Posts
I have not been posting nearly enough this year and I want to steer
back from that. To that end
I have found a 30-day blog challenge and will be writing out entries, hopefully
I can get all thirty days without any breaks, and if I manage to do that (since
August has 31 days) I will think of an additional entry to write about. I have done a 30-day
challenge before, it for movies, but that was a
while back, feel free to read those too if you like.
Today is
day 8 and the topic is “Worst Antagonist”.
Originally there was no blog entry of “Worst
Antagonist”. Instead there was “Favorite
game couple”. As I hate video game
romances, just look back on Kaiden in the “Annoying Supporting Character” blog
entry, I dropped the category (I thought about running down each of the love
interests in “Zelda: Ocarina of Time,” but that just seemed dumb the more I
thought about it, if you disagree however, and want to see me talk about the
“Love Interests of Time” in the future, please leave a comment and I will
consider it).
There is an episode of Extra Credits that points to a lot of the troubles I have with
video game romance plot, like how they are usually just the beginnings of a
relationship and are often pretty thin overall.
Anyway,
I decided to instead do an opposite entry to yesterdays’ awesome bad guy to
provide contrast and for me to bang on about something I dislike.
“You do not even know our tongue, do you?” it said
contemptuously. “Such arrogance, to dare
take for yourself the name of Dovah!”
Alduin joins a long line of all powerful beings who want to blow up the
universe because… They’re just a bunch of dicks. In the world of “Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim”
Alduin is a dragon god who will wake the dead dragons of old and then eat all
of time to reboot the universe. You are
the Viking Messiah, who can eat the souls of dragons and save the universe by
yelling so loud at people they burst into flame.
 |
| More than a little Satan imagery mixed into this. |
When I worked in retail I would sometimes leave out
little doodles of a dragon bigger than earth with the stupid line of “Beware of
Space Dragons”. The obvious joke being that
the dragon was so far beyond humans that to beware it is meaningless. Alduin is a space Dragon that you beat up
after yelling mean things at it. That is
not an exaggeration, some ghost Vikings are there to help, but you seriously
just yell angrily in a made up language (there is another thing I can bitch
about at a later date) and then you hit him with something until he “dies”.
I say “dies” because Alduin, being a god will return to
blow up the universe at some point down the line, so this is all just a delay
tactic. Let’s ignore all of that
though. Magic is silly, so yelling a
spell and Viking ghosts are not that stupid in context, it is all fun. What is stupid is how laid back Alduin is
about the whole end of the universe thing.
I
generally disliked fighting dragons in “Skyrim” so much so that I just figured
I wouldn’t bother. I never did any of
the quests related to dragons, and thus never saw any of them. None.
I played past level 40 beating the hell out of DLC vampires and Alduin
never came a knocking. I couldn’t have
been happier. Sure I lost my ability to
light people on fire by yelling, but so what, I didn’t have any random roaring
interrupting my mountain strolling.
 |
| Call me Emo, but I have always been more a fan of vampires in fantasy than dragons. Vampires have more interesting politics and being that they were once humans but have draw backs and powers they lend themselves to more things thematically. |
You might be saying, “It is an RPG, play how you want to
play.” And I like that, I like choice,
but I also like the idea that if I make the wrong choice, say for instance not
fighting the apocalyptic plague of dragons, that choice will result in the
world ending. Not what happens instead,
which is nothing.
In“Majora’s Mask” if Link doesn’t stop the Skull Kid in 3 days, the moon slams into the planet and kills everyone, that is what is at stake, and it is always
counting down. Alduin by contrast is an
unstoppable dragon god… except you win by default if you never bother to fight
him at all. You don’t see him, you don’t
fight his minions, he just isn’t around.
Banished by the player not giving a “Frin Bahlaan Aaz” what his Dovaah
ass is up to. THAT IS A WEAK VILLAIN.
I hate the
common bad guy type of, “I am an asshole and am going to blow up the universe”. I dislike Galactus, I dislike the
Anti-Monitor, I even dislike super weapons that keep cropping up that have the
same effect. I hate the Star Killer Base
from “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” so much that I had to look up its boring
ass name for this blog. Motivation is
important, I may not like the motivation, but base drives are weak, coupling
those drives with great power is also WEAK, it is just weak that is loud and self-important.
I will point to another example,
one that is very appropriate because “Skyrim” was very much inspired by it. The reason so little time is spent
with the Wight Walkers on “Game of Thrones” is because their zombie hordes have
no motivation, they are just a great mysterious evil, a back drop in front of
which Cersei, Ramsey, Little Finger, and all the other complex characters can
scheme. Nobody actually cares about
WINTER; it is the fact that WINTER IS COMING that makes everything else
meaningful.
ALDUIN IS
THE WINTER THAT NEVER COMES.
 |
| "Winter is--" "Yeah, we know." |
I should
point out, that for all of its faults I have spent nearly 400 hours playing “Skyrim”
at time of writing. What it lacks in
immediacy it makes up for in just being so expansive. It is a very full and rich world loaded down
with adventures. I highly recommend it
on that basis, and I do not recommend the main story at all (it is boring).
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