its style to explore a very strange and dark future that is rather easy to avoid.  "Django Unchained" is a very clever and powerful exploration of an era in history that already happened.

            The violence in "Django" is not against law breakers and crooks, it is against the plutocrats that have grown rich and fat off a monstrous civilization wide failure.  The villains have their own twisted perspectives, they have their own beliefs, they have there own families and histories, they love and hate different things, in short, the bad guys are more human and believable, and as such their monstrous behavior ending in a chaotic over the top explosion of violence on the part of the hero feels good on a deeper level.

            "Django" has smart dialogue, human characters, powerful scenes, and a full and dark exploration of slavery that juxtaposes so well with the almost cartoon like levels of violence to produce a very rich and thought provoking movie that is so worth the time to watch it.

10/10

1. Award for best Realization of my Dreams to Date: "Avengers" (Trailer)

            I like superheroes.  This is no secret, I have written more than 50 blog entries on the topic of comic book super heroes (of which I have only migrated 3 onto this particular blog, but that is really more of a house keeping issue than a strike against my favorite hobby), I have hundreds of comic books, I have read probably more than a thousand (I have never really put together a good estimate) I have created my own characters since I was a kid, and I have had any number of contacts with the genre of superheroes my whole life because I love it.

            "Avengers" rocked my socks.  Yes there are little things in it that don't make sense (except most of the ones people cite do make sense if you think about things from the perspective of the character doing the action) but those are few and don't matter.  Things build and build and then release in the best action scene of the year.  The whole movie is filled with good dialogue and interesting characters interacting.  The thing is just excitement and fun and it makes me feel like a kid watching the characters I treasure so much come to life to fight a villain that I really like and understand and feel somewhat sorry for.  This is the stuff young Josh would have loved to get growing up and the idea that it exists for current Josh to appreciate and that more of the things I love will come to life in time makes me feel good about the cultural future I get to be a part of.  We collectively are looking up to big heroes and big ideas and in the long run that is important, we should think big, we should dream big, and that should be what our biggest and best movies should be.

10/10

The NeXt "X-Men" Movie

            Apparently the sequel to "X-Men: First Class" will be based on the X-Men comic "Days of Future Past", generally considered on of the best stories in X-Men.  In the story, the far off distant year of 2013 is a complete dystopia (It was written in 1981).  Giant Robots called Sentinels have wrecked the world, a holocaust of billions ensues.  Turns out the Sentinels were created by humans to fight back against Magneto and mutants in general, but since Mutation is pretty much the destiny of all human lineage, the Sentinels took to scorching the world to stop the proliferation of mutants.  The last of the X-Men send an envoy back in time to stop the rise of the Sentinels.

They have also been Mecha in the past, but that would not serve the narrative very well I think.

            The story has been adapted a few times, giving important roles to different characters, sometimes it is Wolverine (Ultimate Universe) that goes back, other times Bishop (90's Animated Universe), and in the Original story it was Kitty Pryde, a character that was portrayed by Ellen Page in "X-Men: The Last Stand" (a well casted shitty movie).  The story is often mixed with other time travel stories, mostly involving the character Apocalypse, who has yet to appear in the movies and is a very cool and interesting character.  To that end the story has a lot to offer in the way of characters, bad guys, and more over story opportunities that would help to explain why the "X-Men: First Class" film was not entirely in continuity with the other X-Men Franchise... The same reason "Star Trek" (2009) was not in strong continuity with the old series: TIME TRAVEL SHENANIGANS.

            However being a fan of the comics, cartoons, movies, and other X-Crap, I would like to offer suggestions on what should, or could be in this movie.  It's a Top 5 List.

            5) Cast Members from the first three movies.  You could get Ellen Page back playing a more grown up Kitty Pryde, come from the future to warn of time traveling Sentinels coming back in time to kill Prof. X and Magneto, sort of like "Terminator" but with the X-Men.  You could also have Hugh Jackman do another cameo of him fighting killer robots in the Future.  You could also get Taylor Kitsch, the guy who played Gambit, as I think his career is effectively over and he would be an inexpensive character to add.

My lack of necessity is only matched by my complete inability to be recalled.

            4) Master Mold.  The Sentinels are some of the most stylized robots ever conceived.  No where is this more evident than the sky scrapper sized factory, which is also shaped to look like, and is fully functional as: a giant robotic holocaust on poorly drawn feet.  Master Mold is a walking factory bent on the Annihilation of mutants and humans alike.  It is Sky-Net crossed with Mecha Godzilla.  It would serve as a huge set piece for the movie that could out do "The Avengers" in over the top awesome factor.

Seen here in all his 90's animated glory.  By which I mean the tortured attempt to bring to life the over drawn designs of Jim Lee, who never meet a cross hatching or wild inking he did not like.

            3) New characters based around the idea of time travel.  Bishop and Cable are both front runners in this category.  And both have been the time traveling hero in previous adaptations of the story (although when it was Cable, it was really a future version of Wolverine, who was traveling back to stop Apocalypse... but you could cut most of that crap).  Really, I think that Cable would be the easier character to cast, as Stephen Lang (the military leader from "Avatar") looks the part and is comfortable working in genre fiction, but I think Bishop would be the better character to go with, as the X-Men (who are supposed to be a metaphor for diversity) don't really need another white guy on the team.  Jason Mamoa, IdrisElba, Djimon Housou, or Chiwetel Ejiofor would all be good picks to play the character.

Bishop and Cable also share an unlisted super power.  The ability to hold gigantic guns and not look silly.

            2) Time Traveling Villains.  Nimrod, Trevor Fitzroy, or Legion would all be top candidates, and they all serve very different functions.  Nimrod is a nigh unstoppable Robot that even if reduced to component parts can pull itself back together, and would work if the "Terminator" with X-Men idea went forward.  Trevor Fitzroy, is the archenemy of Bishop, and the son of Shaw (Kevin Bacon's character in "X-Men: First Class")  having him come back through time to seek revenge on the X-Men for the Death of his father would be a good starting point for the movie, just have Bishop follow afterword, from a future in which Xavier wasn't around to call for peace.  Legion is the child of Charles Xavier, he traveled back in time to kill Magneto so that Xavier would be able to pursue peace without having to apologize for Magneto's terrorism, thing is Legion is a fuck up and accidently killed Xavier, leading to a world in which Magneto had a full on war with humanity unchecked by Charles.  Each has strengths, each could work.

If Nimrod were the character it has another advantage: You could have the X-Men fighting thousands of Nimrods not unlike the alien invasion in "The Avengers", or the army of Terminators from "Salvation".

            1) Apocalypse.  Aside from Magneto, Apocalypse is the number one bad guy for the X-Men.  He was the first mutant, and with the help of alien technology he has lived forever slowly through war and destruction fostering the growth of Mutant kind.  He made the world into a eugenics crucible to produce the X-Men.  Having him be the ultimate mastermind behind it all, having created the Sentinels as a way to kill of the weakest of the world by the millions and the experiment getting out of hand would be a great story.  You could go so far as to have Apocalypse from 2013 send Bishop or Cable back in time to stop Apocalypse in the 60's (the presumed setting of the next movie).  Hell, you could have it that the Hellfire Club (the villains from the first movie) were trying to start a nuclear war because they were working for Apocalypse, possibly knowingly.  It is major villain, with a major plan, and a lot of power, and a lot of grandeur that would explain the stylized appearance of the Sentinels.  He is a perfect villain for the movie.

"I am the rocks of the eternal shore.... crash against me AND BE BROKEN" 

Top Movies 2004

            Bucking the trend of writing lists that have easy to digest and follow numbering systems, in place of a top 5 for this year (and since I did 10-4 in my last top movies deal) this is the three best movies of 2004.  They won't surprise most people who know me or those who see eye to eye with me, though I imagine a good number of people will say something to the effect of, "yeah, they're all pretty good.  But the best?"  With that in mind here are what I consider to be some of my absolute favorite films of the last 10 years.

            While it is more and more a product of the experimental, let's see how true to the comics we can be, "Spiderman 2" was the best of its trilogy with 4.5 out of 5.  Doctor Octopus is a really cool classic villain and he is realized on screen very well.  Peter's decision to stop being Spiderman encapsulates a huge number of stories written about the character and it is well done.  The universe is really fleshed out and a lot of characters that could have been used in future movies are introduced with Doctor Connors (the Lizard) and John Jameson (Man-Wolf) both being huge wasted characters in the third installment.  Is it cheesy and over acted?  Little bit.  But that is sort of what makes it fun.

Nostalgia Critic's Top 11 Dumbest Spiderman Moments

            #2 movie of the year is another superhero movie, but was original to the film, it is my favorite animated film of all time "The Incredibles" with 5 out of 5, the first movie of the decade to get that title.  This movie touches on numerous issues concerning family, career, school, and is possibly the most clearly illustrated Objectivist Aesop that I have ever seen (give good people the freedom to explore and use their talents and they will save the world).  The characters are all complex, with possibly the exception of Syndrome who is just a bastard through and through, even extending to the supporting cast with Fro-Zone getting some great scenes.  I love this movie.

Confused Matthew Reviews "The Incredibles"

            My number one movie of the year is "Shaun of the Dead" with 5 out of 5.  This movie introduced me to Edgar Wright who is currently boxing Christopher Nolan as my favorite writer-director.  This movie defies genre in that it has comedy, drama, and horror elements.  Some memorable scenes are improv showing that Wright lets his cast throw out creative and interesting ideas, making him leaps beyond George Lucas (James Cameron more and more) and other directors who can't coax creative spark from their actors in genre films.  This movie is so good, if you haven't seen it, go watch it today.  Or since it isn't an instant stream movie I suppose you can wait for Netflix to send it to you, but watch it the day you get it.

For the Awards of 2004

Best Actor/Actress Nominees:

Simon Pegg ("Shaun of the Dead")

Matt Damon ("Bourne Supremacy")

Jim Carrey ("Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind")

Lindsay Lohan ("Mean Girls")

Rob Lowe ("Salem's Lot")

I think she is just happy to be here.

             The Winner is Jim Carrey.  The entire movie pivots on his performance which is really restrained for him.  It allows him to be intense but not in a comedic fashion.  I really think that Carrey doesn't get the respect he deserves in Hollywood, and this movie displays what he can do when he is put into a role he can act in.

You deserve it Jim

Best Special Effects Nominees:

"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"

"Spiderman 2"

"The Bourne Supremacy"

            The winner is "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" which does well blending dreamscape to make emotional impact with the audience, "Spiderman 2" has stellar special effects but they look like special effects by today's standards, "Sunshine" is more subtle.

Best Small Role

Dylan Baker ("Spiderman 2")

Bill Nighy ("Shaun of the Dead")

Julia Stiles ("The Bourne Supremacy")

Brad Bird and Pixar ("The Incredibles")

            This one was harder for me, but I'm going to give it to Brad Bird and Pixar for their creation of the superhero uniform designer Edna.  She has huge comedic weight in the movie and even though she doesn't have a single action scene and her part is limited to outfits and one pep-talk she is still incredibly memorable.  Bill Nighy has the most pathos driven seen in "Shaun of the Dead" and considering how much drama that scene has in a comedy it deserves some recognition.

Very memorable

Best Premise

"Shaun of the Dead"

"The Incredibles"

"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"

"Harold and Kumar go to White Castle"

            "The Incredibles" takes it.  While "Shaun" defies genre it was a zombie movie made in the context of the zombie deluge of... well it is still going on.  "The Incredibles" was an original take on the super hero genre in that it was a family and an original Intellectual property in an era of no original IP's everywhere, which is still going on today.

Best Quote

"Oh, ho ho! You sly dog! You got me monologuing! I can't believe it..."

-Syndrome "The Incredibles"

God, you are such an asshole.