Sunday, August 14, 2016


            You may not have heard, but Donald Trump is running for president.  President of the United States of America.  The country with the best nuclear arsenal.  Donald Trump.
            Anyway, Donald Trump has begun sputtering out the most insane, incoherent, racist, sexist, incestuous, contemptuous, and stupid dialogue since presidential races were held in times of slavery and pistol duels.  If it were not so deeply terrifying that this man could be President of the United States of we have the best Nukes, all of his sputtering nonsense would be funny.  On that note of comedy is where modern voice acting legend Billy West comes into the picture.
            While I know West from a lot of animated stuff, because I am kind of an animation nerd and wanted to be a voice actor 10 years ago but never put myself out there, most people would know West from his numerous parts on “Futurama”, one of my favorite shows.
            West voiced the main hero of the series, Fry but he also voiced one of the most iconic supporting characters, 25 star General Zapp Branigan.  Zapp is a parody of Captain Kirk as a brash, egotistical moron who could only manage to take such a high command in the universe of “Futurama”.  He is toxic masculinity made manifest and a mascot of all the wrong traits that used to be lionized in adventure fiction and science fiction in pulp era.  He is one of the funniest god damn things in science fiction.
This is Billy West's Twitter Account.
            West has been reading quotes of Donald Trump in the voice of Zapp Branigan.  None of them sound out of character.  This gave me an idea: They should resurrect the series to make another “Futurama” movie with the plot of, “Zapp Branigan for President of Earth”.  And use Trump quotes, both modified for the science fiction setting and unmodified it would be great.

            Here is my idea for the plot synopsis:
1)     Zapp decides to run for President after being ordered not to bombard a previously uncontacted planet who he suspects of harboring people who wish to profit from peaceful trade with the Democratic Order of Planets, and he can’t stand the idea of a foreign power gaining some kind of advantage via peaceful interaction.
2)     Current President of Earth, Nixon’s Head in a jar realizes that he cannot run again, but knows that as devious and somewhat evil as he has been in the past knows that Zapp will leave the galaxy a smoking ruin, and decides to run again under a new identity, Regina Nixon, his long lost Daughter’s head (it is Nixon in a wig and lipstick in the most thin of thin disguises).
3)     Seeing thru the disguise Leela think that she should enter the race courting the mutant vote, and is ultimately becoming the champion of the lower classes… Who then begin to make super anti-alien rhetoric their calling card.
4)     The Professor decides to run railing about how unnecessary wars are getting in the way of using science to build up earth, and how everything should be reworked to educated people to be less stupid.  Unfortunately, he attracts a lot of sexists who co-opt his message.
5)     Bender joins the race on a pro-robot ticket, and appealing to Robotology fundamentalist and evangelicals for support.
6)     Montages of political events with Zapp giving the rambling angry speeches Trump is known for, the Professor going on Bernie Sanders esc tirades, Bender talking about how his Hispanic heritage and the fact that he was assembled in Canada should not disqualify him, “Regina” covering up and discrediting all the people who are calling “her” a liar with a bad public record who is just trying to bank on her name, and Leela being reasonable and being ignored.
7)     It comes down to a debate in which Fry is torn between who to help, with Leela trying to get him to help Bender (seeing Fry as a drag on her campaign) with Zoidberg and Amy working for the Professor, and Scruffy and Hermes trying to help with all three’s campaigns.  Zapp is shown blowing up the DOOP headquarters, and he then starts bragging about it and winning votes.
8)     Ultimately Zapp wins, but a shadow government consisting of various powerful characters from the series; like Mom, the Wongs, and one of the robots from the council of elders is revealed and they decide to give the election to Nixon because at least they know how bad “she” is and what to expect going forward.

I do not know how well this would work, I have never worked in TV or movies, but I think this would be great.  Am I crazy?

If you like or hate this please take the time to comment, +1, share on Twitter, Tumblr, or Facebook, and otherwise distribute my opinion to the world.  I would appreciate it.

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