Thursday, July 20, 2017

Dungeons and Dragons, "The Worst Monster"

Standard Introduction
            I have been writing about Dungeons and Dragons semi-regularly this year and in the course of writing those I found a 30-day blog challenge.  As I have done those a couple times before it seemed remiss not to jump on this one.
            If you want here is a link to my 30-day challenge on Disney Movies, here is a link to my 30-day challenge on Video Games, and here is a comically out of date 30-day challenge on Movies (it is old and the writing is rubbish).

Day 20- My Least Favorite Monster
            You might figure that since I already took special time to point to the Fomorians, Cyclopes, and Succubus/Incubus as examples of bad inclusions, would one of those be it?  I laid into the 5th edition version of Angels and Giants as boring, especially as they are a step down from their 4e versions, are they the target?  I also talked at length about how kind of lame Metallic Dragons have been handled, so maybe they are the worst?  I am no fan of Orcs or Drow, am I blasting them again?  What about the markedly inferior Goblins and Kobolds in 5e?  The Aboleth?
            Honestly, I don’t know.
            I know what I like and am pretty good at finding short falls in lots of things, but I rarely denounce something as completely useless.  I rarely see something in the game that can’t be used for something, even if it is not the best at anything.
            To try and find some inspiration I decided to look at a bunch of “Worst/Silliest/Stupidest Monsters in Dungeons and Dragons” lists and I have discovered something, people who tend to make these kinds of lists sound like people I would like to punch in the throat.
            I am a frequently condescending person, but I at the very least try to explain why I dislike something, how I would fix it, or point to where it has been done better.  I do not just call something stupid and then walk away, confident in the conclusiveness of my statement.
            Different things appeal to different people and though a majority of people might find the Roving Mauler to be WAY TOO SILLY for their games… Maybe they should try to take a minute to ask themselves how such a thing could be included.  Take it as a challenge to your writing ability instead of pulling the, “It’s stupid” card out and shutting down the discussion.

It does look pretty silly. Kind of the point.
            Here is a pitch, maybe you want an adventure were strange energies are warping reality or mutating the wildlife and bizarre monsters are appearing.  Strange monsters like the surreal Roving Mauler might work perfectly in such a situation as an example of the strange effects.  What is more, it is a victim of the thing the players would be working to stop in addition to being a threat.  The players might have to fight this kind of creature because it is freaking out at turning into a monster, it is a victim that the heroes are in a position of rescuing but are in the difficult position of having to fight.  Hey, look, I came up with something in 5 sentences.
            There are those articles that explain how to use certain things, which I am thankful for, but I feel that there are too many that say, “Stop having fun” too quickly and always too often.






The Worst Monster
            The worst monster is the toxic player, and beyond that a toxic fandom.  People who shoot down ideas or call everything stupid.  The guys who are drags on other people’s fun.  That is the worst kind of monster in DnD.  The Spoilsport.

Coming Tomorrow
            Tomorrow I am going to talk about my favorite monster.

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